This is a serious question... My brother in law just made the final change..U know what I mean... and normally before all this I had no problems with little boys playing with dolls and stuff.. but now I am overly worried.. My two year old like to copy his two older sisters and wants me to put stuff in his hair.. Is this something to be concerend with? I don't think I could handle my son being transgendered.. Is this just because of his sisters? Or could he be like his uncle? ( well.. aunt now..) I am sorry.. I am not trying to offend anyone.. but I am not able to come to terms with this.. yet..I am hoping someday i will but not yet... thanks!
2006-12-20 04:41:49 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
BIY GUY.. If you would bother to read my question and re-answer I would appreciate it. DON'T EVER say I am an abusive mother.. I am a very LOVING mother and don't ever pass judgement on something you don't know. MY BROTHER in law is transgendered.. and I am sorry.. for some of us that is VERY hard to accept.
2006-12-20 08:27:42 · update #1
Kids tend to explore the world around them and themselves. When we're young, everything is so new to us. We're also a partially "blank slate." Eventually we find ourselves and kinda get an idea of what this world is all about. Allowing a child to express themselves only helps them further discover who they are and allowing them to see a wider variety of people only helps to broaden their mind and make them a better person. Isolating them from certain people only causes people to become narrow minded. Limiting self-expression teaches people to not do what makes them happy and just leads to people filling voids in their life with unsafe practices, like drugs. Oh, and be trans isn't contagious.
The best thing you can do for your child is let him express himself how he pleases when it comes to gender roles. Odds are he's just taking after older siblings. He is two after all. He doesn't know that people are forced into box A "male" or box B "female." (I'm joking by the way. People don't have to pick a role and live it, even though most people do even if it doesn't fit them.) It sounds like the only influences in his life are female. Try giving him a mix of masculine and feminine influences and allowing him to choose what makes him comfortable. He could be transgender, or he could have just not realized how much fun can be had under the hood of a muscle car for example.
Also, for you, I'd suggest going to the LGBT scene. Maybe attend a PFLAG meeting or something. You sound like a decent person, but are kinda uncomfortable with a group of people that you haven't ever had much contact with. It might be good to meet new people and grow a little as a person.
Oh, and I discovered a secret of parenting from my own youth while typing this that I'll pass along. Teach respect, responsibility, and a strong work ethic. I wondered what my parents did that made me turn out as the decent person I am, and I realized it had a lot to do with being taught those things from a very young age.
2006-12-20 11:08:49 · answer #1 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if it is hereditary, I hope not cause I do not want my kids going through what I had too. While I am just a crossdresser, I have no desire to fully become a woman, I just like to wear the clothes every now and again. It is normal for kids to copy their older siblings, my oldest did a fine job at teaching my younger ones to be brats. lol. At two years old, they really don't have any concept of this, and even your now sister-in-law shouldn't have any affect on him. I am sure that as time goes on you will see that the 2 year old has absolutely no memory of his uncle, just his aunt. It would be a bitter pill for me to swallow if one of my kids came to me and told me that they were gay trans whatever the case may be. But one thing to always remember, they are your children and you love them unconditionally.
Some possible ways to help you cope would be to find out more about transgendered people. I think fear comes from ignorance, and the more you know the less you have to fear. We all want the best for our kids, and the best thing we can do is to love and support them no matter what.
2006-12-20 10:37:12 · answer #2 · answered by JML 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, many boys play with dolls, including a lot who turn out heterosexual or not transgendered. Playing with dolls has more to do with normal childhood development, and it's not a bad thing for boys or girls, since it does contribute to healthy personalities. Your 2 yr. old might one day be a father, and nurturing ideas planted now could later help him to be a good father and husband.
Regarding whether your son might turn out to be transgendered like his older male relative, there is just not enough research data to comment on this, either way. But let's imagine that he does 'discover' he is some other gender than you & i might assume -- in this scenario -- what kind of a parent would you be? He would be frightened and confused and alone -- would you be there to support him? You need to ask yourself this question now, because the suicide rate is farily high among gay & lesbian teenagers, and even higher among transgender teenagers.
If you son turned out to be something that you didn't desire or expect, would you reject him, and add to his pain, or would you seek counseling and become a source of strength for him?
Only you can answer these questions. But try to remember, he's only 2, so please give yourself and the boy a break!
2006-12-20 05:20:40 · answer #3 · answered by Kedar 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its normal for a 2 year old to play with his sisters if thats all he has my now 4 year old brother did the same thing with me and none of his family is transgender you shouldnt be worried and if he does make that decision when hes older try to support him and love him the same as you did when he was a male
2006-12-20 04:46:55 · answer #4 · answered by xASHx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's learned behavior, so no, you don't have to worry about your child being genetically predisposed to becoming transgendered. What you're experiencing is fear of the unknown. Parents want very much for their children to fit into the norms of society, but sometimes it doesn't go that way. Unconditional love is tough, but it's your parental duty. Hope this helps.
2006-12-20 04:47:15 · answer #5 · answered by hiclaude 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not hereditary in the GENETIC sense i.e. via DNA, no way. It is a familial and social situation so it is behavioral. Just use common sense with the kids and be as honest as you can be.
As the questions arise teach them about LOVE and ACCEPTANCE. If they can learn that all else will fall into place.
2006-12-20 05:22:29 · answer #6 · answered by larrydoyle52 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think you should be worried, He is still a baby and everything is very curious to him. Just try to talk to him about boy stuff too. I have a 4yr old girl and when she was smaller she always looked up to her big brother, but she outgrew it. She is still kinda sort of tomboyish but so was I when I was young.
2006-12-20 04:48:59 · answer #7 · answered by Latin Beauty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"I don't think I could handle my son being transgendered.. "
Try living as a transgendered person with a mother who can't handle you being transgendered. It's enough to make you want to step in front of a moving train.
I'm keeping my eye on you. You sound like you're going to be an abusive mother.
2006-12-20 05:21:26 · answer #8 · answered by BiyGuy 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Siblings tend to follow their older brothers and Sisters.
Its just a phase in their lives and will grow out of it. Nothing of concerns unless you dress them as girls and send them off to school like that.
2006-12-20 04:44:31 · answer #9 · answered by bandgeekmafia13 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i have heard in school that it might run in the family depending on how far apart you are to that relative. Like third sibling or something like that
2006-12-20 06:17:58 · answer #10 · answered by D...D... 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋