Im in need for sum good laughs, I just got braces yesterday and my mouth is sooo sore, and painful
2006-12-20 05:21:00 · 10 answers · asked by deseraa 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Other - Entertainment
Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."
After a brief pause,
Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul."
"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now."
Brief Pause.
"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on
the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to
Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."
"Okay, Daddy, just a minute."
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
"I did it, Daddy."
"And what happened, honey?" he asked.
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on,
then she ran around screaming. Then she tripped over t he rug, hit her
head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"
"Oh my God! What about your Uncle Paul?"
"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared
and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. I
guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean
it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead."
**Long Pause***
**Longer Pause***
**Even Longer Pause***
Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool?............What Swimming pool? . Is this 486-5731?"
2006-12-20 07:53:31 · answer #1 · answered by mike_in_tex 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the other day I went to Walmart and some dummy had tried to get a parking spot real close and they rammed right into the shopping cart corral thinking it was a spot. the corral was standing straight up in the air and the hood of the car was crunched. quite funny actually
I wrote a blog about it!
2006-12-20 13:30:00 · answer #2 · answered by wantme_comegetme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thanksgiving Divorce:
A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving
and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your
mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says.
"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you
call your sister in Chicago and tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.
"Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this!"
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT
getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm
calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then,
don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
"Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
2006-12-20 13:31:16 · answer #3 · answered by Chic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What goes up everytime Carmen Electra walks in the room?
The STD count!!
2006-12-20 14:33:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK. What's the most common Question in a redneck Divorce Court?
Answer: "Your honor, after the divorce are we still brother and sister?"
Also:
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They have experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Also:
Language lesson for travel south of the Mason-Dixon line:
"Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
2006-12-20 14:13:10 · answer #5 · answered by Longshiren 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a "trick"(do to anyone you hate)
things needed:
-coin
-pencil
-paper
-a person you hate
instruction:
-place the coin on the paper and outline the coin(afew times)
-have an assistent(the person you hate) and tell him/her example. i learn this in the internet or something and it can make you prettier.(make something up)
-roll the coin horizontally, vertically, across her/his face
-eventually there will be a mark
the point is don't tell them...muahaha!!!
2006-12-20 14:00:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK...here it goes, I hope you get a chuckle out of this one:
KID : Mommy, mommy...why am I running around in circles?
MOMMY : Shut up...or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
Hope you feel better soon.
2006-12-20 13:30:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read the following out-loud:
I am we Todd Ed.
I am sofa king we Todd
Ed.
2006-12-20 13:26:38 · answer #8 · answered by backdoc 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
im in my undies singing opera
2006-12-20 13:29:35 · answer #9 · answered by tirebiter 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
aw aw aw aw.... sorry but I had same thing too.
2006-12-20 13:53:51 · answer #10 · answered by Julia s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋