My husband has been offered a position working in Iraq as a contracted civilian. He would be making really good money yet he is concerned about the area where he will be working and leaving us for a year. How can I convince him that taking the position will be financially beneficial to us and calm his fears that he is going to be safe?
2006-12-20 03:12:55 · 31 answers · asked by jackandjenninaz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I want to clarify something. This was his idea at first. I was not for it at all. However he wanted to join the military and I supported him. I cannot support him now if this is what he is wanting to do. And he said that he wants to go for the money also. I love my husband and would not want anything to ever happen to him. However would it not be hypocritical of me to not stand behind him now when I stood beside him when he joined the service.
2006-12-20 03:19:16 · update #1
Ok people I want to thank you for your opinions. When I used the word convince I want to be supportive of the decision that he makes either way. I want you all to know that the last thing that I want to appear to my husband as is money hungery and uncaring about his life. Thank you for helping me realize that was the way I may have been coming across.
2006-12-20 03:55:18 · update #2
Reading this question and keeping an open mind, I think she is trying to say that her husband wanted to join the military and she was supportive of him. Money is tight right now and he saw an opportunity to go work in Iraq as a civilian. She feels that she needs to be supportive of the decision he makes whether that be to go or stay. I believe when she asked to help her "convince" him, she meant to help her see the positive aspects of such a job so that she can sound SUPPORTIVE if this is the choice he makes.
Sure, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I don't think accusing this woman of wanting to send her husband off to be killed for insurance money is a valid one.
Lets be mature, people.
2006-12-20 03:45:36 · answer #1 · answered by Jess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think very hard about this. Both of you do and evaluate a LOT of research on the situation over there, talking with other civilian contractors who have been there (don't listen to the media). FInd out what part of the country he's going to. Some parts of Iraq have never seen the war (the northern Kurdish part is said to be especially safe). Other areas are not so lucky. It's a disturbing trend that humanitarian workers are being targeted for kidnapping right now. I'd do a LOT of research before sending my spouse there for a year, no matter how much money is involved. Both of you research and research, and eventually the answer will become clear. You BOTH have to agree on the conclusion. Remember that many life insurance policies don't pay off if the insured dies as a result of an act of war. Alternative: Can he get a job in Jordan? That's a relatively safe country in the mideast. Very good luck to you both.
2006-12-20 03:17:35 · answer #2 · answered by David W 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband does have some valid concerns. Is the 'really good money' worth his life? Is it worth the toll it will probably take on your marriage since he's not going to be in physical proximity to you for a year? Is there anyway the two of you can meet a more reasonable financial goal by staying in the United States? Unfortunately, I cannot provide you what you ask because I think it is ill advised for your husband to take the job. Please think about some of the things I wrote here. Whatever you ultimately decide, it should be a mutual decision, and I wish you both the best of luck.
2006-12-20 03:23:22 · answer #3 · answered by kewtber 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you don't know that he will be safe, so I don't think you can calm his fears. It sounds to me like he is thinking about everything, including not wanting to leave his family and all you are thinking about is the money. My husband has been to Iraq twice, and let me tell you, extra money isn't worth it. Granted, my husband is a Marine and was in the Infantry when he went, so it was really dangerous, possibly more so than it will be for your husband, but still, it IS NOT WORTH the risk, worry, & wait!!
How would you feel if you "convince" him, and then something happens to him. Will the financial benifits your family gains replace him??
2006-12-20 03:19:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard one. For me, I need money just as bad as the next person. But if there was a choice of having my husband home safe with me for the money he's making now or sending him to Iraq to make more money, honey----my husband would be in my bed next to me every night! Damn Iraq! I can't be on your side with this one. If you love your husband sweetie you shouldn't even be thinking about sending him to the hell hole! That's my feeling on this question. I know it's not the one you want to read but I gotta go with my feelings on this one. I hope if he does decide to go, that everything goes well for the both of you and that he'll come back home to you safe.
2006-12-20 03:18:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, first you can actually tell him, there's really not one place that is 100% safe in this world. Look at all the recent disaster and incidents such as tsunami, earth quake and etc.
All this happen at the time and place, no one expected so all this is fated. Let god decide when its a person time to go.
Meanwhile we all need to get back to reality i.e. keep on surviving for the sake of yourself and your family. Sacrifices need to be made to ensure the whole family stay together and work towards the better future.
Good Luck.
2006-12-20 03:18:34 · answer #6 · answered by Rosy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-30 16:52:48 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess I will just add my voice to the chorus.
Maybe the extra money isn't worth him entering a situation where he is far from the people he loves and doesn't feel safe??
It would be financially beneficial for me to take a night job too but it would ruin our family.
2006-12-20 03:22:23 · answer #8 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually to tell you the truth you sound quite selfish,,asking a question like that, i dont think any of iraq is safe at the moment, and what would you rather money or the possibility of your husband coming back in a wooden box, and how would you feel,,im sorry for being blunt but c'mon mate, hes the one that has to go over there,,,so of course he's worried,, i would be convincing him to stay home,,,
2006-12-20 03:18:52 · answer #9 · answered by danz_vb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In a worse case scenario you convince him it is the right move. One day at work, a car bomb goes off and he falls victim. Now, not only is your husband gone, but you will forever live with the guilt that you pushed him to do it. I understand that maybe the concept was his 1st, but for whatever reason, he changed his mind. Don't change it back.
Unless a bigger house is worth his life.
2006-12-20 03:45:43 · answer #10 · answered by Floss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋