she could not stand the way you would treat her. She felt unlved and unwanted in your country (USA). If you really loved her, would you try to show her that you have changed, that you were willing to make it work, even if she was so far away from you, or would you just give up and let her go of your life? Not mentioning that she gave up on everything to go up there for you. The least you could have done was to stand by her side. You two had many problems because of the cultural shock, but would you quit on her if she was precious to you? Please, no jokes, this is very serious.
Are there guys who still care and go for her till the end of Earth?
He is 59 and she is 52. Not just two children anymore.
Is a wife just a disposable thing nowadays?
2006-12-20 04:55:35 · 8 answers · asked by babygirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Relationships are disposable nowadays (to many)...all a part of our fast-food, instant-gratification society. If it's broke, discard it and get a new one...fixing it is for the old schoolers.
I'm a female and my answer to your question (even though you apparently prefer the male point of view) is that if he REALLY cared for her that much he wouldn't have let things get so bad in the first place to cause her to go home...she definitly shouldn't sit around and hope he'll show up to apologize and bring her back.
It's tough to change...if the guy didn't show he loved her and she felt mistreated, then it's unlikely overnight he's going to see the error of his ways and become a new man. My guess would be that she didn't know him well enough when she gave up everything to be with him, and found out too late that he wasn't what he'd appeared to be or what she'd made him out in her head to be.
If they aren't a good match, then she's definitely better off...best thing to do now is chalk it up to a lesson learned and try to get her life back together...best wishes to her!
2006-12-20 05:02:37 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends.
Similar situation: Two people move because there are no jobs in the town they grew up in. She can't stand being away from her family and having to adapt to a new lifestyle. Being away from family is so hard she can't even try getting a job, doing volunteer work, or joining some kind of group that might make things easier.
Having an entire family to worry about, not just one wife, moving back to a town with no jobs isn't an option, so she adapts the only way she can. She drinks a lot.
Now, she's not around the house complaining all the time. But, then again, the times she is around the house are even worse. It's really bad for the kids.
The next new town they move to, she stops drinking. Except the way she does this is to have no friends - not one single friend. That surely can't last, but there is one escape. She does drink when she visits back home with her family.
After a while, she 'visits' at her family's home for an average of 10 months a year and 'lives' at home with her husband an average of 2 months a year.
It's not that hard to let her go. It's so gradual that he kind of wakes up one day and shouts, "Oh, my God, my wife left me ... just two years ago!"
Besides, sometimes the decision is between being a loser only once you walk in the front door of your house and being a 24 hour a day loser. If he finds appreciation and self-worth in his job, or taking classes, or coaching the kids' teams, then making him feel like a loser at home won't make him more likely to give in - it will make him more likely to spend more time doing things where his efforts will be appreciated.
You might have missed the boat, especially if you spend more time complaining about culture shock than finding out what he did during his day.
2006-12-20 17:40:09 · answer #2 · answered by Bob G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leaving the country seems like an, "it's over, and I am done with everything about you including the country you live in." I would personally move on. I'm only 30 and I even feel like like every minute I have left is precious.
2006-12-20 13:01:43 · answer #3 · answered by Woodstock 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love someone and you have problems you just don't quit on them because the going gets tough. If it were me I would do everything I can do to let her know I love her no matter what and I would do everything to be with her wherever whe is or wants to be. A person who really loves another should be committed to that person if love is real. In such cases as you describe distance doesd not matter where love is concerned. I would give up everything for her especially if she gave up everything for me. Even if I loved her I would still give up all for her else I would not love her at all.
2006-12-20 13:02:05 · answer #4 · answered by Lewis P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well obviously she wasn't to precious for him if he treated her badly. She did the right thing by going back to her country. The dude is a selfish jerk and he got what he deserved. Life isn't a fairytale. Men and women are equal...men who don't accept that should go back to their cave and not come out. No, a wife isn't disposable...they should be treasured.
2006-12-20 13:02:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You send a letter her with the address of some place in her country, and tell her to go there.
You are there. The letter was sent out a day before your flight.
If this doesn't make her realize that you would go "to the end of the earth" for her, nothing will.
2006-12-20 13:04:26 · answer #6 · answered by Floss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You moved out, now accept responsabilty for your actions.
You are not a teenager so stop acting like one. If you weren't able to get over your "cultural shock" then you gave up on him and love... so how can you accuse him of giving up? You were the one that left... remember????
This is what you get for getting and internet boyfriend.
Good luck
2006-12-20 13:02:30 · answer #7 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No if you love her you will persuade her to get back and be caring.
2006-12-20 12:59:54 · answer #8 · answered by rams 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋