Help! I want to get away from my dad!?

Question

My parents just split up. I´m 14, and I´m visiting my dad for one week. We´re staying at my granmother´s house. I did not want to come on this trip, and from the first day I got here I started to hate my grandma and my dad because they are so rude to me. My Dad was so cruel to my mom before the divorce and I can´t seem to forgive him for it. Then two nights ago my dad got drunk (he usually gets drunk) and we had a huge fight. He included things like ´your brother is going to stay with me´and ýou can go whenever you like´. (By the way, my mom has full custody.)I would have gone already if it wásn´t for my little brother. If I take a plane trip without him, I´m afraid he won´t come back on his own beause he loves my dad, or my dad will kidnap him. I´m also afraid that if we both go before x-mas, my grandmother will get so upset, she will never speak to us again. I´m calling my mom three times a day to let her know what´s happening. I want to get away so badly! What do I do????

Thanks everybody for answering. I think I´m going to sit out the week unless my dad gets violent (he hasn´t before, but my mom was afraid of it.) Thanks again for all the positive answers.
By the way, it isn´t so easy to `take my brother and leave´. First of all, he´s 12. Second, he worships my dad. And third of all, my dad wouldn´t let him.
Please keep answering. The idea of talking to my dad is a new one, but I don´t quite know how to start. . .

Answer 1

take your brother and leave, pretty obvious your dads a dick, i drink everyday but not to get drunk, more to relax, only 2or3 at a time..

Answer 2

Oh, I'm so sorry, if you dare, and it would be scary and hard, you can talk to the courts, and or DCFS about all of this, and they may protect you and yur brother. It's so sad when people get stuck in these situations, I was in a similar one and didn't know what to do then. After you get home you can probably choose, your old enough the courts may allow it, but that doesn't effect your brother. Talking to the courts or DCFS(division of child and family services) sometimes called different things. Even though your a teen, you are in the age that they will help you. Sometimes it is better to have someone not talk to you again, but that isn't an easy desition, and something you want to be sure about. You are really brave, and it shows how well you think things through to have been able to think ahead of all the consiquences and things that could happen. Sounds like your pretty wise for your age. Good lck in whatever you descide, I hope you find a way to be happy.

Answer 3

Calm down for starters now.
Your Mom let u go with your dad so chill out.
Your Dad must love u to get u for christmas.
Alot of fathers do not even get their children after separation.
U got to forgive your father for his past mistakes and love him and see the positive in him.
It is Christmas, relax and think positive and help your dad and grandma out instead of callin ma every second.
Just go with the flow and have a good time and u and your brother will go home with ma after the holidays .
Life is too short to get so upset and u will be grownup before u know it and look back and laugh at all this.

Answer 4

Hello Dear,

Legally, we need to be clear on the custody issue.

If your mom has "sole custody" legally, she has the right, at your request, to remove you and your brother from your grandmother's house.

To ease the situation, I recommend that your mother make up an excuse, like a death on her side of the family, that requires you to come home for. In the future, it would be best if perhaps your mother doesn't allow your father to take the two of you on extended holidays.

You are old enough to refuse to go with your father. Your brother is not. You are also old enough to maintain your relationship with your Grandmother on your own, away from the influence of your father.

Call your mother right now, and tell her to make up an excuse, and then come and get the two of you right now. If she doesn't agree, tell her that you will call children services and report your father for emotional abuse, and demand that you be returned to your mother's custody. You will find children's services listed in the blue pages of any telephone directory.

Namaste,

--Tom

Answer 5

i feel for you sweetie, my parents just went through the same exact thing and we are in similar situations. please just try talking to your dad about how you feel - just once- and if he makes you feel low about yourself or treats you badly then stay and wait it out for one week - for your brother. i know its hard but just wait out the painful week, it will be over before you know it. at least you can go back to your loving mom and never go back there unless you feel comfortable. im sorry that you have to get treated like that from your dad and grandma, but use this week to try and make ammends, if not, leave and dont look back. move on with your life with your mom, a drunken father is scarring and nothing that a child should be exposed to. good luck, and remember, its only a week!!!

Answer 6

Sounds like you have been thru alot. You can pray to God about what you are going thru, tell him your suffering; let him know how you feel; let him comfort you. He hears prayers coming from honest heart person who is seeking him.  Psalms 34:18, 19 says: "Jehovah is near to those that are broken at heart; And those who are crushed in spirit he saves.  Many are the calamities of the righteous one, But out of them all Jehovah delivers him."

God promise us what he will do in the near future for mankind. Revelation 21:4 reads: "And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away."

Be strong.

Answer 7

I understand that you're overwhelmed by all that's going on, but if you and your brother aren't "in danger", then just try to tough it out for your brother's sake. Read lots of books this week so that you can be alone and pass time. Keep telling yourself, I have to protect my little brother, and hopefully the week will get by quickly for you! Be good!

Answer 8

as tough as it is right now, realize that in 5 years you and everyone else involved in this right now will not care or even remember. Take comfort in that while its sucks right now, things will always get better and remember to love your grandmother. Grandmas are the best no matter what and if she were to leave this earth, you would feel pretty bad at how you treated her right now. Hope this helps

Answer 9

It may be tough, but you said its only for a week. Do the best you can for the week, then maybe next year, you will not have to go through the experience again. Take care of your brother!

Answer 10

Well if I where you I would just hold out, and keep your brother close to you at all times, Ignore everything he says. Sorry that you have to be in situation like this at a young age. Sorry I can't be any more of assistance.

Answer 11

Babe i went threw the same thing! the first thing is don't leave ! then he will probably take your brother( my father did that he took my little sister and my little brother!!) my mom was divested,well after a week my mom found my dad.Just keep informing your mom so you wont get home sick and just bare with it sweetie.its not for long and do it for your brother and mom.don't worry you will get over it.