Is it true that nice guys/men finish last? If a man/guy , me for example were to be kind and generous all the time , would that get me anywhere in life?
Don't people have to be a little mean or pretty mean sometimes to get anywhere?
I'm usually extremely kind to most people. I use to have a short fuse , but it has grown and is still growing.
I'm curious , I am a teenager. So I don't know .
2006-12-20 03:14:18 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Politeness , generosity and being over-all good , Gets no one anywhere in life?
2006-12-20 03:21:13 · update #1
well, it is not true always. u should be nice to all, but never try to do anything mean to others, sometimes, well, u can just be quiet and watch something happen, instead of thinking of doing good, but don't do mean to anyone. Great people who were good-doers have prospered in their lives. I want, such a nice guy, like u, to prosper in your life.
2006-12-20 03:32:24 · answer #1 · answered by Yoga 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all 'nice guys' finish last; it just depends "how nice" you are...let me explain, ever hear of the phrase, "Don't take my kindness as weakness"? That means that the person saying that might be a nice person, but if you cross him the wrong way, then you'll be in trouble. However, there are some people who are just TOO nice and they get taken advantage of and get walked-over all the time. Those type of people, the "push overs", finish last because they do not stand up for themselves. If you are a "nice push over" then you will probably finish last; however, if you stand up for yourself, I think you will end up better than any "mean guy".
That said, most "nice guys" end last when it comes to finding a relationship with a girl because the girl usually looks for the "mean guy" to try to tame...she looks for these guys because they are more exciting. This is usually a phase and the "nice guy" eventually prevails...my recommendation is that you probably don't want to date the girl who goes for the "bad guys" anyway...look for the sweet ones cause they will be a ton harder to get the older you get (see: supply and demand).
2006-12-20 11:21:57 · answer #2 · answered by flyboop_2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In a world where competition looms in every corner, I can see sense in what you are thinking.However, it is not always as true that nice or good men finish last.I am a teenager as well, going on 18.
I had always been brought up with the thinking that when you do good or just be a good person, you will reap what you sow. Hence, doing good and holding fast to your beliefs is the key. It really depends on which area you are referring to in the saying "getting anywhere in life".
It may not be in the corporate ladder but spiritually, you will be satisfied and your conscience will be crystal clear. Being mean may help you get things you want in life, but ask yourself- will you be happy?If you will be not, then don't. Remember, being mean can hurt people sometimes, and if we use the "meanness" to get anywhere in life, it will become a habitual process sooner or later. You will start to snap at even the slightest things that you feel uncomfortable with and this may cause the people around you to dislike you or even HATE you..
Believe me, it PAYS to be good..Well, at least you'll feel good!!
2006-12-20 11:28:58 · answer #3 · answered by LiFe_pHilosophY 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're a winner already in my book. Nice guys only finish last because they put others before themselves. It's a quality decision and sometimes a sacrifice to let others get the glory. Just know the difference between those who may need an occasional act of kindness and those who are greedy for gain all the time. Please don't ever stop being kind and generous, this world needs those qualities sometimes. It's a kindness sometimes to say NO too. That's tough love.
2006-12-20 11:34:01 · answer #4 · answered by ♨ Wisper ► 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt as you do for most of my life. But I have come to see the error in my thinking. Being a nice guy is truly a gift. The problem is we tend to always do for others and expect in return some sort of praise or, at the very least, acknowledgment for it.
Being nice does not mean others will respect that. Everyone has there own demons to fight and, for the most part, have little time to notice how nice you are.
The real problem is not being nice....it is what you expect in return for it. The rage you have building inside you is because you feel so unappreciated. The thing I never understood was there is only one person in this world that is going to truly value your being nice and that is you.
Does that mean you should stop being nice. In a word....No!
What needs to change is your expectation. Be nice because you want to not to gain anything from it.
From my perspective being nice also means you are, to some extent, shy. You have poor self esteem. So you are nice....not just because you want to be ....but because your belief is that other people will like you for it.
In reality it works the other way. No one likes someone they can push around. At least not for long. And especially girls. You will notice they always seem to go for the jerks. Well it is not that they like to be run over…or taken advantage of…. it is because they like the self confidence and assuredness these guys have. Attraction is not a choice. No girl/woman wants a man they can push around. When you are nice and do everything they want so they will like you they actually loose respect. It is crazy but true.
As I said...being nice is a gift....but you can over do it. You must first and foremost be confident in yourself. If you do something nice for someone do not expect anything in return. If someone is trying to make you do something you know is not right for you...instead of doing it to be nice....just say no. Yes you can be a nice person and still be true to yourself. The combination is a killer. Girls will fall all over you.
If you can change just one thing about yourself please make it confidence. Put yourself first and then others. You do not have to be mean. Not at all. Just stand up for yourself. To thy own self be true.
Trust me I am looking at life from the other end. I do wish someone could have told me this when I was your age and been able to take advantage of it. Your life will change dramatically in everything you do.
.
2006-12-20 12:02:49 · answer #5 · answered by John B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what your goals are. In my book, nice guys always come in first. You may not get the job you want, but you'll be better off it requires you to be overly aggressive and walk all over people. You may not get the girl of your dreams, but if she can't see your inner qualities, she's not really what you're looking for, only what you think you want. You have time yet to mature and find your niche, but stay true to yourself and continue being kind; it will win out in the long run.
2006-12-20 11:49:00 · answer #6 · answered by Roberta 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the phrase "Do not take my kindness as weakness" because I think that kindness is a very respectable quality in a person. But do not let people walk all over you. Be able to stand up for yourself and gain the respect of those around you.
2006-12-20 12:22:46 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ Erin ♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a fellow nice guy, i know for sure that the nice guys always get taken advantage of more often than most. no matter what you do or who you try to help, there will always be some one that takes kindness for a weakness. but that's not going to stop me from treating people as nicely as possible.
2006-12-20 15:15:07 · answer #8 · answered by tempistdrake06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes women finish last also. Don't be mean and nasty. Continue to be nice and it will pay off in the long run.
2006-12-20 11:49:21 · answer #9 · answered by Me, Myself & I 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only in the short run, Guys who are not nice such as cheaters and deceiver it will catch up to them Only temporarily they finish first
2006-12-20 11:21:17 · answer #10 · answered by PhillyDude 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋