I'm 30 and am struggling with the decision of whether to have children. I like children. I believe I would be a good mother. I love the idea of motherhood, except one thing. On the selfish side, I worry about my livelihood. I don't want to work the rest of my life, struggling to make ends meet, retiring when I'm too tired to enjoy it. I don't have the fear of not having someone to take care of me, because if I don't have children, I hope to be able to afford to pay someone to take care of me. And, before you get on me about how selfish it is to not want to have children because "I want to retire earlier", let me say that I can list several reasons people give to have children that are just as selfish.
I'm not looking for reasons to have or not to have children. I'm really wondering, for those that didn't have them, do you regret it now? Or, do you still have the fear that you may someday regret it? Will I live with the constant question, "Did I make the right choice?
2006-12-20 09:10:41 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yes, I made a conscious choice not to have children (well, actually, my husband and I made the choice together). I'll be 36 next month, and I don't have any regrets regarding it - in fact there are times when I'm listening to someone's kid throwing a screaming temper tantrum that I'm damned glad we didn't.
The decision to have children is entirely up to you and your partner. It doesn't make you "less of a woman" or "incomplete" to not have them, just as it doesn't make you "more of a woman" or "complete" to have them.
2006-12-20 09:14:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I used to think that someone making a decision not to have children was selfish. But the older I get, I realize that everyone in this world is different. As long as you are true to yourself and your desire to love people as a whole and make a difference in this world, that is the most important. I think it takes courage to make a decision following your heart that most people may not understand.
I personally want children, very very much. But that doesn't make me more or less selfish than you. We are just two different people.
2006-12-20 09:33:26 · answer #2 · answered by Jaedyn=God has heard 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All the fears and worries you have about those things will dissapear the first time you hear your child say I love you mommy. We all feel like that at some point just take your time you'll have one when your ready.
2006-12-20 09:31:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you think for one minute that with or without children your going to be struggle free ? your 30, c'mon already !! your heart either wants to love unconditionally or it doesnt
2006-12-20 09:24:09 · answer #4 · answered by georgia k 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋