So people say its a good idea because leaving with a person is a lot different than just dating and a lot can be learn about your partner. I personally don't think its a good idea. What are your thoughts?
2006-12-20 04:38:30 · 21 answers · asked by gentlgodis 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no,
ive been living with a man for a year and we even have a baby together.
we've been together for 5 years.
the only thing is and why i say no is because we are not in love, our rlationship is based on our love for the child which never works out which is why marraige has not happend for us and may never happen.
i guess your wondering why i say no...
if the two of you have actual love and friendship and respect for each other living together will strengthn that, and when the day comes that he see's he cant live without you after knowing EVERYTHING about you, then you no its real and unconditional (he has smelled your BM for heavens sake) then that is love and that is real and it will last.
but i would say save some things for marrage like really kinky stuff or strip shows after work, some things your gonna need to make it different or spicier when your married.
in my sich i can answer your question because ive seen the negative side of things and would could happen from shaking up, but no matter what happens no that its planned and no that everything will be ok. good luck luv envy
2006-12-20 04:44:46 · answer #1 · answered by envyme 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't understand the statistics really, because living together isn't really much different than being married, so I don't see how that could increase your chance for divorce. I personally think that it is a good idea, because there are a lot of things that you will never know about a person without living in the same house and being with that person all the time. I don't know what studies have been done, but in my opinion it would actually decrese the chance of a divorce because it gives a person a chance to see exactly what they are getting into before they take their vows.
2006-12-20 04:50:28 · answer #2 · answered by lilcountrygirl 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Different opinions for different people. Some would never consider living with someone until marriage, while others would say it may be good way of learning about your new potential mate. The same people who's opinions are wait until marriage may be the same people that believe that regardless of the ups and downs in the marriage they made a commitment and will learn to adjust and remain committed to their marriage. And the other percentage that believe it is okay to live with someone prior to marriage may be the people afraid of failing, not being able to adjust and fully commit to this person, so the fact that they are not married may make it very simple to eventually break up with the person.
2006-12-20 04:45:40 · answer #3 · answered by prayingangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd like to know too!
I think in theory it is better to shack up before marriage, but there have been a couple of studies that show otherwise. I hope to be "shacked up" in at least 6 months from now, and my main worry is that after I do it, and if it turns out we get married and whatnot, we return home to our normal lives, and it will be just the same as being "shacked up" but with a ring and a new last name :/
2006-12-20 04:43:39 · answer #4 · answered by *Chinisu* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well let me tell you living with an individual in my opinion is a good way to settle compatability issues within the house. Maybe they don't have to totally move in since your negative about it. Maybe a month or so whatever your comfortable with. Also it seems that marriage changes things. So what you come to know during shacking up maybe totally different once the papers are signed.. With me I met my wife and moved in the next day. It was that serious. I say all of that to say this.... follow your heart if your uncomfortable don't do it.
2006-12-20 04:44:50 · answer #5 · answered by M.D. 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think living with a person is a good idea....You will get to know the real person you may one day marry....It also may be bad because some men may not marry you if you live together for years before you get married.
My husband moved in with me after we got engaged, I really did not mind it...I can tell you, things do change when you move in with someone as they cannot hide anything...
I used to think it would not be a difference because one time I had a boyfriend that we spent just about everyday together and did not think things would be different, but when I moved in, it changed sure enough....Even when you get married things change...
On the other hand, some men get comfortable and feel like you are living together and will not marry you but it is up to you to resolve that issue or handle it in your own way....
I personally, if I have to go back out there and find someone, I will move with them to really get to know the person I am with.......
Good Luck on your decision...
2006-12-20 08:38:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think the statics on this are misleading. They say that living together first does not change the divorce rate. Okay, but are you counting the people that never even got married as divorced? They never got married, so they can't get a divorce.
Yes, living with someone is completely different than dating. Personally, I think you are crazy to not live together for at least a year after all life altering phases of your life are complete (ie college, job, house, etc).
2006-12-20 04:41:49 · answer #7 · answered by javelin 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Lived with my wife for 1 year. Been married 17 years. It has worked for us.
2006-12-20 05:35:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It ups your chance of divorce 50%. I don't think it is a good idea, but I did it. Only for 3 months until we got married.
2006-12-20 04:40:15 · answer #9 · answered by Local Celebrity 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes it does. I've lived with 3 different girls from 3-5 yrs and never married any of them.
2006-12-20 05:22:44 · answer #10 · answered by seahorse 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋