I'm wondering how many people think it's wrong to have a baby before marraige.
My fiance and I (engaged b4 i got pregnant, although it does not matter to me) are expecting a baby around early July. We are both thrilled about this pregnancy and have all the intentions in the world to raise a wonderful child together. We will not be married until July of 2008 which is when we have always planned on getting married. This pregnancy wasnt exactly planned but its not unwanted. We basically had the attitude if it happens sooner rather than later, great.
Does anyone beleive it truly matters that we are not going to be married? This child will not be loved any less by us or our families (who are also thrilled by my pregnancy) I'm just looking for opinions on the subject. If its something you don't agree with, please just say so, I do not want to here that my child will be a ******* or anything negative like that
Thanks :)
2006-12-20 08:24:00 · 15 answers · asked by nicoles1504 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I think thats fine. Just so long your baby is loved and raised in a good loving home, I dont think it matters if your married or not. You will be a great mom and your baby will be fine. I wish you all the luck in the would ans I hope you have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!
2006-12-20 08:29:06 · answer #1 · answered by kristin h 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I waited until I was married, but that was just my preference. I was raised by parents who were married and still are, so I just naturally followed the way I was brought up. My husband's parents however weren't married when he was born, but married afterwards and went on to have 3 girls after my husband. They were married until a few years ago when they got divorced. I think to most people it is probably a moral issue, whether they agree with it or not, but since you are already pregnant and the 2 of you seem to be committed to each other, I don't think you will have any problems at all. Who knows the baby may bring you closer together than you ever imagined (they have a way of doing that **smile**)
I hope everything turns out for you 2 the way you have planned. You sound like you have good head on your shoulders.
Congrats on the baby by the way :)
2006-12-20 16:30:08 · answer #2 · answered by Mommy of 2 Boys 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it matters if you are married or not. I got pregnant b4 i was engaged to my current fiance, we never planned on getting married even when we were trying to get pregnant. We didn't decide to get married until my son was almost a year old and I got to thinking about when he started school that we wouldn't have the same last name. and because my fiance is black and i am white people at the doctors office, daycare and things like that would ask if i was his babysitter because my last name is different than his. But i think that if you love your child and have a good relationship with the babys father that is all that matters.
2006-12-20 16:37:10 · answer #3 · answered by rose_calhoun23 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a very personal decision that only the two of you can make.
Is there the possibility of problems from other people? Always.
Is it likely you will run into alot of issues? Not as many as you would say 10 years ago, society has changed alot.
Whatever decision you make all that matters is you raise your child in a loving and supportive home where the mom and dad work together for the best interest of their child(ren). Good Luck!
2006-12-20 17:15:45 · answer #4 · answered by E W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel that it's nobody's business but yours how you interweave legally sanctioned marriage and parenthood. Those you run into who are shocked and appalled are those who seem to take great pride in following old traditions as if that ever made a difference. Maybe it makes them feel safe and secure in such rigid, one dimensional thinking. That's not to say I think anyone with a pulse ought to get pregnant or that those who are married must necessarily have children - just that committment to forging strong loving relationships is necessary. Whatever that looks like is up to you. As long as nobody is getting hurt, who cares what anyone else thinks? Think about it - if getting married before having children was always and necessarily correct, there wouldn't be such family breakdowns now, would there?
2006-12-20 16:32:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
first of all congrats on both the engagement and the baby. i was in the same situation as you were. i got engaged on dec. 24 of 2003. came up pregnant in april and got married in june 2004. we wanted to get married asap but we were going to wait until my mom and dad had enough money to send us to jamacia to get married but as soon as i found out we were prego my husband and i decided to settle for a small wedding in his mothers backyard because we both wanted to be married when the baby was born. i think it is you and your spouses own personal choice wheather or not to get married at the already set date or to move it for before the baby gets here. you both already had intentions on getting married anyways. i say keep the date you have unless you both feel your are ready AND want to be married before the baby is born.
i wouldnt trade my decision for anything in the world.
good luck with whatever you decide. and if anyone trys to say anything negative about your baby, just keep this in mind.... it is better to not be married than it is to marry the wrong one. :D because then you and your child will have to be torn away from someone else.
2006-12-20 16:44:29 · answer #6 · answered by merwin5236 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your careing to much about what other people will think, Its fine its not big deal, and you are getting married, you child will prob not even know unless you tell him. Its no big deal! who cares what everyone else thinks. I give you props, b/c lots of people feel abortion is the answer, and would have done that in your situation. Hope this helps! Congrats on the new baby!!!
2006-12-20 16:33:33 · answer #7 · answered by *STAR* 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not really - it doesn't seem to be as taboo as it was 20 or 30 years ago. The baby seems like it has two parents that will love and care for it. Damn what anyone else says.
2006-12-20 16:33:08 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Of course you do NOT have to be married to have a baby.
Why would you want to have morning sickness on your wedding day or honeymoon? Just wait and enjoy each event to its fullest.
Congratulations on both your engagement and your pregnancy!
2006-12-20 16:31:04 · answer #9 · answered by Chloe 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
thats what my fionce and i are doing having a baby and thn getting married in 2008 also. its your life an in the end your going to be married and it doesnt matter what enyone else thinks. as long as you guys love eachother it doesnt matter. merry christmas and good luck
2006-12-20 16:29:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋