be so angry at someone that you cannot "look" at them across a table in which you are seated because it will only make you more uncomfortable or loose your temper. BTW--Physical anger is not in the equation. We are mediating a dispute over property(business deal gone bad) and by not facing this person and looking only at the mediator it helps me stay cool and address the problem. Should the other person be worried or me or neither? Give me some truth. What would you think? Many thanks.
2006-12-20 06:45:19 · 6 answers · asked by Denny C 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It's normal. Your tactic of looking only at the mediator is good. The tricky thing for you is to try to keep in mind your priorities of what you want to get out of this and the points you are willing to negotiate to get out of this deal.
Good luck.
2006-12-20 06:48:43 · answer #1 · answered by donewiththismess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anger is perfectly normal. It is just one of the many emotions which every 'normal' person has to have. However, self control is a virtue. A person is able to control how they react to the person or circumstances which made them angry. My advice is that SILENCE IS GOLDEN. Keep your calm and don't say a word to them until sufficient time has passed for you to be able to talk in a 'mature' manner. If there is need for apologies to be given, then they may have to be given when all tempers have cooled down.
I will also suggest that you analyze the situation and try to acknowledge your contribution to the anger. You may not have been wrong but maybe your reactions to the other person's words or actions were inappropriate.
Once you accept your part of the blame, you will be in a position to reason with them (or even apologize). Do not expect the other person to behave in a mature manner as you, it is your responsibility to maintain your dignity and keep calm.
2006-12-20 07:27:02 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Kuda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
Well, as a Buddhist, I consider that all anger is inappropriate, and any method of alleviating it is worthwhile.....
So, if it is helpful to look at the mediator, or another person who is present, rather than the object of your anger, it is beneficial.
When one looks at anger objectively, one realizes that it is your enemy. Anger makes one think irrationally, and frequently in ways that are not in your best interest. Anger will not help you in any way, shape, or form. Of course, this does not mean that you should not express your opinion, even strongly when needed, to make your point.
Namaste,
--Tom
2006-12-20 06:51:20 · answer #3 · answered by glassnegman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal to be so angry at a person that you don't want to look at them or be around them. On the other hand, anger will eat you alive and slowly destroy you if you don't find a way to let it go. Be angry for a while, that's fine. But you must find a way to let it go or you will be the one hurt by it, not the other person.
2006-12-20 06:54:49 · answer #4 · answered by Venice Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends if the person who made you angry is a good reason. If he (or she) insulted you about your family or background then the other person should be worried because he didn't respect you. However if you get angry because of a small thing then I don't think that would be a reason (such as pointing out that they don't like your hat or something). If you get angry because of a misunderstanding then both of you should work it out.
2006-12-20 06:53:10 · answer #5 · answered by Plumerias are from Hawaii! 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's normal, but you might want to consider that your negative body language might hurt you in the negotiations. Try reading, "Getting to Yes" to learn more about how to negotiate for what you want: knowledge may help you to feel more powerful and more in control.
2006-12-20 15:57:54 · answer #6 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋