Does any one have a good joke to end a crappy day?
2006-12-20 06:54:19 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
There was an attorney who was duck hunting. He had been out in the field all morning and hadn't shot anything. Finally, he got one but it fell to the other side of the fence. He climbed the fence and juimped over to retrieve his duck. As he was walking up to the duck, a farmer pulled up on his tractor, "Wutcha doin, boy?" he asked. "Well, I shot this duck and I am getting it to take it home."
The farmer replied,"This is my land boy and so it is my duck."
The attorney couldn't believe this guy and answered," If you don't give me my duck I will sue you and take your farm, your tractor and those steel toed boots you are wearing."
Obviously irritated the farmer said, "Boy, down here in these parts, we don't sue each other, we use the 123 method of solving our disputes."
"Well, what is that?" inquired the lawyer.
"First I kick you 3 times and then you kick me 3 times and we go back and forth until one of us gives up," said the farmer.
After a few mintues of thought the attorney agreed, afterall, court could take up a lot of time.
Farmer said, "My land, I go first."
So the farmer reared back his foot and kicked the attorney in his knee.
"OWWW!!!!!" screamed the attorney and bent over to grab his knee. As he did this the farmer kicked him in the face.... the attorney yelled in agony and stood up grabbing his nose when the farmer kicked him in the stomach. The attorney was reeling in every which way now and held his hand up as if to say Stop.
"Ok, ok ... it's my turn now!", said the lawyer.
The farmer laughed and said, "Nah, boy, just keep that duck."
2006-12-20 07:06:47 · answer #1 · answered by Kimberly B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i just heard this from a friend whos gay - he was told by a family member that in there family tree hes in the fruit section! i thought it was funny he did too lol
2006-12-20 15:11:53 · answer #2 · answered by starglowshady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AS A WOMAN PASSES HER DAUGHTER'S CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR, SHE HEARD A
STRANGE BUZZING NOISE COMING FROM WITHIN. OPENING THE DOOR, SHE OBSERVED
HER DAUGHTER GIVING HERSELF A REAL WORKOUT WITH A VIBRATOR. SHOCKED, SHE ASKED: "WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?" THE DAUGHTER REPLIED:
"MOM, I'M THIRTY-FIVE YEARS OLD, UNMARRIED, AND THIS IS ABOUT AS CLOSE AS I'LL EVER GET TO A HUSBAND. PLEASE, GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE."
THE NEXT DAY, THE GIRL'S FATHER HEARD THE SAME BUZZ COMING FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR. UPON ENTERING THE ROOM, HE
OBSERVED HIS DAUGHTER MAKING PASSIONATE LOVE TO HER VIBRATOR.
TO HIS QUERY AS TO WHAT SHE WAS DOING, THE DAUGHTER SAID: "DAD I'M THIRTY-FIVE, UNMARRIED, AND THIS IS ABOUT AS CLOSE AS I'LL EVER GET TO A HUSBAND. PLEASE, GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE."
A COUPLE DAYS LATER, THE WIFE CAME HOME FROM A SHOPPING TRIP, PLACED THE GROCERIES ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER, AND HEARD THAT BUZZING NOISE COMING FROM, OF ALL PLACES, THE LIVING ROOM. SHE ENTERED THAT AREA AND OBSERVED HER HUSBAND SITTING ON THE COUCH, SIPPING A COLD BEER, AND STARING AT THE TV.
THE VIBRATOR WAS NEXT TO HIM ON THE COUCH, BUZZING LIKE CRAZY. THE WIFE ASKED: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
THE HUSBAND REPLIED: "I'M WATCHING FOOTBALL WITH MY SON-IN-LAW."
2006-12-20 15:04:02 · answer #3 · answered by Rod Rod Go 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If a chic with big boobs works at Hooters, where does a chic with one leg work?
IHOP
2006-12-20 14:56:46 · answer #4 · answered by Angel Baby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HOW DO YOU KNOW SANATA IS A MAN???
HE SHOWS UP LATE, EATS YOUR FOOD, EMPTIES HIS SACK, COMES ONLY ONCE AND LEAVES BEFORE YOU WAKE UP!!!
2006-12-20 15:05:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋