In the mornings... he is the biggest bear.. he yells and screams about everything.. I dont even talk to him and he starts yelling.. I cant take it anymore.. I started crying this morning because I am tired of the constant morning battle.. and he yelled at me about that.. What makes it worse is he acts like nothing is wrong when he calls on his breaks from work. Sometime he appoligizes and sometimes he dont. I have talked to him during his good times and he says he will change, but it never does... I need help.. I cant take the mornings anymore... Its not possible to just avoid him either.. Please any and all suggestions are welcome!
2006-12-20 04:05:51 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Other than this the marriage is great! Its just the mornings.. he leaves for work by 7am... then the rest of the time is great.. I don't want to divorce him because he is an ****** in the morning....
2006-12-20 04:12:22 · update #1
Pray for him and God will intervene.
2006-12-20 04:08:50 · answer #1 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I normally *hate* when sex is used by women as a weapon, but tell him every time he treats you like s h i t in the morning, no sex for 2 days. You don't like the disrespect, the yelling, and the jangled nerves. So you are taking away something he likes.
Fine if he is grouchy in the morning, but no mistreatment is allowed. He mistreats you, then he pays the price. No nookie. He can stomp around, but he has to be civil to you. I mean, talking hasn't worked, so action is required. And what else have you got to bargain with? Cooking? Cleaning? Hell men can do without those. Be very clear about what is acceptable and what is not. Grunting is okay - yelling isn't. Not talking much is okay - going off for no reason isn't. Not having to imitate Richard Simmons is okay - talking like a dock worker isn't.
Then of course he will screw up - and then you have to be 100% consistent and NOT give in when he wants some.
I would also address the "why" of his behavior. Why does he act this way in the morning? Why does he act like nothing happened by lunch? Ask him. Then listen. Tell him the larger picture is he's got to improve his character or you're going to have real problems with the relationship that talking and yelling about won't fix and if he wants you around he better by god come correct and pull his head out of his a$s and start sh*tting you Tiffany cufflinks about this issue.
If he's worth all this trouble, good luck. Otherwise he is a bitter angry immature troglodyte that I would dump tomorrow. There are a million guys who would give you the respect you deserve without having to go through all this bullsh*t to get it.
2006-12-20 04:20:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello, I have to apologize for having a little chuckle when I first read your question, I thought I was the only one who woke up to slamming cupboards, yelling stomping etc. and then get the calls on breaks acting like nothing happened! It is unbearable, absolutely! I wouldn't be surprised if the mornings are not the only time he acts like this, eh?? The conclusion I have come to is that my husband is a selfish little 5yr old, having his temper tantrums without the slightest regard for anyone else's feelings. I would say if you don't see this changing, leave. Can you picture waking up with this bear for the rest of your life? Do you think he cares enough to change? Is he one of those guys who can't see past himself? Only you know these things and what you can and cannot live with, take care of yourself first!
2006-12-20 04:19:32 · answer #3 · answered by wakingwolf79 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Easy fix. Just change your morning routine.
Some people are just not morning people (I include my self here). There are some things that you can do to help him ease in the morning. You don;t especify whethere you work or not or why are things so bad in the morning. Do you only have one bathroom? or only one car?
Time management seem to be the problem.
Here are some tips.
- If you or your kids are on his way when he is getting ready to go to work (i.e. no enough hot water, wet towels etc) then get the kids to bath at night. That would save time in the morning.
-Also, get all of their stuff ready for in the morningthe night before (medication, homework, backbacks, shoes, etc) so all they have to do is pick up and go.
- If you have to get ready in the morning as well, get up earlier and get ready before he does, so it won't be the battle for the bathroom.
- Get easy to make breakfasts. Cereal, frozen pancakes, hot pockets, would do the trick and save you time.
- Get up 10-15 minutes earlier so you are ahead of schedule. You don't need to tell him, just set the clocks a few minutes late so your are ahead of the game.
I hope this helps. Good luck
2006-12-20 04:42:39 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is he yelling about?
Is it that he is rushed in the morning and isn't getting to work on time? Then maybe he and you could prepare certain things the night before to make the morning go more easily. Lay out clothes, keys, wallet, etc. Set aside breakfast (ingredients) in a easy to find place in the refrigerator/counter.
Or is he just in a foul mood about nothing particular? Maybe he isn't sleeping well and needs to see a physician. Or maybe it is something he needs to see a counselor about - I'd recommend joint counseling; don't throw all the blame on him at first. Or maybe he is already dreading going to work because he hates his job.
And maybe a little lovin' occassionally in the morning will get him in a better mood. Good luck.
2006-12-20 04:24:20 · answer #5 · answered by volleyjacket 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me help you out mom_of_4.you are a Queen and he is suppose to be your King and I'm gonna tell you right now that if any man husband or not should ever try to do anything to break you self esteem then honey you don;t need him because honey he didn't make you and don't let him break you cause you can do so much better with someone who's going to love you and respect you.Now you are a mother of 4 then you should know that no man is to be put before you children or God because god is a jealous god and he don't no man before him.And sweetie he nos your pain her hears your cry and he's not going to put more on you then you can bare. And also if you have boys I know you don't want them to grow up treating their GF's like that so you have to be the romodule for your son's since their dad is not the man that they thought he was going to be.Honey I'm not lecture you all I'm trying to say to you is be the Teacher not the Preacher.
2006-12-20 04:26:53 · answer #6 · answered by Big Momma KI 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you set up a tape recorder or a video recorder and tape his immature behavior for several days. Give him a chance to actually see/hear his temper tantrums and see if that will make a difference.
If that does not, I will strongly recommend couples counseling for him. He must acknowledge the existence of his behavior, that it is not the behavior of a mature adult, and that the behavior has consequences. These consequences include the fact that he is greatly upsetting his wife and making her question her desire to remain in the marriage. Perhaps if you make it that clear to him, he might wake up and smell the coffee.
If not, I would suggest pouring the coffee over his head on your way out the door.
2006-12-20 04:17:11 · answer #7 · answered by Karen L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok. right this is what I do whilst my husband (uh, third husband) is getting aka faucet dancing on my final nerve. I sit down back. relax. Now, close your eyes midway and squint quite hard so as that he seems fuzzy to you. Now. seem at him fuzzy and then make a itemizing. #a million - rattling his intestine is substantial. I guess his dick may be larger if his intestine replaced into smaller. #2 - Now - quite - might I be dropping lots if he cheated on me? #3 - he likes to spend money he does not have - hmph. #4 - Do i for my area choose him or am I attempting to maintain every person else from having him? #5 - whilst the phok is he going to shrink his toenails? #6 - SHAVE. besides, you get the assumption. learn him - recover from him - provide him away.
2016-10-15 07:40:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's you that needs help it's him. Sounds like anger management is needed, possibly marriage counseling. However, if it's abusive than it's simple so to speak. Get out, don't stay for the kids sake it will only hurt them in the long run. Show your strength and believe in yourself that you don't need to be treated this way. Look for a way out and make it happen. Good luck.
2006-12-20 04:11:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he needs to find another job where he doesn't have to get up so early. Or maybe you need to get him on some stronger coffee. Also try vitamins and maybe a mood supplement like women take for mood swings. I would try vitamins though first, my hubby and i just started taking vitamins again everyday and it has helped immensley even during my time of the month!
2006-12-20 04:19:56 · answer #10 · answered by Melissa C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
counseling or leave. I could not take being that miserable on a daily basis. You both need therapy. And so do the kids. to deal with this, if you don't change this now, then your children are damned to perpetuate the cycle.
2006-12-20 04:09:50 · answer #11 · answered by NolaDawn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋