I am married for the second time. Me and my husband have a two year old and I have an 11 year old from my first marrage. My question is, I have christams traditions that I have been doing with my daughter for years, like I have always taken her to church for christmas eve mass and alway have had christmas morning with opening presents and stockings and then a large christmas breakfast. I have asked my in-laws if they would like to particapate for years and they say it interfears with there traditions of going to grandma's house on christmas eve and getting drunk and playing cards. We go to gradma's house but don't stay for the other activities because it is not something the kids can enjoy. Help what do I do.
2006-12-20 05:39:15 · 12 answers · asked by ohiomontana 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Also we are the only ones in his family that have children.
2006-12-20 05:47:39 · update #1
I am sorry the problem is the in-laws get very upset and make comments about me taking the kids to church on christmas eve because that is there tradition to have all family at gradma's house for the party. Also they want the kids to open all presents at that time because that is what they have always done. I think so they could sleep in on christmas morning when my husband and his sister where children.
2006-12-20 06:30:22 · update #2
I think that you and your husband should have a talk about this, I mean you both should do whats in the best interest for the children, I dont think that the children would have fun with grandma and grandpa getting drunk, just do what you feel, you can also get advice from others who deal with inlaws on this website I go to www.ihatemyinlaws.com, its not about hate, its a support group, you can see how others are dealing with the inlaws and holidays, and you can ask for advice, there are many on there who give excellent advice based on experience. good luck
2006-12-20 08:04:27 · answer #1 · answered by Summer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most important traditions are the ones that your nuclear family has decided upon. You and your husband have children and so you need to make sure that they are taken to kid friendly celebrations. If you are attending grandma's for the earlier, more kid friendly part of the evening and then leaving before the drinking etc. starts you are doing your part to accomidate your family. If they choose not to take part in the christmas morning activities then that is there loss. At least you have offered. It seems like you are doing your share to merge the two families traditions.
2006-12-20 13:53:42 · answer #2 · answered by LLL 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You and your husband have to do what feels right for you and your family. If he was the one saying that you should forgo you and your daughter's traditions for his family's, then there would be a problem but it looks like it's just you trying to figure out is how to please your in-laws...which you shouldn't really worry about too much. I think that what you are doing is perfect. You join them briefly so that grandma gets to see the kids and then go to church for mass. You could always invite your in-laws for Christmas lunch which would give you time to open presents with your kids in the morning and give them time to sober up before the come over !
2006-12-20 13:48:55 · answer #3 · answered by scorpio 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Boy, that's a tough one, since you're the only ones w/kids, no one else has the same concerns that you do. I imagine you've tried talking with everyone and finding a compromise? If that hasn't worked, maybe you can find some friends with similar values who'd like to share Christmas and then you can celebrate your family holiday on another day? I wish you a lot of luck...too bad your family isn't willing to accommodate a family with children, since kids are part of the fun of Christmas and Jesus loved the little children.
2006-12-20 13:53:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't see what the problem is here. Continue to do what you have been doing. There is no reason for you to put your family out from doing the traditional thing to apeese the in-laws. I really don't see the question here, but I would suggest you continue your family traditions. Thank you and GOD bless.
2006-12-20 13:59:22 · answer #5 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't demean, judge or criticize their traditions. Let them be who they are. Do your thing w/ the kids first and then spend the latter part of the day w/ the inlaws. Enjoy a cocktail and be cool. Some people (espeically in laws) have a unique way to getting to you...deep down in your core. Don't let them. If anything, you are the better person for accomodating both your in laws and the children.
2006-12-20 13:52:17 · answer #6 · answered by Petra 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stick to your traditions. It sounds like your splitting up your time fairly. The children should come first. Besides they'll be passing down the traditions you set. Keep it up I think you have a good thing going. Merry Christmas.
2006-12-20 13:57:53 · answer #7 · answered by autumn 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Keep doing whats best for the kids. You must not enjoy those things and dont want your kids exposed to the drinking and card playing. Express that to your husband. But dont get mad if he wants to spend time w/ his family. It's still his family whether you agree with what they do or not.
2006-12-20 13:46:07 · answer #8 · answered by daprty1 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like your doing all you can. Leaving before the booze flows is always a good idea.
Just roll your eyes before you get out of the car (say to yourself) "here we go again", and try to be as gracious a guest as you can be in their home.
Or you can come down with the flu. Thats always good for one excused absence!
2006-12-20 13:52:10 · answer #9 · answered by darrellkern 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Blow them off and start your own Christmas Eve traditions.
2006-12-20 13:45:43 · answer #10 · answered by lbuajlw 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋