My husband is hungarian & i am english, we have many differences in our lives. My husband likes to go to church twice a year, once at easter and once on christmas eve, for the 3 years we have been married, i have been faithfully going to the catholic church with him on these occasions but i am not a church goer and i don't want to go.
I told him this on a few occasions and his response is, i should respect his culture, we are married, incidentally he has been married before & his first wife used to go along to the church willingly, i really don't want to go but feel compelled to go as i don't want to upset him esp on these special occasions.
I am asking you people whether i should continue to do this, or whether i should be firm and not go.
I am not a catholic but even so, if the church was my church i STILL wouldn't want to go.
Your views would be appreciated.
2006-12-20 08:20:22 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks everyone for your answers, i guess it answered my question in no uncertain terms lol
2006-12-20 10:44:09 · update #1
Geeeshhhh!!!!
2006-12-20 08:24:00 · answer #1 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's THIS important to him, go. When you're married to someone, often you should do things you wouldn't otherwise be doing - simply out of respect for your spouse. If he demanded you actually *believed* in what he believes - this would be an impossible request to fulfill. But all he's asking you is go along with him twice a year; this isn't that much to ask.
If you find it THIS offensive to go to church, then you're married to the wrong man. I am NOT a churchgoer myself - I was born and raised a non-believer, and remain such to this day. My husband is a non-believer as well - but his mother is Catholic, so it's a big deal for the whole family to go to church on Christmas. I go with them - even though I find the whole thing quite distasteful. Now, my husband, knowing how I feel about the whole church issue, told me I didn't have to go with them; perhaps, this year I will stay home. But if he requested that I went, I would not disrespect him by arguing.
2006-12-20 16:34:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's two days a year for like 3 hours each day. It doesn't seem like it would be such a horrible burden on you to go if it's a whopping six hours out of the year. Enjoy the pretty music and make your husband happy.
As long as he's not using it to try and convert you, and rather because it's important to him to share it with you, I think you're putting too much energy into resenting it.
And this is coming from someone who isn't even a Christian.
2006-12-20 16:40:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is about compromise. Aren't there things he does for you that aren't natural to him?
Of course, you could always point out to him that he's a pretty poor Catholic if he only goes to Mass twice a year--he's skipping a ton of other Holy Days of Obligation! Or, you could just be grateful that he doesn't drag you along to all those additional services.
2006-12-20 16:26:19 · answer #4 · answered by Iris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you go with him before you were married? If so, you set a precedent and should keep to it. Otherwise I would suggest talking with him more about your desire not to go. This might cause a bit of friction, but he should be reasonable for those few hours a year, but then again....
How about compromising and go to one or the other and alternate every year?
2006-12-20 16:26:27 · answer #5 · answered by boredperv 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see in your memo that he is required to go to your church much less believe in what you believe because in case he has forgotten, marriage is also about respecting each others belief. Religion is not a big deal for marriages to go sour over.
2006-12-20 16:49:37 · answer #6 · answered by tagara 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its only twice a year, whats the big deal, he is right you should respect the culture. There are something you just do out of love and respect even if you don't believe in it just because you love your spouse.
2006-12-20 16:37:16 · answer #7 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it is only twice a year and makes him happy, do it!! it is only a few hours out of a year that he would like you to go with him. a marriage is a give and take. my husband does things for me that i know he doesn't want to and vice versa. good luck!
2006-12-20 16:27:56 · answer #8 · answered by Carrie H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it makes him happy and its just 2 times a year and you love him then ??? its not like he wants you to go every Sunday be glad for that and just go.
2006-12-20 16:40:56 · answer #9 · answered by teadropsue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go with him to avoid a fight
2006-12-20 16:32:37 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋