My husband is Indian (Muslim). I am Hispanic raised catholic, but converted to islam. We have a child together and since last year we have been having trouble. We love eachother very much, but have too many differences when it comes to raising our 2 year old. His family also plays a huge part in our marriage. When they do something to offend me and disrespect me as a mother I tell my husband and he does not beleive me. Therefore I am starting to resent him. Is it possible that because I am not Indian and was not raised Muslim my husbands family will never accept and love me?
2006-12-20 08:48:22 · 24 answers · asked by angel eyes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Of course it can work. You just need to appreciate and respect the differences. However, as you learn more about each other I suspect you will find far more similarities than differences.
Blend the two and come up with something unique to what you both believe. Enjoy!
2006-12-20 08:50:47 · answer #1 · answered by Plasmapuppy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly dont think its an issue. I'm Indian (hindu) and I have a white brother-in law who is catholic. My family never treats him like that. At first they were against the marriage but they came to their senses and accepted him for who he is. It all depends on person really. I think it has a lot to do with his Muslim background also. Muslim men can be a real pain sometimes.. no offense. Why did you convert? because he asked u to or was it your choice?
2006-12-20 08:57:52 · answer #2 · answered by Fashionista 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends.Since you have already converted to islam you have to follow their religion. As a Catholic we have mix marriages done in our church and one condition you have to agree is to raise the kid according to the Catholic religion but you have already given up your religion for his so this does not apply to you anymore. As for the culture you have to accept his way of living if you really love him.I think all in law problems happen all the time no matter what nationality you may belong. It would be better for you to live far from your in laws to avoid conflicts. Do not put your husband in a situation where he has to choose between you and his parents. If you were in his shoes what wopuld you do ?
2006-12-20 09:04:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a pickle, Why does his family play such a huge role??? do you live with them??? if not then what is the problem, Tell them off as you are probably a good mom. Why are you around them when your husband is not .. stop doing that ok ...... Now your husband love his family but he should love and respect you more so tell him so. .... and yes because you are not muslim his family will never accept you. so stay away from them unless your husband is with you ok???? i hope things work out for you. He needs to cut the link to his family if they are causing a problem.
2006-12-20 09:00:53 · answer #4 · answered by picture 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have several Indian Islamic friends.Their is unfortunately a large role that family plays in any marriage with an Indian Muslim.It has nothing to do with you.It is the age old culture which hasn't changed with time.Unless you guys get away from family it is not going to work.The root problem in marriages from the subcontinent is that involves to many players. You can satisfy one or two but not all.
2006-12-20 09:20:50 · answer #5 · answered by DRAX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very possible that your husband's family is religiously prejudiced. But what really matters is that your husband seems to side with them, not you. If you can't work things out between the two of you - your marriage won't work, regardless of how his family feels about it. They are pouring kerosine onto the fire, for sure - but the root of the problem is in the relationship between you and your husband. If you two can stick together, his family will not have as much power over you two. They only have as much control as they are given.
2006-12-20 08:55:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if he believes in you... Trust it is very important. I understand you perfectly. I am Romanian and my husband is American. It was difficult for us for the first 3 years. He wanted me to change and I wanted him to change. Now it is okay because I don't ask him anymore about changing his life style and he doesn't ask me to change. Even though I did adjust very well to the US culture because we live here, we still have some ups and downs once in a while. That is normal for everybody. I don't agree though when his parents are trying to barge in. They have no part in your decisions and relationship with your husband. And he has to listen to you first. He needs to forget about his Mommy, he is not a baby anymore. I don't mean that he shouldn't respect his parents. Yes it is wonderful if he is respectful, but now he has a separate life, he is married to you and he should talk to you first about all the decisions that needs to be made.
I also suggest that if you can't solve the situation on your own you should find some help in counselling with a Psychological Family Specialist. Don't wait for too long because the bag is getting heavier and you don't want that.
2006-12-20 13:07:13 · answer #7 · answered by Lucia I 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen dear i can understand your problem very well because i have the same proble as yours cause my dad is an indian(hindu) and mom is an anglo indian(protestant) my dad's relatives here too a play quiet large role in the married life.But my mom takes her time out and sits with my dad and talks about the matter.And guess what he too dosent belive but that dosent let my mom doen and still she tries and succeeds in solving the matter.Iam 20 years and have a small brother who is 16 yrs of age.We both stay quiet and let mom do the job cause she knows dad much more than we do.So i think you have the answer in yourself.Do not resent him he is your better half and you both are complete as one body and nobody can break that relationship not even the in-laws so tak to him about it .
all the best for your married life.bye take care.
2006-12-20 13:44:17 · answer #8 · answered by sunny parihar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can certainly work out, but the odds are against it. Religion, culture, education and a few other issues are all strong predictors of marital success. This isn't the same thing as a guarantee - even the strongest of predictors is only about 20% accurate (if I remember correctly), but it's something to worry about.
What it means is that you'll have to work at your marriage, not just take it for granted. Actually, that's what we ALL have to do - you just have some specific issues to work at.
Good luck!
2006-12-20 08:51:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was good if you had spoken about it before marriage...but then again you cannot change that today.It seems that 'you are too many ' in the marriage.I think the family should leave you alone with your husband in to raise your child.The whole problem is your husband....he believes and trusts his family more than he does you.Then why did he marry you??Talk about it with your husband...before it is too late...
2006-12-20 08:57:00 · answer #10 · answered by mwihakz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋