Ladies, what do you think? Is chivalry truly dead?

Question

I have done a thousand things I thought to be just normal courtesy for any girl I saw who needed it (opening doors, defending a girl's honour, consoling a girl sitting alone with a depressed look on her face, etc.), and all I seem to hear is "Chivalry is not dead afterall." instead of a "Thank you". Ladies...any input?

Teresa, that's funny. I used to live in TX. lol

Answer 1

No, I don't believe that it is dead. It's almost though, and it is a courtesy that isn't shown as often as it may have been at another time. I wish it would come back by storm, from both sexes. It's such a lovely thing. Do not worry about the comment they gave you, it means more than the thank you. It's amazing how such small an act is appreciated too, and I believe the shock of it sometimes may come out with them responding that way. It's funny how such a small act can mean such a great deal. The first time I ever met my husband, the first thing he did before we ever spoke was he offered his seat to me in a room where I didn't have anywhere to sit down. Needless to say it made an impression on me lol, well what I mean is, it didn't go unnoticed and it really flattered me. Such a little thing can give you hope in mankind. You would be surprised also at how such a small act can brighten a persons day. No, chivalry is not dead, but it is dying away and if we do not raise our children and teach them such manners, and we practice them ourselves it will be thing of the past instead of just barely surviving. Bravo to you for carrying it on! =)

Answer 2

No it is not dead, at least, not around me :-) I like it when guys open the doors for me. Not like I can't do it, neither I feel it's his job, but it is his chance give this gesture of courtesy and it is my chance to notice it and say "thank you".

Defending a girl's honor is a slightly harder concept. I can't think of an example. I guess I was fortunate to never need it so far. Also, I think the world HAS changed a little - women are not as powerless as before and they expect to have to defend themselves, and don't even notice it.

Oh, yeah, with the car doors (this comment is inspired by one of the answers). There is a joke that if the guy opens the car door for the girl it means his car is new or his girl is new. I love it. I always mention it (when appropriate). Guys laugh, and keep opening the door for me, implying "You are new forever."

All that doesn't interefere with my "feminism" - I have a very demanding job in a male-dominated field. One has nothing to do with the other. Yes, it is silly if my collegue opens the door of the machine shop for me after we both finished our work, but he still does, and I say thank you.

Answer 3

Courtesy is not dead, but chivalry is somewhat unnecessary. Today's women seek a balance between feminity and feminism, and some gestures are just outdated (i.e. some guy opened a car door for me and it seemed a little ridiculous.) In part, I think our society has become more self-absorbed and thus people go out of their way to help others less often. If you are thinking of women specifically, some of the change in attitude can be attributed to the gender equality mentality-they want to be treated as capable and intelligent, and receive less help because they "don't need it."

The comment "chivalry is not dead" seems to imply the people you help out means they don't expect it. The fact that they accepted your help, though, means it was appeciated, so pleased don't be discouraged.

Answer 4

The point about chivalry was supposed to be that men should show courtesy to ladies, and honour them as being superior beings worthy of courteous attention. When a knight made a lady the object of his affections in medieval times, he was the one who was supposed to be good and submissive, he was supposed to do whatever the lady told him, no matter how unreasonable and capricious her demands might be. In more recent times, this got translated into rather less exacting minor social courtesies like opening doors, giving up chairs, helping on with coats etc, which lacked the drama of the chivalric code of the middle ages but was more suited to our blander times. I do not personally find chivalrous gestures of this type very interesting or significant, and I am quite happy to do without them, but I have never associated them with being submissive, though I know some women do.

Answer 5

Chivalry isn't dead. At all! I know a lot of guys who still do the whole open the door for the girl thing. Good job carrying on the tradition!

Answer 6

I always say thank you, even if it is a little child. For the past 3 months because of a knee injury i get doors opened for me, or held open.

the other day a small child held a door open for me and I thanked her. Her parents thanked me, because they said that usually no one would take the time to thank their child, just because she is a child.

Chivalry is not dead after all, is just another way of saying thank you. Usually older people use that phrase.

I would rather have someone say something, then nothing at all!

Answer 7

Maybe among the young. I wouldn't know, but I know a few chivalrous old fellows. Mexicans are more chivalrous in my experience. I've been amazed at the courtesy I've been shown since I came to live in Mexico. Don't despair; it's not completely dead.
On second thoughts, I just recalled my 22 year-old grandson. He is very kind and thoughtful to women. It's the way his mother raised him.

Answer 8

Well, thank you. Though I don't think you've ever said anything to me personally. It's incredibly nice knowing someone out there still does that kind of thing. A lot of people have no respect whatsoever for us girls anymore. In general, Oklahomans don't give a flying fig about a girl in a situation, but my mother, my two sisters, and I had a flat tire in Texas (where I used to live), and a guy stopped to help us. My mother offered to pay him for his help, and he said we didn't need to. So, in response to your question, chivalry does appear to be dying out, and we need to help it any way we can.

Answer 9

It never will be dead as long as there are men with manners.