I had a baby and now after a while we have decided to get married. We both work, so "playtime" winds up becoming the second job, not to mention the kid. I am not really that confident in my shape now, being that I not as toned anymore. We have sex it's still good but its not like it used to be. The foreplay went to hell in a handbasket. I miss the dirty talk and neck kisses. We just get so tired from work and then we the baby goes to sleep, we are tryin to get some sleep in too. How do I make this better? No religious answers please. God doesn't have sex with me, my husband does.
2006-12-20 07:21:44 · 13 answers · asked by Tabitha B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's hard and it will be harder...But every now and then both of you need to take breaks...From work and the baby...Ask for a day off from work and have somone babysit...Go on a date, go home and make sweet love again ...
2006-12-20 07:25:24 · answer #1 · answered by ?Whiskey Girl? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes a while to get your body back in shape after a baby.Try a girdle and some exercises that you can do at home before bed or before work.Try getting baby on a schedule.If your baby is under 1 try getting him or her to bed by 530 or 6 no later than 7.Try doing thing during the day at work call your husband's cell from your car and do sex talk there.or send me a text message.Try taking baths or showers together that will help with foreplay and relaxing and at the same time you are spending quality time together.Victoria Secrets make cute clothes that hide some of the baby fat that you may still have.Also try at least once every 2 weeks leaving baby with a sitter to spend quality time together. Maybe play hooky at work or lunch sex.Who says sex has to be only at night.
2006-12-20 15:48:28 · answer #2 · answered by babygirl4300 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel with you!! Foreplay...what's that??
Things have gotten much better for us now that our kids are older and we even have times when we are totally alone (which I never thought would happen again). When we were where you are now, we had to set aside time. We went away to a hotel 2 -3 times a year. You would be absolutely amazed at what this can do for you. There is just something about getting out of the normal routine and place. I remember one time we just went to the hotel in our little city (where everyone knows everyone) and spent the night. And wouldn't you know it, the fire alarm went off at 2 am and we had to evacuate the hotel. I work for the city & most of the firemen know me, so I hid behind one of the pillars in front of the hotel. That was fun!!
We still do that, just got back from a trip last week. The aftermath can last for months. Highly recommended by me!
Hang in there...and good luck
2006-12-20 16:00:56 · answer #3 · answered by Jane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It took monthes for us to get back to normal sex. After the breast feeding it took another 3 months. You have to get a babysitter and spend the night with the husband like you were dating. There is no way that you relax for some great sex, dirty talk and nasty deeds and all, with the child in the other room. You spend half the time listening for the baby. Date nights are great and men don't care if you are in perfect shape, that is a woman thing. He just wants that sexy nasty dirty mouthed woman back. First night is lots of sleep,,,,, then the next morning and the next day, WOW.
2006-12-20 15:44:52 · answer #4 · answered by Patrick G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes a while to balance everything, but here are a few hints. DON'T be a mother 24/7. You are still a woman and he is still a man. You two were lover, REMEMBER that. The child will grow up and live his/her own life someday. Your husband will be with you for life if you do it right. Sex is adult play time, but any sort of play time is good with your husband. Simple game of checkers will bring you together to compete against each other. Face it great sex is when you both want to out do the other person. Get competitive.
2006-12-20 15:49:25 · answer #5 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first step to solving this is for the 2of you to have a sit down and lay out, pardon the pun, everything that each of you thinks is or could become a problem.
Your insecurities about your figure are natural and you are the only one that can change it.
Most people will give up sex for sleep, so you can also do come serious cuddling while in bed, alot of times this helps you two become closer than sex does.
If you're really off the hook horny, start playing with yourself in front of him and it won'tbe long before the passion is steaming the windows all over the house!
2006-12-20 15:26:39 · answer #6 · answered by koleebear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the right intentions, so this should not be hard. First you need to get back into fighting shape so you can feel better about yourself. Join a gym and workout, spin, aerobics, whatever. Tell hubby he needs to watch the kids so you can get back into serious love making shape. Not only will he watch the kids for you, giving you more energy, he will get horny doing it knowing that you are getting in shape to be able to have more sex. Plan dates with him and NO KIDS. Get a sitter. Even better have grandma watch the kids for an over nighter at a hotel. Date again, dress sexy, show off that new improved sexy body, and all that passion will come back.
2006-12-20 15:28:21 · answer #7 · answered by javelin 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Darling, you both must take advantage of the seconds and moments during your time together to hug, nuzzle, etc. The passion can be constant. Sex is the result of passion. If the foreplay is constant (and yes it can be constant, I have nuzzled my wife's neck while she changed my son and she has teased me while I changed him) you will have more satisfying love making. Dirty talk?...again, try it at times not in the moment. I wish you the best. P.S. God wants you to enjoy your marriage regardless of what some opinions may be.
2006-12-20 15:36:27 · answer #8 · answered by deeply interested 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to leave your baby with someone else! Get him to sleep early! Do you have an extra bedroom in your house, or even the living room.
Make that your "sex/love-making room". The place where you have no insecurities, and everything goes! Buy some sexy lingerie, or find some sexy literature you can read.
The best thing is to MAKE TIME!!!
2006-12-20 16:21:36 · answer #9 · answered by Rosie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
(For sure...don't you just love those god comments??)
I don't answer many of these, but this one is easy, so I'll write to you.... all the best hon...
Hey, sweetie, buy the book listed below, and some of this author's other stuff. She is THE sex therapist in the country today. My good friend of 30 years uses her stuff in her business (she's a marriage counselor, and sex therapist, and has even written her own book!!!!). at $85.00 per hour, look how much you will save. All sorts of hints on how to respark your love, exercises to do, and all the rest of it.... cheap in paperback on Amazon.com.
Yours by Saturday.
"For You Both" by Lonnie Barbach
2006-12-20 15:27:36 · answer #10 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you get religios answers??? Its no ones business what a married couple does in their bed! God doesn't even care!
As for your problem, all I can say from experience is to give it time...it gets A LOT easier once baby is sleeping through the night....
2006-12-20 16:05:13 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋