In regards to going on a cruise with a group of your friends....?

Question

can you write an amusing paragraph or 2 or more that includes these titles of old movies?

1. All About Eve
2. The Creature From The Black Lagoon
3. An Affair to Remember
4. Bell,Book and Candle
5. Adam's Rib
6. Birds, Bees and Storks

Answer 1

Spring break! What more can I say than WHOOOOO!
My friends, Eve and Adam, decided that to celebrate we were going on a cruise. The whole thing, to say the least, was an affair to remember. The good thing was, we remembered to bring the bell, book, and candle. No party is a party without the bell, book, and candle. But sure enough, we hadn't even set out to sea when everything was suddenly all about Eve. The world revolved around her. If a waiter made eyes at us, noooo, it couldn't possibly have been at me. If a guy waved, naturally it was to her. After all, it was her versus the Creature from the Black Lagoon, in her opinion. But this I could ignore. It was vacation, after all, and we were all out to have some fun. Adam, of course, could easily ignore this kind of stuff. It wasn't until Eve stole Adam's rib right off his plate at dinner while his back was turned that Adam got mad. He stormed off. Eve was upset, of course. Everyone but Adam knows that she wants him to teach her about the birds, bees, and storks. But I digress. Finally I managed to reconcile the two. After all, who can stay mad for long on a cruise ship? But tempers can get hot real fast out here on the open sea. Let's hope it's only a three hour tour like they said it would be.

Answer 2

The Dhow glided silently across the calm water of the Nile, as the two supposed 'newlyweds' sipped glasses of Champagne. The sun would be setting soon and the end of another beautiful day drew silently to a close. Marianne thought to herself 'Yes indeed young lady, this will surely be an affair to remember. He had swallowed her story of a rich family in South Africa bell, book and candle'. Roger whispered in her ear 'A penny for your thoughts my dear'. 'Oh nothing darling' she replied 'I was just thinking all about Eve and that the garden of Eden must have looked exactly like this from day one of creation'. 'You are such a romantic darling, you know - I love you more than anything in the world' he whispered softly in her ear. 'You know darling' he continued 'you belong right there' he pointed to the left side of his chest. 'Don't be silly Roger - your heart is in the centre'. 'No, silly' he laughted as he replied 'I am talking of Adam's Rib - that is where Eve came from when she was created'.
They had moved to the bow of the boat and stood leaning against the end of the great white sail that pushed the boat ever onward. The sun was setting over the sandy foreshore as Roger produced something from his pocket. 'Darling' he said in a broken voice 'will you marry me'. He produced the biggest diamond that Marianne had ever seen. 'Oh Roger - you know I will, whenever you say'. He put the ring on to her left ring finger and as she held her hand up, the setting sun threw its pink rays through the diamond onto the sails.
Marianne again went into deep thought 'It must be worth twenty thousand pounds if it is worth a penny. I'm glad that's all over and done with - I'm getting away as soon as possible before he starts on about the birds, bees and storks. He makes me sick, but it has been well worth the effort'.
She was awoken out of her thoughts by Roger putting his arms around her and kissing her on the lips. 'Sh*it' she said to herself 'having to put up with a smelly old bas*tard of 70 makes me want to puke, but the diamond ring and other presents will make it all worth while' .........