my dad divorced my mother when i was young. they only had maybe a five year marriage. my dad has since remarried and has been married to this woman longer than my mother. it seems like when i call my dad he always dumps on me about how he thinks my mother should apologize to him etc for doing what she did to him. I haven't seen my mother in 12 years. At this point I'm so tired of hearing him complain about his pain since they have both moved on. Anyways, my question I want to know is it ridiculous for me to expect him to move on and not be angry with her? thisi affects his everday life and it's been 21 years since they have divorced. it's really starting to get to me, because all of these years he has made it about him and lashed out on me since i look just like her, but he has prevented us from seeing each other when she finally did come back, but he realizes he is wrong.
2006-12-20 06:40:53 · 5 answers · asked by lookingforanswersandquestions 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I understand what your saying - best suggestion is tell dad that you would appreciate if he wouldn't dump on you about mom. Remind him that you love him but he needs to let it go and move on especially since he has remarried also.
2006-12-20 06:48:52 · answer #1 · answered by Firestorm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some pain run deep but your dad should be over it now especially since he has remarried and made a life for his self. But the problem is that he's never forgiven your mother for whatever it was he thinks she did. When he truly forgives, then he will be able to move on and stop his complaining. But unfortunately for you, you are the one that suffers. You can make the statement to him that you are not your mother and you can't change what happen and that you would like to talk about something else other that. Good luck.
2006-12-20 11:38:34 · answer #2 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If its been 21 years since they divorced he obviously isnt ready or able to let go of the past in regards to the hurt she/he caused and just may need therapy. I suggest you tell him to get off your A** if he has something to say to her then he needs to stay it to her and not to you because you had nothing to do with their choices, actions or divorce. I have a 13yr old daughter from a previous marriage we divorced when she was about 18 months old he has chosen not to be apart of her life but if at any point IF he wanted contact with her I would not prevent it. I do not talk bad about him to her or in front of her neither does anyone in my family or any of our friends that know the true reason we divorced. I am also the step mother of a 6yr old daughter and I will not allow people to bad mouth my "other" daughters biological mother either. As many faults as she has the child doesnt need to be made aware of our opinions and should be allowed to form her own.
2006-12-20 06:50:58 · answer #3 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen You are not his sounding post. He needs to keep you out of the middle reguardless of your age. He should realize that you may want a relationship with her. Tell him in a easy tone that you no longer want to hear him complaining and that the next time he calls or you call and he starts to complain that you will end the conversation and hang up. He needs to stop and realize that maybe it was for the best for all parties involved.
Sorry to hear that he is pulling you in!
2006-12-20 06:55:01 · answer #4 · answered by hey_there_heathe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs counseling, but at his age i doubt he will go. too bad, so much wasted energy. you cant do much of anything if he wants to be miserable thats his decision. just ignore it or offer some advice to see a therapist.
2006-12-20 06:51:23 · answer #5 · answered by cher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋