I'm just confused. This person I know , knows her husband is cheating. She's got all the evidence, Talked to the girls, EVERYTHIG that says he's cheating but his one lie comes out of that mouth I DONT EVEN KNOW THAT GIRL she believes him. WHY?
2006-12-20 03:14:51 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She is afraid to be out on her own, afraid of the divorce process, afraid she can't do it alone. She needs to get over these fears though....and build a better life for herself. Encourage her that you will be there for her, and that she can stand on her own.
2006-12-20 03:16:45 · answer #1 · answered by nottashygirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it has a lot to do with the woman's self esteem. Some women cannot let go for fear of being alone or lonely. Some love the idea of "being in love" or saying that they have a husband. Some because they are afraid no one else will want them (especially when there are several children involved). Yet others, really love their spouses no matter what that spouse does. What is interpreted as love can actually become in some ways self abuse (putting yourself in a situation that you know is going to hurt you). Then there are those who are being mentally and/or physically abused (secretly or openly) and fear leaving. Some stay for the children. No matter what the woman's reason for staying with a cheating spouse, ultimately it's going to be up to her to leave. No matter what you say, unless she is ready to make the move, is going to convince her. In fact, it may push her further away from you. Just be a good friend and offer advice when asked or merited. Whether she comes around, only time will tell.
2006-12-20 03:23:53 · answer #2 · answered by Justmecee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she honestly believes him, I believe it's a matter of preparing herself financially and emotionally to leave. If he makes more money than her she might have worries about supporting herself or just making a large change in her life in general. That would mean, moving out, finding a place, lifestyle changes, lonliness... ect.
Also, some women honestly feel they need someone to make themselves complete and may feel inadequate without a partner and aren't ready for the embarrassment of admitting she has a cheating husband. It's hard to swallow the idea that the man she married doesn't think she's enough for WHATEVER reason. It's all a bit much, so I'd say give her some time.
Oh yes, P.S her husband definitely sounds like a douchebag!
2006-12-20 03:34:34 · answer #3 · answered by Jeanelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think deep down they won;t leave because they daren't be on their own so it is better the devil you know. Either that or they thing the fling is just a passing phase and it will end and everything will be ok again.
Sometimes life isn't as cut and dried as we would like and this girl's reasons for staying are her own so instead of making her feel bad then why don't you support her and if her hubby does decide to leave or if things get bad for her then be a friend and a shoulder to cry on when the time comes.
2006-12-20 03:20:24 · answer #4 · answered by Bagpuss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because they don't want to believe it. Or it could be they are not prepared to be alone in this world and think they need some one to make them whole. You know some women think they just arent complet if they dont have a man in their life. And some think they need some one to take care of them.
I'm sure there are several reason she can come up with, but all in all it is her decision what she does with her marriage. There could be reason that you arent even aware of. If she wants to keep him then that is her decision regardless of what anyone thinks she must do or say about it. And sometimes it is a lot easier looking in than being the one that has to actually deal with it.
2006-12-20 03:20:12 · answer #5 · answered by firefly06 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't believe him. She knows the truth, she just doesn't want to accept it.
It isn't easy to walk away from a husband that you love even when he's lied, cheated and betrayed your trust. In spite of the hurt, the love you feel for him doesn't just die, unfortunately.
Besides the love, there is fear of being on your own, possibly children in the picture to consider, etc.
I'm not saying she shouldn't accept that he's treating her like dirt and leave him, but I understand why she hasn't.
2006-12-20 06:02:48 · answer #6 · answered by rhonda j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Denial, ignorance and refuse to acknowledge the truth. Sometimes it also happens to women who are too dependent on their husbands or maybe she got no where else to go or do not know what to do.
This is the same question I keep asking myself why some women still go back to their man, when they actually beats them up?. How can they tolerate this. To you and me maybe is crazy but to them is a need.
2006-12-20 03:22:04 · answer #7 · answered by Rosy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because she wants to believe it because there is still something in the relationship she wants or needs...whether it be she doesn't think she can make it on her own or her self-esteem has been beat down over the years and thinks she is worthless. It is her decision, not yours. The best thing you can do is be a good friend to her and try to point out her good traits and offer to be there if she wants to talk.
2006-12-20 03:19:41 · answer #8 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She believes him because she chooses to.
In some cases the theory is like economics. The woman will stay with a cheating man, because he still may be better than her next best alternative.
Hard worker, responsible, cheater vs. herion addicted, unemployed, jerk.
2006-12-20 03:54:17 · answer #9 · answered by Floss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is so hard to see the one we love as a liar and a cheat, so we go into this denial thing. we do not want to face it, as we stll have hopes and dreams, and we still believe them. sometimes it's fear of the future and unknown, caused by having no self confidence in ourselves. sometimes when we are young we tend to believe lies, more than if we were older and had already gone through it before. she loves him, she still has loving memories of him, the way it was with them when it was all brand new and wonderful, before the crisis, that she simply doesn't want to face right now. takes a while to process it in our minds, and come to terms with it, especially if this is the first time she has been through something like this.
2006-12-20 03:29:24 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My cousin was in that situation. She would never listen. In fact he left to be with this woman and when he wanted to come back so he wouldn't have to pay her alimony and child support she let him. Even though he was still seeing this woman. I don't know what it was, but she finally grew some balls, and one night when she was with her husband down at the local bar, the girl walked in sat down at their table and asked him to go outside. My cousin, who has never had any self confidence.....AT ALL. Got mad, walked outside, pulled her out of his truck and proceeded to beat the sh*t out of this girl. Knocked 4 of her teeth out while screaming, this is for me, this is for my kids, and this one is for fun. Still don't know where all that came from, but I guess she finally realized that being alone, was better then having no self respect! It will eventually happen for your friend. Just be there for her until it does. You may have to bail her out after the fact
2006-12-20 03:42:16 · answer #11 · answered by henryswrecker_fr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋