my son is 15 confessed that he is in love with a man what do i do?

Question

is this a hormone imbalance as he wants to comit suicide because we will not allow him to see his friend because he is 10 years older than him we are afraid that he wil get into wrong company is this a fase that one goes through will he change his mind and look at women or do i accept this diversity which specialist can i take him to i

Answer 1

support him and love him no matter what

Answer 2

There is no specialist you can take him to about this. He is what he is, and the thoughts of suicide will only be made worse by the people he loves the most rejecting him and making him feel that he is some sort of deviant. I would get him some help regarding his depression, but no matter how you feel about his sexual orientation, tell him that you will love and support him no matter how he feels, and who he is. You are doing the right thing, though, keeping him away from his "friend", if the friend is 10 years older than him. That man is "with" a minor, and that makes him a predator. I would report him to the police. You can do so without letting your son know that you are the ones who reported him. Get your son to therapist soon.

Answer 3

There IS something wrong with your son, but not in the way you think. He is emotionally hurting. He has low self-esteem. He probably is dealing with a *LOT* of problems realizing his sexuality. As a person who has personally known many gay guys, I can say that most of them are really nice, sensitive people and make GREAT guy friends. ^_^ <3 (*hugs to them all*) and i think the only thing you should do is explain to him why the age difference bothers you so much and explain the dangers, etc. if he's not interested in girls, so what? he's still your son. And don't try to pressure him to 'become straight', because it doesn't work that way and just causes more pain. As for the suicide threat, pay attention to it (probably get him a nice therapist) and realize that it's also a plea for love and attention. If your son wants to talk to someone his age, message me and i'll give u my email address so you can give it to him. at the very least, *I* support him and who he is (just not this specific relationship) and would be very sad if something WERE to happen to him.

Answer 4

If your son is gay at 15 he will probably remain gay. You would probably do better for him if you are accepting of who he is. The biggest problem you have is an inconsolable, suicidal 15 year old that thinks he is in love with a 25 year old man. First of all it makes no difference if they are both male or man and girl it is illegal for this predator to target your son.

Your son needs to understand that it is not because he is gay, it is because of the age difference and believe me, you would feel the same way if it were a daughter and a 25 year old man. I would be willing to bet that this man has targeted other young teens and your son is just one of many. Get the cops involved. Get him some psychiatric help for his suicidal tendencies and get him into some therapy with an understanding psychologist that can help him through these feelings but that will not try to change him from being gay. His feelings of "being in love" are that much more intense because of his age. He should also be counciled on how to keep himself safe - STD, including HIV are out there and the danger can be mitigated with proper usage of condoms etc. Education is important! Make sure he knows you love him no matter what. Good luck dear.

Answer 5

Well,

I might be cautious too, because of the age difference, and the risks of predation, however.

STOP THINKING THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR SON!!!

You are being a completely horrible parent by even suggesting that he is going through a "phase" or that his feelings aren't valid, or that he has any "condition" that needs treatment.

The only issue that might need treatment is the damage you are causing him by not being a loving, accepting mother. I think your actions already will be enough to cause him to seek therapy in time.

However, there is some concern over his thoughts of suicide. Take him to your family doctor, tell the doctor what he said about the killing himself bit, and then LEAVE THE ROOM!!

Now, if you want to continue to have a relationship with your son, you are going to have to deal with the fact that he is attracted to men, and is capable of having feelings for men. If he truly is in love with this 25 year old, you may need to allow them to see each other at your house, so you can be sure of what is going on. If you don't, you may find that the two of them have run off together, and you may never see your son again.

I do not wish to sound heartless, but, being the parent of a gay/bi teen is difficult, and you are doing a lot damage by your ridiculous attitudes.

I wish you all the very best,

Namaste,

--Tom

Answer 6

Sit down and have a good heart to heart and explain that 25 year old men who are willing to date 15 year olds (no matter what sex) are predators. This is illegal in almost every state and his 'friend' could end up in jail very easily.

Then check into family counseling so that you can all get help understanding what your son is going through. There are support groups out there for families of newly professed homosexuals that would probably be very helpful. Talk to your family doctor and I'm sure he can recommend a good therapist/group that will fit your needs.

Answer 7

I would accept his diversity, but I am concerned that he is only 15 and the man is 25. Does that man love him? He could change his mind about his sexuality again. Things are not always so cut and dry. What concerns me is his suicide threat. You have to take that seriously, no matter what. Can you go to family counseling? You should probably go the counselor separately, then together. How does your son's father feel about it? This is tough, but don't cave in. You might have to go through several counselors before you find one everyone in the family can be comfortable with. Please reassure your son that you love him, and that as a family you will all try to work things out.

Answer 8

Even the well known gay Survivor celebrity "Richard Hatch" put a stop to his son seeing an older man.

I am against the gay lifestyle and consider it a mental dissorder.., one that psychiatrists mistakenly give great credibility as normal (except a few hold outs).

Non the less - if I take a neutral view - any child does not need to be with an older companion in the romantic sense. I applaud, Richard Hatch for demonstrating at least a "little bit" of morality and stopping his son from getting involved with adults in that way.

If I remember correctly, his son threatened suicide too. If your son is threatening suicide it could just be blackmail, using your emotions to get his way. Put him in therapy ASAP just as a precaution and make sure the therapist knows he threatened suicide. He needs help if he is even considering harm to himself.

Answer 9

If there was any time in your life that you ever had to believe in your son and the values you taught him that time is now. Accept him for who he is and who he has become. Listen he told you what he told you because he trusts you and now look at what you are doing with that trust; you are throwing it back in his face.
The specialist he needs now is you and to believe once more that you can be trusted and that you trust him; no matter what trust in the values you have bestowed upon him no matter who he is.
Which specialist can i take him to I'm worried, I love my son and don't want to see him hurt. I'm scared that this man may be preying on my son. That were my son and or my daughter I would be myself. I'm embarrassed because of what other people may think. (more on that in a minute)
Let things simmer down. When they do talk things out with him and by all means please do not bring up that phase stuff because you may be back to square one.
I speak from experience, I'm straight and because I did not act like everyone else there was something wrong with me and my mom took me to this therapist and that therapist to try and straighten me out to what she believed was normal. She never got it, the truth is she didn't want to, and I hope that you will.
My mother was not worried, she was not scared, she was embarrassed and by no means or intentions had no means to support me.
My problem or was I am obedient, and you know how that goes for American women, well, yeah I got razzed and how. My mom thought I was playing games.

Answer 10

Tell him that while you don't judge his sexual orientation, you feel it is inappropriate for a 15 year old to be in a romantic relationship with someone who is 25, and as a parent who is responsible for the well being of your child you are obligated to do everything in your power to keep a relationship like that from beginning or continuing, up to and including reporting his "friend" to the police if he continues to try and see him, or continues to try to pressure you to let him see him. And be sure to call the police promptly if your son violates any of your conditions.

This has nothing to do with sexual orientation, it has to do with the age of consent. Don't worry about getting him interested in girls, just keep him away from men older than himself. He can, and will, do what he wants when he is 18.

Answer 11

Just tell him that you don't approve of the age difference and that it would be the same if he were wanting to see a 25 year old woman. If he persists, then tell him that the only way he can see him is if one of his parents is present and he comes to your house. In other words, he will be chaperoned whenever he is with this older guy.