Today is my birthday, my husband forgot it. On top of that he called me at worked and started arguing with me because I said I wasn't going to cook today. He hasn't worked for 5 years and still Iam getting blamed for it. No he isnot disabled. Actualy he made me cry because he said that I don't do anything. What else can I do. I work, go to school, take care of my son(I bring him to work with me after school) Cook, clean, I know it's my job to do all this but I feel like today because it was my birthday, I would get a break. I am so depressed now.
2006-12-20 09:38:51 · 42 answers · asked by jennyvee413 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
SISTA -
OH NO HE DIDN'T
Quote Steel Magnolia's
Oh! He's a real gentleman! I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he PEES in it!
You need him for what reason? You already do everything and take care of youself. Let's see you are mom, caretaker, cook, bread winner, maid, student, babysitter to a grown man, and exhausted. Notice wife/partner was not listed.You have a right to be depressed and crying, as I would cry too if I couldn't shake this loser off my leg!!!!
Even if he had remembered ... wouldn't you be taking yourself out, since he has no job or money? I sure wouldn't take him out and treat him to dinner!
No one is worth strife, drama, getting bunged up over. NOT EVEN HIM! He could eat the dust mites off the sofa for dinner! Go celebrate your b-day with your son and call a n attorney in the morning. Mr. Wonderful can get a job, pay for your attorney fees, child support until your son is 18, college for another 2 years and see how it feels to be busting it to stay afloat. Then ... if he does not like paying child support pursuant to the court order, he will have plenty of time to lay around in jail.
Smile! It increases your face value.
2006-12-20 10:35:27 · answer #1 · answered by Kirk S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, since your p*ss poor excuse of a husband won't say happy birthday, I will. Happy Birthday. Get a couple of friends together and go out for your birthday and leave the deadbeat at home. Why are you still married to a guy who refuses to put any effort into your marriage? Don't be depressed. Just get out from under him. This guy is an abusive husband. Maybe not physically, but mentally, which is just as bad, if not worse. You don't need that. The best birthday present you can give yourself is to present him with divorce papers. Good luck. You can e-mail me through here if you want and talk a little.
2006-12-20 09:51:50 · answer #2 · answered by BigJake418 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
I am so very sorry that your husband is like this toward you. Honey you really need to divorce him and leave him, and find you someone who will treat you with respect and help you out by working. A marriage is a 50/50 relationship commitment. And your husband has not been doing his percentage of this marriage. He really isnt worth your time and to be perfectly honest with you, he does not deserve to be your husband. You deserve way better.
If you dont want this option, then tonight I suggest you take a pan or what ever it is he wants you to cook and take it over to him and put it in his hands or lap and tell him to walk in the kitchen and cook his own dinner. Or tell him to order take out or something. And tell him how you feel and ask him if he remembers what today is? And if he still says no, then put him a pillow and a blanket on the couch. And tell him that is where he is going to sleep until you hear an apology from him. a sincere apology and tell him that you do everything, and that he does nothing. Tell him you are going to leave him if he doesnt get a job soon and starts treating you with respect like he should be treating you.
I am sorry once again this has happened to you.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY once again. and go out with a girlfriend tonight or something and celebrate. You deserve it!
2006-12-20 09:50:56 · answer #3 · answered by Katherine S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off... HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETIE! Do you realize how many men would do anything for a lady like you???? Why is this man not working? If you work and go to school and he does not. Then it would be his job to cook and clean. So when I hear you do it all, and he does nothing. Then I have to ask why are you with such a loser????? I am sorry but why?????? You do deserve better, don't allow others to treat you that way. You deserve to be appreciated in all ways, and you do not deserve this crap. Do you want to live this way forever? Take a long hard look at this relationship please. One thing to think about is, do you want your child to think this is how you treat your spouse? Your child knows when you are stressed, and feels everything. So really think abou things. Maybe your best B-day gift will be a "reality check." A new start, without him.... Good luck :)
2006-12-20 09:49:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Happy birthday first off. You first mistake was thinking you were going to get a break. Never happens. Now get into your car go buy yourself some flower and a Happy Birthday to me card and get you and your son something to eat. Spend some time with your son and make the best of the rest of your day. Tonight, take a long shower and relax. It is your day. Leave the birthday card out and don't expect a Happy Birthday or anything else, just keep on trucking and next year don't expect him to remember or hope for something wonderful. that way when it doesn't happen your not disappointed.
2006-12-20 09:47:11 · answer #5 · answered by cheoli 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't blame you for being depressed. And actually since your husband hasn't worked for 5 years (and it's not medical) he should be the one cleaning and taking care of the baby...not you. You are putting the food on table and keeping the roof over his head. He sounds really selfish and though I'm not a huge supporter of divorce this is one situation where you may want to give yourself a birthday present and dump the parasite.
Good luck and Happy Birthday :)
2006-12-20 09:46:15 · answer #6 · answered by The Steele's 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, Happy Birthday to you!!!!!
Second, what does he do all day if he doesn't work and you are taking care of the child?
Third, why do you put up with it? What do you have to lose if you divorce him? You already work and take care of the child and home. The only thing you would miss is having a husband use you like he is using you. I see nothing in this question about him saying he loves you and appreciates you supporting him. To be honest, you would be a lot happier on your own where you didn't have to deal with this.
2006-12-20 09:47:13 · answer #7 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry about your situation. Most men these days take things for granted. All relationships usually starts out in a good way. Many men will go the distance to impress a lady. Once he conquers it, he'll move on to the next best thing (usually himself).
;)
How long have you been married to him? What was the last activity(ies) you have done together?
My suggestion is probably seek professional help if you two can't communicate with one another. Once you break down that communication barrier, I'm sure you'll know what to do next.
To be honest, if all fails, I would suggest leaving him to find a better person.
2006-12-20 09:46:05 · answer #8 · answered by The Doctor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well first off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! second, i don't understand why you are still with him. if i was working and going to school then i would expect the laundry to be done, the dishes cleaned, the floors vacuumed, and dinner to be on the table when i got home. it sounds to me that he is completely taking this marriage for granted. why doesn't he work? i can understand maybe a month if you are looking for a new job after getting fired, but 5 years. come on now. is he looking for a free ride or what? there is no reason for any of this. i mean please tell me what he takes responsibility for? in my opinion i think you could do much better for not only you, but your son as well.
2006-12-20 10:03:50 · answer #9 · answered by maggie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all....HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!!!!!!! Second of all. All of those things aren't "your job". If he is not working and is not disabled he should be picking up your son, doing the house work, and cooking. Marriage is a partnership. You are doing your part by providing an income and doing a whole lot more!!!! It is time for him to participate in this partnership. I don't want to tell you to leave him, but you should consider it as an option, becausequite frankly you don't deserve that kind of treatment. Good Luck.
2006-12-20 09:53:29 · answer #10 · answered by hockey2525 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋