If you are highly respected in your community and you and your husband maintain an appearance of being together for the sake of your prestige. (Like you are a high ranking offical in the governent) . It has been 13 yrs that you had slept in one bed. Your husband has a mistress abroad hidden from the eyes of his constituents...then someone came along that you fell in love with. What would you do?
2006-12-20 05:08:47 · 20 answers · asked by ? 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Both are politicians and the term of service is for 6 years.
2006-12-20 05:15:22 · update #1
Being sworn to public office means serving the community for the prescribed time,, and this is the priority for the moment...the community.
2006-12-20 05:27:48 · update #2
Hello jena i read ur post 'a dilemma' and am surpised to know that u call someone ur husband even though u have not slept with him for 13 long years and i presume u have not slept with him cuz he is sleeping with a mistress about whom u know. He must also be knowing that u know about his mistress, otherwise he would have tried to exercise his conjugal rights over this long period of time. i am answering ur question on these premises.
Well you should have resolved this issue in the form of either ur man leaving his mistress or getting a divorce long time back which u have failed to do apparently on account of the public responsibilty that u hold in such high esteem. Dont u think ur very attitude towards the society for which u work and from which u command respect must be getting affected by your personal life? Can u do justice with ur public duties when ur not at peace with ur own self and ur domestic life has turned into a living hell? I would also like to ask u to ask urself the question - would the society really care if u went in for a divorce or legal separation? i am sure ur answer would be a big NO. So ur making a mountain out of a molehill by invoking this question of responsibility towards society. did the government or the society gave u the responsibilities that u shoulder on the condition that u wont be seeking a divorce or separation from ur partner? will u be breaching any trust of the society or ur employer? and finally r u really bound to carry this personal burden and suffer silently as per the conditions/requirements of ur job? if ur answer to even one of this questions is a yes, u sure have suffered justly all this while. But if ur answer to none of these questions is yes, then u have created a personal fobia of the public opinion and social responsibility.
So my personal opinion about the first part of your question is a strong recommendation of divorce/legal separation or social separation- whatever ur culture and society and ur status permist best. Dont carry this burden on account of ur employment or social responsibility.
Coming to the issue of ur love, are u sure its mutual or just one way? its often seen that when someone, especially a woman, is under such a stress, any sympathiser appears as a potential lover to the lady and she feels that a new relation with the such a person will help her overcome the problems related to the breakoff of the earlier relation. Make sure that its mutual love between both of u before u take a plunge into this second love of yours. So move a bit cautiously on this second love thing.
Good luck.
2006-12-22 03:55:43 · answer #1 · answered by Sumit 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are putting on a front for your friends and people with whom you associate. You are not being honest with anyone about your relationship and more than likely you are both being dishonest in other ways as well when it comes to things you say you do together when you really don't. Thirteen years is a long time to be miserable and to put up with a bad marriage and also to endure your spouse having an affair which you know about. There is no love in your marriage and that is clear from what you say. Is this what you want and is this the life you desire for the sake of appearances? Happiness is being comfortable and secure in your life and having fun and being a fun person to be around and loving life and looking forward to getting up in the morning every day. Changes need to be made in your life and that is obvious, don't you think? Or do you desire to continue to be miserable and unhappy the rest of your life?
2006-12-20 05:16:58 · answer #2 · answered by Lewis P 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Being selfish is not a dilemma... You must have the courage to admit & face the reality of life, irrespective of the fact that you are a public figure or not. It is ironical that you cannot manage your household and even then you pretend that this is because of your obligation to the community which respects you.
You need to walk out of this arrangement and take a decision to settle with your love...
2006-12-20 23:17:56 · answer #3 · answered by sharma.kulbhushan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my view good and bad is matter of perception. I really don't see a reason to relate ur personal life to ur profession. These two are different entities in themselves.
Sleeping in one bed for 13 years without being concerned is equally unethical to your own self. This shows u have lost ur self respect.
As I earlier told u good and bad is matter of perception. If having a mistress is bad in ur view even having someone in ur life is equally bad.
I suggest u to have an open talk with ur husband. Resolve this matter. I think its better to die once than dieing everyday and night
2006-12-20 19:10:39 · answer #4 · answered by mani money 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave the guy and go with the person you love. you cannot risk ur life for the sake of community. The community won't mistake you as long as you perform your obligations to the community properly. your personal life is a whole different issue so best thing to do is FOLLOW UR HEART!!
2006-12-20 05:43:12 · answer #5 · answered by Ice 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see how his having a mistress is a good thing.
This is an issue of gender equality. If he can have a toy, so should you.
Oh, and so much for the sanctity of your marriage. It is fine to keep up appearances if you are also benefiting from it. This would turn your marriage from a love binding to a career move.
2006-12-20 05:13:25 · answer #6 · answered by khanofali 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Id leave and follow my heart regardless of the consequences. Id never stay in a loveless marriage for any reason. Life is too short to be with someone you dont love.
2006-12-20 05:11:00 · answer #7 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What charm U have after 13 years of yr personal service...let him taste new variety...if possible U can too...Do not be fussy about it..it is part of modern life...Try to get moksha by detatchment process..earn good name by serving others..pl make life more meaningful ...Pl start a voluntary institute...
2006-12-20 14:58:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a Quick "no fault" divorce
and dive into the love you have longed for..
good luck
I stayed married way 2 long suffered abuse so kids would have father figure plz get out of your bad marriage
u will be surprised how alive u will feel once you have gotten away from him...
2006-12-20 05:13:59 · answer #9 · answered by dreamy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the husband and take the someone I fell in love with unless I was still love with my husband to hell with what people think no one lives your life but you
2006-12-20 05:13:46 · answer #10 · answered by B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋