Best friend or Best sex?
2006-12-20 07:57:53 · 15 answers · asked by January Flower 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes I catch your drift April, and no I'm not too young to understand! Thx a lot!
2006-12-20 08:59:12 · update #1
What do you prefer? But i am a woman and even i will say being sexually compatible is very, very important, and so is being best friends..I have been with my husband for 9 years we have sex 3-5 times a week and it is still hot! We also have kids, work, and go to school, but make time for eachother...On top of that we are best friends we love being w/ eachother, we cant wait to see eachother at the end of the day. We work out w/ eachother, we go for walks, we shop together, eventhough he dont want to go shopping, but he will, because it makes me happy, i watch ft.ball w/ him, i really dont want to but i do b'cause it makes him happy..if it is love it all falls into place together...People get too comfy in their marriages and feel, they dont have to try anymore because they got their spouse now, well thats bull s*** because that is why they end up being in a boring loveless marriage, then end up staying together out of convenience. .. Good sex w/ your spouse is just one more way of showing how close and passionate you are for eachother..and when you can sit there and tell him everything about you even the most embarassing things, and he doesnt make you feel insecure or stupid, what better friend can you ask for?
2006-12-20 09:14:22 · answer #1 · answered by laci 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We should teach this one in school.
I don't answer a ton of these, so since I have 20 minutes between now and the next step in the work I do at home, I'll answer yours..... If it is too much or you are too young to understand, I apologize in advance....
Successful marriages usually occur when two people enter into it with real committment to the other. And that occurs when they share a common background, and have common goals, and they know each other well. (Arranged marriages in some cultures actually work quite well.... we don't do that here much in the US.) Successful marriages have Respect, Admiration, Passion and Trust, and subsets of any of these include lots of giving, sharing, encouragement, agreement on how extra money and time should be spent, solving problems without rage, outside interests, tolerance, and at times, knowing when to "shut the hell up". Recently one researcher published a paper ---he spent 30 years with 30,000 couples and found that the marriages that succeeded were the ones that for every negative comment one had to make, 6 positive ones were made. The success rate of the marriage dropped as this ratio changed for the worse. The only consistent real deal-buster in these four listed above is betrayal -- an affair..... The trust is gone, and the other three just die slowly, or blow up in the other's face. Sex, is only part of marriage------ important, but it will survive without... sex is not the deal-buster....resentment and betrayal are.
Helpful? or too confusing?
2006-12-20 16:46:07 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Neither exactly.
If I love who I am when I'm with him, if I feel validated, warm, secure, safe, respected, listened to and "seen" then he might be marriage material. If in addition to all of that he is also caring and takes things slow then I can be reasonable sure he will be fine in the bedroom so why do I have to choose between? I wanted both (and pretty much got em).
A friend can always turn into a lover, but a lover may not always be able to become a friend.
2006-12-20 16:51:02 · answer #3 · answered by outdone 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A combination... Although if your relationship is strong, and you are best friends, then the good sex should happen with that. You know, if it's the right person, and you understand eachother so well, then you learn what eachother needs in all areas.
2006-12-20 16:28:36 · answer #4 · answered by Emily :) 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all i'd look for a best friend, cause the sex will fade after the years but the best friend will always be there when everything else has gone away
2006-12-20 16:05:56 · answer #5 · answered by angeleyes3535 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My wife is my best friend in everything we do. We call each other several times a day, plan weekends, go to movies together, eat popcorn and M&M's. We have been married 32 years. The key is we put God first in our lives
2006-12-20 16:03:33 · answer #6 · answered by white dove 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I looked for best sex and that has failed. Im going for best friend for the win. waisted alot of years.
2006-12-20 16:14:28 · answer #7 · answered by liddycaliente 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
BEST FRIEND. You want someone whose always there for you when you need them, no matter whats the situations. You dont want your spouse to only be there to have sex
2006-12-20 16:01:18 · answer #8 · answered by karrybaby 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You look for someone you cant live without.Love isnt about finding the perfect person,Its about seeing a imperfect person perfectly.Love is when you can't put into words how you feel.Your gonna want someone you can completly trust and feel completly comfortable with.
2006-12-20 16:08:35 · answer #9 · answered by elain 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Quality of character.
Is he essentially a happy person? Are we able to talk our problems out? How does he get along with other people? How does he spend his time?
2006-12-20 16:02:05 · answer #10 · answered by Claire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋