Question Details: I'm seriously stressed. I am in leadership at my local church and my pastor's wife has come to me with some problems. She has a genuine heart for what God wants from her, but she's got issues. Can I really be the person to lay it on the line for her and tell her where her sinful attitudes and actions are? Advice and directions are appreciated.
2006-12-20 06:43:43 · 14 answers · asked by luckyme 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well you are not a counselor. So if she has some major issues you should suggest that she contact a professional. However, if it is something that you can handle, it is just uncomfortable. You need to pray about it and then just say it. In the calmest manner possible. Tell her the truth, if she is being offensive to others, she really may not realize what she is doing or to what extent. You must simply go to her in a calm and sincere manner and tell her the truth. As a Christan women and a ministers wife, however, she is still a human being. Being human as the rest of us, she is not infallible. She should be able to handle it very well. Call her on her stuff, that is what a counselor would do. and a friend would do the same thing. Sometimes being honest is painful, however necessary. Good luck and God bless**** most important: whatever she tells you should be held in the strictest confidence and not repeated.
2006-12-20 07:26:22 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As the daughter of a pastor's wife, I know where she is coming from. It is a difficult life and not necessarily one she has chosen for herself. The pastor has the 'calling' she loves the pastor. However, pastor's wives are wondeful women and they are human. The best you can do for this woman is #1 and most important, keep everything she tells you a complete and total secret. She needs a confidant that she can spill to and not worry about repurcussions. As you know, we women mostly just need a sounding board. Let her talk, cry, scream whatever she needs to do, and then leave it all there in that place. Pastor's wives have a hard time making friends and finding those they can trust, she has chosen you, don't let her down.
Good luck!
2006-12-20 06:54:09 · answer #2 · answered by miss_fred 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't! I spent 10 years in pastoral ministry. Counseling of your pastor's wife needs to be done by her pier group. Arrange for her to speak to denominational leaders, other Pastor's wives, or a parachurch organization like Focus on the Family or a women's ministry.
2006-12-20 07:04:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she's come to you, that first and foremost means she trusts you and feels perhaps you have what it takes to guide her. Let her know you'll give her the best advice you can and do just that. On some level, you're really just being her friend more than anything.
2006-12-20 06:47:17 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Self discovery is the most important learning tool in anything....be polite and honest and keep your opinions to yourself . Just redirect conflicting questions in a positive manner.....example
if that was me I would do this....and show action.....every person has issues and sometimes in life we are fortunate enough to help to make a difference. Give ideas to misdirect to allow her to see clear without influence.....
2006-12-20 06:52:47 · answer #5 · answered by wonderiswithin 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Treat her just like anyone else.
I mean, I'm not a professional either, but I stick my nose in all over this site. If you trust your own judgement then offer her advice and forget who she's married to. That's not really important anyway.
2006-12-20 06:47:36 · answer #6 · answered by stn1225 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if she came to you for help, it sounds like she acknowledges she needs to change.
acceptance is the first step.
and if she came to you, she must trust your judgement.
if she trusts you that much it seems that shes open to suggestions and convictions.
if you want to help her, id tell her wheres she is wrong.
but make sure you also point out what shes doing good.
that way even if what shes doing is bad, it will also highlight her good points and she wont feel like youre totally putting her down.
good luck.
ill be praying for you and her.
:]
2006-12-20 06:49:23 · answer #7 · answered by Sterlinggg. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1 Corinthians 14:35 (King James Version)
"And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church."
2006-12-20 06:59:23 · answer #8 · answered by Montecar3 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I JUST TRIED TO LISTEN TO HER AND BE THERE FOR HER. SHE ALSO HAD LOTS ON HER PLATE. SHE KNEW SHE HAD A PROBLEM, BUT REALLY WASN'T READY TO FIX IT. SO I JUST GAVE HER A FEW IDEAS HERE AND THERE AND SOME OTHER PLACES TO FIND HELP. GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND HER.
2006-12-20 06:47:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not to belittle your religious faith, but she'd probably do better with secular (realistic) counseling than something couched with "god wants or doesn't want" you to do this or that.
But then...I'm not an xian and I prefer straight, non-sugar coated information and truth...and not someone's opinions based on poor mythology.
2006-12-20 06:47:27 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋