hi i am an exchange student and i live in a house with a nice family and i am leaving soon anyways, but the nana never makes my bed, serves me, cleans my room(she´s supposed to)and constantly yells at me...i will be sitting watching a video on the computer and she will come in and turn on the tv and yell at me and yells at me for everything..and is always telling me to buy her stuff and to do her work for her and will insult me a lot...although i know what she says is obviously not true (like she tells me i´m fat and stuff)
she is a grown adult and will throw tantrums and sometimes ignore me for no reason
help?
should i stilll give her a christmas present?
thanks
xao:D
2006-12-20 08:23:56 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
sorry by nanny i meant maid
she's a paid maid who doesn't do her job and i am hosted by the family so i haven't the ability to hire and fire. and yeah, i help her out all the time...but why does she have to yell and **** at me? and she's getting paid? i'm just a kind person. :P
2006-12-22 07:10:49 · update #1
this is in answer to the last question
i am 16
the maid is like 26 she isn't a grandmother
1.in the us i make my own bed, cook, and clean the house
2. in many countries it isn't ones own responsibility and in the us i do do that.
3. course i am a little messy
the lady is a maid...and i am serving her for basically free
4i pay for all my **** like my snacks and clothes, shampoos etc.
5. when an adult tells me to do some chores i do it. i don't ignore them i do more than my share and i always use please and thank you.
also, the family does less than they were supposed to anyways...and i constantly am buying **** for the people to show my appreciation.
ps: i don't believe in forgiveness through or under any god. there are some things and some people who just don't deserve forgiveness.
but thanks for the answer although i should have been more clear when i was asking my question from the start.
2006-12-22 07:19:46 · update #2
as you are an exchange student, you must report this outrageous behavior of host family to your sponsoring organization or college. they must know what abuse you have received, will evaluate it, will most likely deem the family unfit to house future exchange students. You can give her a Christmas present, or not, its really up to you.
2006-12-20 08:47:10 · answer #1 · answered by the Bruja is back 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The real question is how old are you.
How old is Nana?
Is she a grandmother and you are too self indulged to help her with taking care of you?
1. If you're under 8, then maybe making your own bed could be too much work for you.
2. Cleaning your room in many countries is your own responsibiltiy especially because you don't want others going through your personal belongings.
3. Are you a little messy? Are you a lot messy? It sounds it.
Where did you ever get the attitude "SERVES ME"? A nanny is not your slave. In American we got rid of slavery a few hundred years ago.
4. I believe she tells you to carry your own weight and pay for part of the groceries that you eat and drink, and part of the other soap, shampoo, toilet paper, and other things you consume as a temporary member of their household.
5. What do you do when an adult tells you to do something like work or chores? Do you ignore them? Do you answer politely, go and do your share of the work?
Or do you just sit there and do nothing.
I believe you owe a debt of gratitude for that family taking you in. You have an international experience.
They owed you nothing.
From what you say, you gave very little, and expected, no demanded service. You are mistaken that anyone needs to make your bed or clean you room except your own mother at home. If she does that for you and you're over 10, then perhaps you like having your mother as a slave.
If this is too hard to understand or take, then perhaps you need to call home soon, and talk to your parents about your expectations and how this nice family let you down.
I think there's more selfishness on your part, and you are pushing Nana's and everyone in that house's buttons. I think the others just stay out of your way, because that's what you're used to. Perhaps you never knew how to say please and thank you.
Room & Board in American in a good neighborhood is about $1,000 per month, plus expenses. Just ask the kids at college and see what their dorm room costs, plus their food, and washing of clothes and transportation.
When you've repaid them for about $12,000, then I guess you don't owe them a Christmas Present.
I don't think my Jesus would want you to trouble yourself in getting them a present.
My Jesus believes in forgiveness. I forgive you for being a foolish child, and destroying your own happiness by being lazy.
Yup, I think you're just plain old lazy. No one has to serve you - and I'll bet that family never signed a contract for that one. What were you thinking?
GOD bless us one and all, always.
2006-12-20 17:02:22 · answer #2 · answered by May I help You? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well I think you are both wrong in a way. I don't think you should expect her to make your bed or clean your room BUT, if you live with her then yes, she should cook for you. However, she sounds like she is pretty mean. I don't understand why she is always yelling and putting you down. The right thing to do would be to get her a Christmas present but since she is so mean, it would make sense if you didn't want to.
2006-12-20 16:43:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The best thing to do is to report her. You are a human and deserve to be treated like one. That woman has no respect for herself at all.
I'll tell you what you are not those things she has called you and you do not own those things she has called you, even better than that you do not own her problems that she is having with you, she does and let her have them.
About that Christmas present? It were me I wouldn't bother, and I would let her scream until the cows came home, that's my bad side. Now my good side says to be wise and get her a little trinket, only if you have to. You don't have to, don't bother.
Still it would not hurt you to be a little self sufficient and by all means you do not have to do her work for her tell her to do her own damned work.
Still on top of the list is report her and do it quick, I'm surprised you haven't done it yet.
Well, the best of luck to you.
2006-12-20 16:56:54 · answer #4 · answered by Laela (Layla) 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Perhaps she is taking her frustration for the rest of the family out on you because she knows you are leaving soon and they aren't. Let her "Vent" on you and get her a modest gift with a note that says you are glad to have been able to help her. She will know what that means. If she is just a mean person maybe the gift and note will make her take a look at herself. Good Luck, happy holidays.
2006-12-20 16:35:33 · answer #5 · answered by tpbthigb 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you expect her to do your bed and clean after ou?? come on! you're asking for too much you should be greatful that she took you in and is helping you. YES!! you should give her a X-mas gift as a show of your appreciation.
2006-12-20 16:33:16 · answer #6 · answered by Cheesy Stuff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a mean, mean woman. Anyway, it really is up to you. I would get her a tiny present, but something she can use, that way she can't complain about it. But if you feel you shouldn't get a present for her, expect more yelling. It is really up to you and how you feel she would react.
Happy Holidays! :)
2006-12-20 16:32:28 · answer #7 · answered by Haloangel1400 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yas.she bully's you cuzu r better than her. ???????????????????????????????????
2006-12-20 16:33:46 · answer #8 · answered by Alexa The Princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋