he the father of my kid's. We have been through alot and he has made the comment that he would never leave me because he would feel bad because of my situation that I am in. We use to always fight. I've moved out about three times. And I've cheated on him so many times. But we are trying really hard to get along and make this work . But when do you say enough is enough? He is a really good guy and I am spoiled by him. But something is missing. What do I do???
2006-12-20 07:22:55 · 21 answers · asked by helpmom26 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
"Something" will always be missing. Figure out what's important to you, and follow your goals. When you have a job, you're missing being able to sleep in until noon every day and spend the afternoon playing computer games. When you don't have a job, you're missing the security of getting a paycheck every week, and not having to worry about your bills. When you're single, you're missing the companionship and the comfort of having someone nearby. When you're married, you're missing your independence and not having to answer to anyone but yourself. You get the point. I love my husband as a friend, and I wouldn't trade it for the most passionate love affair. The companionship and being able to rely on each other is so much more important to me than raw passion - which cannot be sustained for a very long time anyway. I've had enough passionate loves to figure out that this is not the state of mind I want to spend the rest of my life with. But for everyone, there is their own road. Figure out what things are important to you - but keep in mind that you can never have it all; you always give something up to get something else.
2006-12-20 07:31:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
If you're so spoiled, why do you cheat? If you stop cheating and looking elsewhere long enough, you might find what's already in front of you!!!!!! You might see him for the person he is and remember what attracted you to him in the first place. Sometimes you have to try to see what's been staring you in the face. Sounds to me like you're experiencing the same boredom most people feel about their marriages when the fire dims, except you're being very selfish and deceitful in dealing with your feelings. You know the saying "be a man"? Well, it's time for you to be a woman and rekindle the flame.
2006-12-20 07:35:15 · answer #2 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is missing is the part of being a man which would make him smack you around a bit and throw your butt out. That is the question here, when is enough , enough. Ask yourself why he keeps a lying, cheating woman around that has no respect for him.
You have essentially stripped him of his manhood with all the cheating and emotional abuse you are inflicting. Why would you ever want to leave. You can do whatever despicable thing you want and he takes you back. Please do not come here and complain about your riding the gravy train. It is so unseemly.
You want to know what's missing, perhaps its your love and commitment. You should be thankful every day that you are living with meek guy who should have dealt firmly with your trash long ago.
2006-12-20 08:13:22 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now you have to stop cheating and complaining. You are married for better or for worse. Marriage has its ups and downs. I have had maybe a year or two that I couldn't look back on and remember liking my wife that much. Now she or I, or both of us have changed and are getting along great, decent sex, lots of laughing, good times. If you aren't getting what you need then work on yourself and your attitude. Once the kids are out of the house you can pack up and leave if you want, however as long as the kids are still at home you owe it to the Family to get along and make the best of your unfulfilled situation.
2006-12-20 07:34:34 · answer #4 · answered by Patrick G 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No person or thing can make us happy. Happiness comes from within. What you are missing is your own strength of character/confidence in your actions. You are searching something that only you can bring out in yourself and you are blaming your husband for your own short comings.
What can you do?
Make a decision that you know deep down is right and stick to it. Then make another decision and another and another. You are the summation of all your decision both good and bad. I think its time you start improving who you are by making more good ones and being strong enough not to back down. In the end you may have a marriage or you may not, but you will be more complete and a happier person because you will be in charge of your life.
2006-12-20 07:44:11 · answer #5 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My god you certainly don't deserve him.
Once again it's this whole rather idiotic idea of "i love him, but i'm not *in* love with him." This is a stupid stupid idea and you have to stop believing it at once. You either love someone or you do not love someone. There is no "love you like a friend" category in marriage!
You have cheated on him numerous times. This tells us two things: you are a selfish whore who does what she wants and the harm to others be d*mned, and you have no respect for him or yur vows.
I would tell him he deserves far better, because it is true, and get the HELL out of his life for good. I don't really care to hear your sob story. You are an awful person and I've never said that here before.
2006-12-20 07:38:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for the guy. Does he have the lowest asteem ever? You do have kids, so I would negotiate an open relationship with a veto dating system so that neither of you get hurt. Keep your kids ignorant of the whole situation because it is an unrealistic marriage setup and the kids may grow up thinking that they could do it and get away with it. There is no reason for you to be unhappy. Go to college and get job ready so that you do not get trapped by a man again. Just remember that both of you deserve better, but your kids deserve the best. (At least till they're twenty, then show 'em the door.)
God bless and good luck
2006-12-20 07:31:13 · answer #7 · answered by boozer 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all you don't cheat on the one you love. What are you thinking? How can you do that and live with yourself? It sounds like the marriage is going to hell in a bucket! Stop the cheating first that's the main thing.!! Then talk it out with your husband. If you can't be faithful get out of the marriage ASAP. He don't need this BS. I'm sorry if you love someone you don't hurt him in that way. Do him a favor and file for divorce ASAP!
2006-12-20 07:56:46 · answer #8 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have answered your own question, "He is a really good guy and I am spoiled by him". Or you want some guy to kick you in the *** and slap you in the face each time you do something he does not like, then go for it. One aspect of marriage is friendship, which is as important as sex in a marriage. Your spouse is your best friends, because you spend almost every minute of your life with them. Someone you trust in, someone you can count on, someone to share a laughter with, someone to shed a tear with, someone who listens to you, someone on whose shoulder you can rest your troubles on. If you have all or most of the above then you will not think about leaving.
2006-12-20 07:48:09 · answer #9 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guess what? Love changes. If you are still chasing after a "crush" and romantic love and hot sex after about the first two years of marriage you are "missing" the point. Grow up girl and enjoy this man.
2006-12-20 07:35:07 · answer #10 · answered by kramerdnewf 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋