Advice for a soon to be mother...im 20 yrs old and need help?

Question

I just found out on Monday that I'm pregnant. I'm a 20 yr old college student. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and of course he is standing by me. He is going to get a job on November as a police officer making 43K a year. I've worked at a daycare for the past 3 years with infants and toddlers so I'm very experienced in that field. I'm not worried about being a good mom or taking care of the baby...I know I will be an excellent mom.
The only thing that is tearing me up right now is telling my parents and grandparents. They are religious and strict about these things.
To give you and idea, my 26 year old cousin who has a well paying job is living with his fiancee. My grandma condemns it and refuses to see their house because she does not believe in living together before marriage. They are very old fashioned and stuck in their ways. I know when they find out I"m pregnant, they will never speak to me or look at me again. They will shun me. How can I tell them!

I'm not as worried about my parents. They will be disappointed at first and then learn to accept it, but I guess my problem is that I can't deal with having my parents and family be mad and disappointed in me. I'm soooo scared to tell them. I'm worried sick about this.
Any advice from someone who had a similar experience??
How did you cope with your family being so disappointed and angry at you?

Answer 1

I had to tell everyone, just a few months after I turned 16, that I was pregnant. It's tough, I'm not going to lie to you. The look on my Mother's face hurt more than anything. You're just going to have to grit your teeth and do it. What's done is done. They'll have to get over it. They have a grandbaby on the way, one that they will love, no matter the circumstances. We all make bad decisions. It's part of life, you live and you learn. Old fashioned has got nothing to do with it. This sort of thing happened 60 years ago too. I know, because my husband's grandparents got married, because she got pregnant. It's gonna be hard, but it's something you have to do. I suggest you do it now. Sooner is better than later. It will give them a chance to digest the news before the baby gets here. Congrats on your baby, you're going to be just fine.

Answer 2

I understand what you are going through because my grandparents are the same way...they think I am living in sin because I am not married to my boyfriend of 3 years and I am living with him. Be honest with them and let them know that you have a plan such as continuing to go to school, and made arrangements for daycare, etc. and if the baby is due in the summer time let them know that it wont also interfere with your schooling. Your other option is just let them find out when your showing. Let your parents and grandparents know how much you love them and how much you love your boyfriend and that your confident that everything will be okay and that you would like their support. If your parents/grandparents went through the same thing when they were young I am sure they should also understand. I am 8 weeks preg. and I haven't told my grandparents yet. I know they will be disappointed but I know they will still talk to me. I don't think it would be a little extreme if they stopped talking to you...its immature and its not love.

I hope this helped good luck!

Answer 3

I became pregnant at the age of 38; I was divorced; living with a chinese man who was my business partner too, and who did not want to know about the baby. I already had four older children from my marraige.
The worst part was telling my parents, even at my age. I hid it until I was 24 weeks, then I told my father over the phone, and asked him would he tell my mum.
She bitched and criticised and condemned; but never to my face. Instead she made sure it was to people who would be sure to say it back to me!
My dad was actually ok about it; he did try to talk me into having the baby adopted though; pointing out the difficulties of trying to raise a child of mixed race alone in a very rigid, almost all-white society.
I kept my baby. My dad adored him from day one, played with him, chatted to him. My mum was different. She regarded my child as shameful, and "I was no better than a street walker".
My son is 14 now. My dad died earlier this year. I'm so glad they knew each other.
Make sure your boyfriend is with you when you tell them. Stay calm. Have your strategy worked out before you go to see them. Stick to your guns. They will get over it. Be proud of your baby. Tell them it wasn't planned, but that you are both happy. Of course they will be upset. that's only natural.Tell them you are counting on thier support.
And good luck. You will be fine.

Answer 4

first of all, being worried and stressed is only harming the baby.. sooner or later you will have to tell them.. tell them now so that you can enjoy your pregnancy.. do you and your boyfriend plan on getting married?? if so, then maybe get married asap then tell them the news or tell them your getting married at the same time tell them your pregnant..
i can imagine you being scared.. but what's done is done.. so just enjoy it..
oh and make sure your boyfriend is there with you when you break the news.

Answer 5

Hi well I was 19yrs old when I got prenate I turned 20 shortly after my daughter was born! some of my family is really religious and honestly alot of my family was not to happy about me being prenate and they gave in after seeing her pretty face!..so just tell them and get it out of the way cause if you wait i think they will be more mad! just dont stress about it! its bad for you! Take care and the best of luck! I hope you have as much fun as i did! Its amazing!

Answer 6

Give your grandparents time to get over the shock.

Answer 7

well my boyfriends mum wasnt impressed when i told her i was pregnant the frist time. just tell them they will get over it when they hold the baby for the first time.