Ive been with my partner almost four years and we have a two and a half year old son together. Our relationship has had many up's and downs but we have always remained faithful to eachother. I just dont enjoy sex. He wants it, I dont. I cant enjoy it, I think about tescos or how long it is taking. I dont like to be kissed or touched intimately and after just roll over and go to sleep feeling dirty, if I do enjoy sex something always seems to ruin it for me, he is too rough or isnt doing it properly!! He watches porn and says its the only thing stopping an affair. Im only 22! How can I make myself want him again?
2006-12-20 05:10:50 · 14 answers · asked by katyllou 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Its not down to you. Get him to take notice of you, not watch pathetic porn. Personally he sounds very inconsiderate. Try turning the tables on him and tell him that if he isn't more considerate towards you, then YOU might have an affair. Give him a taste of his own medicine.
2006-12-20 05:36:07 · answer #1 · answered by S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Therapy might help ...which is about as much good as saying 'I know how long the piece of string it.'
But I think it's important to think about Why you want it.
Your 1st responsibility is to the child you brought into the world, and hopefully that is in a stable and loving environment.
Fix it ...mend it ...use the situation to learn about your real self ~ interact with your partner, don't go to war.
Sex is important - for various reasons, but if you are simply perceiving it as something that is dirty or that 'has to be done RIGHT,' whose 'Right Way' are you choosing?
and Why?
There are few simple answers, and there can be some painful ones. But you began the ball rolling when you (as it were) entered the restaurant, took a table and began ordering food. Now you are being asked to pay the Bill.
I wish you good luck.
Sash.
2006-12-20 21:10:25 · answer #2 · answered by sashtou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the reason behind not enjoying it? Did something happen to you? His he mistreating you or abusive? If none of the above is accurate then the only thing I can think of is you just haven't became a "woman" yet. It's nothing dirty about it. If your not enjoying it just try to get to the bottom of it. He's not happy I can guarantee he's not happy and if you love someone you want them to be happy in every sense of the word. If you can afford therapy go for it. If not there are so many self help books. There's no excuse.
2006-12-20 13:19:42 · answer #3 · answered by Izzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely, get therapy. There is some reason that you do not want sex. Your partner needs therapy too. Watching porn is an insult to you. No excuses. If he would have an affair if he could not watch it then he is not worthy of your love. Dr. Phil says that if your p[artner watches porn, you should kick him to the curb. No wonder you feel badly about sex. Get help. Good luck
2006-12-20 13:20:48 · answer #4 · answered by jan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well firstly him watching porn is likely to make you feel inadequate. Secondly, does he help with your son and household stuff? You sound like you are tired and want a bit of tlc. He should be making you feel like a princess, making you tea in bed, telling you how lovely you are, taking you out. All these things will make a woman feel cherished. The sex will then come naturally.
2006-12-22 17:28:29 · answer #5 · answered by chelsea19622000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ARe you on birth control? OFTEN, BC will make your sex drive go OUT THE DOOR!!! So, If you are on BC, try switching, or get off it for good. I know I felt like this at 18 because I was On depo, and it removed my sex drive. I also wouldnt be bothered by him watching porno, its no big deal and men are visual creatures anyways, its not like he can cheat with someone in that video. Good luck to you. Hope this helps.
2006-12-20 13:14:56 · answer #6 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is the problem and you are best without him. Better for a child to have one solid parent rather than two who are ill-matched. He clearly sees you as a sexual toy and sex without respect (in a relationship) is just the beast with two backs. Maybe therapy would help him. Maybe it would help you both, but something has to change. Good luck to both of you and of course, your son.
2006-12-20 13:18:00 · answer #7 · answered by I'm Sparticus 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had this problem with my husband. I went into therapy myself cause he didn't have any issues and i readily admitted that i did.
I found therapy hard but it did the trick, i don't think i'll ever enjoy sex as he does but at least i can face it now.
Good luck
2006-12-20 13:22:06 · answer #8 · answered by sammyantha 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should seek some help, you could be suffering some kind of post natal depression. A checkup and blood tests may show up some problem that you're unaware of.
2006-12-20 14:16:27 · answer #9 · answered by F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU NEED TO EXPLAIN TO HIM HOW YOU FEEL. 22 IS VERY YOUNG TO BE OFF SEX, AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN FEELING LIKE THIS, TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF TO RELAX,HAVE A NICE LONG BATH WITH SOME SCENTED OIL IN IT BEFORE YOU GO TO BED. AND JUST CARESS EACH OTHER FOR A WHILE.IF HE IS TO ROUGH WITH YOU TELL HIM. AND SHOW HIM WHAT YOU LIKE,AFTER ALL IT'S FOR HIS BENEFIT AS WELL AS YOURS. IF ALL THIS DOSNT WORK YOU SHOULD GO AND TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR.
2006-12-20 13:20:44 · answer #10 · answered by aunty m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋