I don't know if any advice would be helpfull, cause it seems hopeless, but I'm running out of options... may already be too late. Even though I've tried everything (AND I MEAN EVERYTHING) my pregnant wife wants nothing to do with me. I am devoted to her, but she doesn't care about me. It is evident and finite that her mind is made up. This is not mama drama! I'm not rebound material, nor have I cheated on her! This is my real life. I really love her with my every being and I need to be with her during this time that we are pregnant. I am experiencing normal pre-birth Father blues and worries according to a seasoned veteran friend, who says "take it one day at a time, but it's no cause for major concern" he says. I don't want to be one of those people who lose in a lose lose situation. I want my family back. I know she's going through a tough time with it all, but is it enough to end our marriage? I think I need to talk to more people........please help.
2006-12-20 03:13:43 · 26 answers · asked by HARDBALZ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sometimes when your too nice to a person, they take advantage of that or think poorly of you because they think your a wuss. What have you done for her? Why did you do to make her feel this way? Do you mean have nothing to do with by sex? Alot of pregnant women do not want it and it's normal. Just be there for her and try not to crowd her too much. Let her know you are there and you love her very much. Maybe make her a nice candlelight dinner.
2006-12-20 03:18:21 · answer #1 · answered by Xena 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say that i would stay friends, just because i wouldn't want to hurt any chances in the future,if things go good as friends for a while and when u feel the time is right i would try and turn the friendship into something else. By then u guys would have gotten to know each other way way better. And if she were to tell u she didn't see u in that way then that she only sees u as a friend, it wont be as ackward being around her again because u guys r comfortable with each other already. Plus from experience i just want to say that most people change through the years, so u don't know what she will be like in a couple of years, maybe you'll like her more. If ur going to date someone else while u wait. I would say it would only hurt chances in the future if she likes u now, but other than that i don't think it would hurt the friendship unless the new girl u date is the jealous type and don't let u talk to her that's the only way i see it hurting the friendship.
2016-05-23 00:06:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's just feeling depressed and feeling unattractive since she's a bit overweight. You should tell her how much you love her and how beautiful she is even though she's over weight. Maybe she feels like you don't love her or won't have anything to do with her since she's big. Don't give up. Hearing sweet words like that when we are pregnant makes us feel better. I mean I won't know since I've never been pregnant but I know this from my sister in law who's had two kids from my brother and sometimes we just go through feelings like this and you just need to show her and tell her that no matter how big she gets she's still going to be beautiful in your eyes. You are bringing a new life in this world and this child needs both of you. After she has the baby she'll be normal and start letting you be near her again. Just give her time and show her how much you do love her and no matter how big she gets she's always going to be attractive in your eyes ok? Congraduations on the new baby and as long as you take these advices and the other ones that were posted your marriage will last and your wife will be herself again.
2006-12-20 03:29:04 · answer #3 · answered by Irish Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be patient and loving, I can imagine what it sounds like when she tells you that she doesn't want you around, but you have to be strong for both of you now, she is not feeling sexy or comfortable, she most likely is scared that she might not be able to be a good mom and maybe she is worried that she will never look the way she did before she got pregnant, you just have to be there for her and tell her that she is the most beautiful woman you've ever seen and that her carrying your baby is the best thing that she's ever done, and that you are so proud of her and that you think that she will be the best mother and that every day you fall in love with her more and more. Offer to give her a foot massage and make sure she is comfortable. Just be the loving and caring self, she will appreciate it and tell you how thankful she is to you for putting up with all this during pregnancy. good luck and don't give up!
2006-12-20 03:52:58 · answer #4 · answered by wantstoknow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey! You really got to breathe easy and not take most things your wife says personally at this time. My cousin was the same way with her husband. When she got pregnant, she became a literal touch-me-not. He just couldn't understand her for the life of him. She would really explode if he even came into the room and asked something so normal. She wanted him to go do his stuff and not bother with her. Is she in the early stages of pregnancy? If so, you could consider this normal. Be patient and wait until she is getting into her 3rd and final trimester. She will be in a better frame of mind. You can take her for walks and do personal things for her at that time. For now, be supportive by taking care of many things around your home and being as helpful as possible without getting in her way or getting in her vision while doing these things (if she sees you doing things, she might get further irritated thinking that she can handle everything and she doesn't need you). Hope I'm assessing all of this right. Just stay in place and in the meantime until she gets communicative in a better way, read books, workout (you need the stamina for raising a baby - it's no easy work), talk to other fathers, do some small charity to orphanages. Take care and good luck with the coming months. They may seem lonely and you may feel a bit alienated, BUT PLEASE hang in there. :-)
2006-12-20 03:24:26 · answer #5 · answered by happykat 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Pregnancy was very tough for me and our relationship. However, I am not sure what you mean by "my pregnant wife wants nothing to do with me. I am devoted to her, but she doesn't care about me". Are you talking sex only, or everything. More details would help a bunch. However, it is well known that women go through a ton of hormonal changes during pregnancy. You might want to just ride it out and give her the time she needs to cope with all this. Maybe she is seeing the child as the end of her previous life. I felt that way. Make sure you tell her that once the kid comes, you two will start dating again. You will get a sitter. You will have fun again.
2006-12-20 03:18:59 · answer #6 · answered by javelin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Pregnant women can be insane (hormones, discomfort, weight gain, fear). But under all of the crazy is the same woman you fell in love with and married. She won't be like this forever.
See if you can get some girlfriends (moms) over to talk to her. We've been there. Let them know you need their help because you're worried about your dear wife. Women love to be helpful, and they love trying to help mend a relationship for a friend. Then give them some space. Go see a movie or hang out with the guys for the evening. I hope that helps. Don't lose hope.
2006-12-20 03:29:21 · answer #7 · answered by KD 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hold your head up high.
Just show her that you are going to be there for her no matter what. She will come around. She will realize that you are a great guy and love being with you. Stay positive about everything.
Pregnancy is sometimes a lot of stress for a woman to go through so maybe she wasn't completely ready for it.
Whatever you do don't act like it doesn't bother you.
Show her that it does and talk to her about it.
I wish you the best of luck and Congratulations!!!!!
2006-12-20 03:18:40 · answer #8 · answered by teresasays 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, when you say she doesnt care about you, has she said this? Does she say she loves you? If she has told you she does not love you, then I would ask her why, whats going on? If she says she loves you still, then why are you worried? You didnt give many details.......Anyway, I have had two kids, and trust me, your personality can change during pregnancy. Also, although I love my kids I hated the condition of pregnancy. She may feel fat and uncomfortable and subconciously be angry at you for 'doing this to her'. Or she may be so unnatractive that she thinks you don't love her, so she's pushing you away. Anyway, be supportive, but maybe write her a letter about how your feeling and give her some space. Tell her in the letter to come to you to talk whenever she is ready. This is a hard time for all. But you must resolve it, or your baby will be the one who suffers.
2006-12-20 03:20:51 · answer #9 · answered by mna 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been married? It may just be seasonal. Also, did her lack of interest in you precede the pregnancy? Hormones, do a number on a woman during pregnancy.
You're bringing a child into the world. You need to try and stick it out, until you see how things are post-birth of the child.
Do you have any religious convictions? Perhaps you could talk to a clergyman. If not, a counselor.
I have been married 22 years, and you have many ups and downs. Part of married life.
2006-12-20 03:21:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋