Im 24 years old My wife and i are on the rocks and i am trying to save our marrage. We have 3 kids (2of them are twin babies 4 months old). She doesent know if she loves me or not because she doesent know if we vibe well. She always yells and screams about every and anything. I love her and i dont want to just end it. My plan is to just kill her with kindness and show her no negative actions what so ever. I figure if i dont give in to her yelling and screaming then she will come around and do the same as i am. We are getting help from somone right now. How do i kill her with kindness without her taking advantage of my kindness. I dont want her to think i am a pushover and she can yell and scream and i am just going to stand down.I want to let her know that the nit- picking of everything and yelling needs to stop so how do i tell her with out her blowing up or me fighting back with her. I want her to know i dont condone her actions and it needs to stop, but in a loving manner.
2006-12-20 05:26:01 · 8 answers · asked by anthony v 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get some counseling. Being a wuss and acting like that isn't the answer- you'll only encourage her to scream more because she'll see you as a wimp. Ask a therapist how to deal with this angry, irrational woman.
2006-12-20 05:29:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is and you shouldn't have to convince her to love and want to be with you....... You need to stand your ground because if you don;t then she will walk all over you no matter what...... I know you want it to work for the kids but consider if it would be better for you two to be apart or be together and let the kids see you act this way an learn this is how relationships are suppose to be......
You guys need space from one another to figure out your feelings but seems she has done did that..... Sometimes it is better to leave someone you love then stay..... I hope all works out for you guys and all goes well
2006-12-20 05:32:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, If you aren't going to continue that then don't start it! Realize you both are adults and you have children. If she doesn't know that she loves you and you all have children then what was the point of getting married! You are trying to save a lost cause...
Personally, I knew along time ago before I got married that I loved my husband it wasn't something that I had to think about or get counseling about it was just there... You love her she doesn't know if she loves you.. Something is truely wrong with that picture...
Try your best to talk to her and you possibly could winne her and dine her but don't let her push you over....
I hope that helps!
2006-12-20 05:36:29 · answer #3 · answered by danxtsupamodel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trying to avoid the issues by being extra kind and thoughtful will not resolve anything. Has she spoken with her doctor about a hormone check. Could be the post preg hormones kicking in large !!!!
You need to have a honest sit down and be truthful discussion with her. She may not realize just how out of control she has become .... explain your side of the temper tantrums and how they are affecting you.
Good Luck --- I think you are going to need it !!
2006-12-20 05:36:52 · answer #4 · answered by cdnponygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be more firm,but yet Respectfull.,and Loving.You being too kind is triggering her to take more advantage over you,and youre love for her.She's prob going through some terrible hormones right now.You dont need to fight with her when there is a issue.Sit down with her,and Explaine to her what is going on,and what you Expect from her as your wife.Be firm,loving ......Good luck!
2006-12-20 06:46:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IM ASHAMED TO SAY THIS BUT WHEN WE FIST GOT MARRIED I WAS LIKE HER MY HUSBAND IS KIND AND TENDER BUT HE GOT WERE IF I GOT LOUD OR DEMANDING HE WOULD JUST GO SOME WHERE ELESE TO CUT GRASS TAKE A SHOWER ECT ECT THEN I ASKED HIM WHY HE WASNT MAN ENOUGHT TO STICK AROUND AND HE SAID I LOVE YOU AND I RESCEPT YOU AND I WANT THE SAME FROM YOU I DONT YELL AT YOU AND YOU CANT YELL AT ME I WANT TO MAKE YOU MY QUEEN BUT I WANT TO DO IT MY WAY CAUSE YOU ARE SPECIAL I REALIZED THEN I WAS BEING JUST LIKE MY MOM AND I STOPPED IF I FILLI HAVE TO GET NASTY I GO TO MY ROOM AND PRAY FOR GOD TO HELP ME NOT SHOW THE MAN I LOVE DISRESPECT GOOD LUCK WE HAVE BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR ALMOST 29 YRS WE HAVE 3 SOS THAT ARE ALL GROWN AND WE ARE BLESSED
2006-12-20 05:42:23 · answer #6 · answered by Msdeb gee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LET HER KNOW YOU LOVE HER VERY MUCH BUT THAT YOU HATE THE WAY SHE ACTS....LET HER KNOW YOUR THE MAN OF THE HOUSE AND AROUND HERE YOU DEMAND HER TO RESPECT YOU,AND TO STOP ACTING IMMATURE AND LIKE A *****...SHOW FIRMNESS AND COTROL AND TRUST ME SHE WILL BE AMAZED......AND FALL BACK INLOVE WITH YOU AND MAYBE GIVE YOU SOME MAKEUP SEX LOL...
2006-12-20 05:35:25 · answer #7 · answered by R.J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't kill her with kindness, she may then begin to see you as P**sy, and some one who will not stand up for himself, let alone her
2006-12-20 05:33:55 · answer #8 · answered by Floss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋