I am one of those overly nice people. Even when I have a justified reason to be mad about something I supress it because I don't want to be mean. But I have reached my limit. I am the only person in my household who works for a living, while my husband is the caregiver of the family and my brother is temperorarily staying with us and job hunting. My gripe is if I am earning the bacon so to speak then why is so unreasonable that they keep up the house. I come home to a dirty house every day and it is infuriating. I have nagged and nagged and finally said to hell with it and did it myself and then it isn't maintained so a week later it is a wreck again. How can I get it through my guys heads that they have to do this, especially since we have a little boy. I don't know how to make them do it and I am getting to the point that I am just going to blow up at them.
2006-12-20 08:17:14 · 14 answers · asked by pinkyduh1377 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is always a hard one.
We generally keep a pretty clean house but there are areas I don't "do".
They usually get done if my mother-in-law is coming for a visit. Is that a possibility?
Another idea is to just "make" them come. By that I mean if dinner is done and they start to take off gently call them back and ask are you washing, drying or putting away? make it a team effort with your son as well so he learns. Don't let the question be are you going to do chores or not, make it which chore are you going to do. If you make it seem like you are enlisting their aid in helping your son learn to do these tasks, rather than getting on them for not, you should get somewhere.
Same for laundry. Are you washing, folding or putting away.
Same for cleaning ... are you cleaning the bathroom, the living room or the family room....
try to make a game out of it without being overly patronizing.
yes, you are doing all the work and you are going to end up doing chores, but if you do it that way you can usually find a way to get the chore which is least awful to you and you get some family time. play "I spy" with them (for your son's sake) or play 20 questions or some other game (which of course, you are playing so your son is learning good habits).
my guys (13, 17 and 45) are much better now at sharing. they grumble, but we have towel fights and discussions, etc...
best,
cez
2006-12-20 08:32:04 · answer #1 · answered by cezzium 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try something involving fire, red meat, sports and red meat!
Honestly, nagging will not work. They'll just hold that against you. They probably don't even think the house is half as messy as you do.
Try coming up with a list of chores and when they are to be done. Get your husband on board with the idea first or he'll resist that, too. In fact, try to steer the conversation so that it's his idea.
2006-12-20 16:22:52 · answer #2 · answered by MithrilHawk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop buying groceries and the other things the guys like to have. Hell even don't pay the utility bills and let them cut the lights or water off for a night, make sure you have some place to go for the night and I think they will see the light, so to speak.
You don't have to rub in their face that you pay the bills, but they just know that even if they don't bring home the bacon, they can't be pigs
2006-12-20 16:21:28 · answer #3 · answered by Jumper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First pack a suitcase with things for 2 day stay and then go to work, call home and ask if the house is clean, if not, Check into a hotel or motel after work, call home ask if the house is clean, according to the answer; go home or go out to a nice dinner, call home, ask if the house is clean yet, according to the answer, either go home or go to a happy movie, call home ask if the house is clean, if not go back to the motel and go to bed, go to work the next day and do the same thing that night. If this does not do the trick you are stuck with cleaning up after everyone, or move out!
2006-12-20 16:25:28 · answer #4 · answered by Faerie loue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell those slobs to pick up after themselves. Find a room to be your clean sanctuary and put a lock on it. Hang out in there when you want a clean house to relax in. Refuse to clean anything else. If the kitchen is becoming a rat's nest order yourself dinner every night.
They will eventually catch on.
2006-12-20 16:19:26 · answer #5 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There has to be consequences. I never say cut a guy off but you can make your point that your not in the mood in a dirty house.
Most guys would get to cleaning pretty quick.
The brother needs to be informed that if hes living there free to pull his weight. Assign reasonable chores. If he refuses give him a move out date-sorry tough love!.
Stick to your guns-Good Luck
2006-12-20 16:21:30 · answer #6 · answered by Duane Allman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BLOW UP AT THEM! That will DEF get their attention. OF coarse they arent picking up... they have you! Once you stop doing it and BLOW UP on them.... They will get the hint, or you tell them to MOVE OUT!
2006-12-20 16:19:06 · answer #7 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give it up. We are not changing our ways, sorry. It's like us telling your kind to stop nagging you know.
2006-12-20 16:20:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy motivation through HEAD
2006-12-20 16:19:14 · answer #9 · answered by Todd C 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would just blow up at them. Surpressing your feelings isn't good for you.
2006-12-20 16:21:30 · answer #10 · answered by The girl next door 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋