I am pregnant and I am spotting. I have been having some minor cramps too but I haven't miscarried yet. I had a miscarriage a couple of years ago and it was painful. But now I am pregnant again and I just don't think I am ready. I started spotting and as terrible as it sounds I kind of hope that I have a miscarriage. I would never have an abortion or purposely do something to cause it but it would be a relief if I did miscarry. I just got married last year, I am 22, and I just started a fantastic job and the timing is just off. Plus I am worried I won't be a good mother. I know that children are a blessing I just wanted to be ready for it and I am not right now. Does this make me a terrible person for feeling like this??
2006-12-20 03:23:29 · 14 answers · asked by angel32984 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
It doesn't make you a terrible person. I think all first time moms have doubts about their abilities to be a good mother. Don't worry though, when they put that new baby in your arms everything will just click for you. I really don't think there is ever a perfect time to have a child. And yes it is definatley a blessing. Some women spot and cramp once they get pregnate. Just go and see your doctor and make sure it is not something serious, you don't want to end up in the hospital. I was 22 when i had my first son, and I wouldn't change anything for th world. Everything is going to be ok.
2006-12-20 03:29:20 · answer #1 · answered by breezymourn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to judge you because its just not something i do. Wanting a miscarriage is a terrible thing but if you're not ready then you're not ready. At least you're not getting an abortion. Think about this though what if you're not having a miscarriage and how many every months from now that baby gets here, then what are you going to do? Go see a doctor and talk to your husband about what's going on with you. Try birth control until your really ready to have a baby.
2006-12-20 03:29:31 · answer #2 · answered by *~*Jon-Jon's Mommy!!*~* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a perfectly normal fear when timing is off.
If you do not miscarry, things can and will work out.
If you do, then it was meant to be, all you can do is wait, but don't do any harm to your body to aide the miscarry, cuz you never know what might happen.....you could maybe not miscarry and have an unhealthy child. Just incase this is not a miscarriage, take care of yourself.
2006-12-20 03:33:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not terrible sweetie. Just adopt the baby out. I'll take it. I am 41 and can't have any children.
I think its good of you to be concerned for the childs welfare. Its normal to be scared. If you dont miscarry again, consider adoption. There is a pain in a womans soul that cannot have kids. I know, its awful. And your decision could bring eternal joy to a child and family. You can choose to make it a wonderful blessing for someone else.
I admire your maturity to say, I can't be a good mother and I'm not ready. My hats off to your maturity. Most go on welfare and think its just cute.
Hugs
2006-12-20 03:28:07 · answer #4 · answered by SunValleyLife 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it does not make you a terrible person, but think of it this way, alot of moms and dads feel they are not ready, even if they were trying to have baby's. I have two girls and a boy on the way. I am 24 years old, and was not ready for any of them. I still feel like I am not ready for this baby. But ya know what, they made my life better then ever. I hope that you don't loose this baby, even though you think your "not ready". I think you would be suprised to learn how ready you really are. Just watch your spoting, and cramps. If they get worse, then it is time to go to the hospital. Good luck.
2006-12-20 03:32:09 · answer #5 · answered by sr22racing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesnt make you a bad person. Atleast you are admitting that you arent ready, but instead of wishing for a miscarriage, maybe look into putting the baby up for adoption. But at the same time your feelings may change once you get a little farther in the pregnancy. Either way, good luck.
2006-12-20 03:30:52 · answer #6 · answered by Bri~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means you have some **** to get straight with your life, but if your only concerns are timing with your job and apprehensiveness about being a good mother, you need to get over it. There is a life inside of you and since you helped put it there, it's now your responsibility to do what you can to nurture it so it can grow. If you weren't ready, you should have been taking precautions. You're only a terrible person if you don't live up to your responsibilities. Right now you're just misguided.
2006-12-20 03:28:46 · answer #7 · answered by desiderio 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not terrible, Normal.
I'm in the process of TTC my first. I still have doubts about the timing being right. Some times I want to quit and wait a few more years.
There is no "right" time for babies, and if you wait for the perfect time, it may never happen.
If you do indeed miscarry, you will find out how much you did want this baby. If you do carry to term, you will see how things work out in spite of your fears.
Best of luck to you, no matter what happens.
2006-12-20 05:56:46 · answer #8 · answered by sheldwyn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your a terrible person, Its perfectly normal to feel this way with some women. Having a child is a blessing, and in all seriousiness is the timing ever right? I wish you the best of luck..
Merry Christmas
2006-12-20 06:33:38 · answer #9 · answered by Shem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To tell you the truth, yes. If you didn't want to get pregnant then you should have taken all the precautions in the first place.
Children are gifts of love from God and you should be thankful he is giving you this gift. Not everyone is blessed with these gifts. Your motherly instincts will come out and you will be a good mommy.
2006-12-20 03:32:38 · answer #10 · answered by DawnC36 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋