I'm having a very bad day. My lover has not even slept in the same bed with me for a week now. He has been staying up until all hours and then going to bed just before i get up to go to work. He says it's because he is working on a project and has been very stiff and wanting to sleep in a recliner to feel better, but my heart hurts because I miss him. I left him a note yesterday morning alluding to that fact, and I went out to his workshop at midnight last night (dressed in a sexy negligee) to tell him that I thought that he should come in for the night as I had run him a nice hot bath and would give him a message to help him sleep. I fell asleep myself sometime about 2:00 a.m, but he hadn't come in yet.
When I got up for work this morning at 6:00 he was asleep in the recliner in the living room and I coaxed him into bed, but he didn't say anything - just mumbled something and fell back asleep.
What now?
I'm thinking of calling in a little while to ask him what's
2006-12-20 02:47:33 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
what's goi8ng on and if he's upset with me or something. Her acts normal otherwise, but something is wrong. I'm worried and I'm having trouble concentrating at work because I want to cry and go home - but I can't because I have tons of work to get done. I don't think I can stand this until I get home this evening.
What do I do? Should I call? If so, what do I say. He's not a kid, he's a grown man in his 50's. Am I just being insecure? I jsut feel physically sick about it. It's like he's trying to avoid me. He has been spending a lot of time in his worshop at the house, making me small things in addition to working on his projects.
Please help!! I'd do anything to feel okay.
2006-12-20 02:51:19 · update #1
Sounds like he is cheating to me. Either that or he is impotent. Talk to him and tell him that you need to know what the problem is so that you can either help him,or at least be there for him if it is medical. If he is cheating, then kick him out!!
2006-12-20 02:50:55 · answer #1 · answered by GreeneyedCowgirl 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
OK now remember it is the time of year when Christmas is just around the corner. He might be staying up all night working in his shop making you a very special Christmas gift and he doesn't want you to find out about it. I could be wrong but I might also be right. I would think if he was cheating he wouldn't be in his workshop he would be leaving the house. Does this man have a job? If not what is he doing during the day when you go to work? I wish I could talk to you more in detail about his actions so I could get a better picture.
2006-12-20 03:03:56 · answer #2 · answered by Lucinda M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make someone love you, it has to come from within their body. He could be burned out from the job, no sex drive. Maybe be is going through a depression and this will take away your sexual drive. I would not come to the conclusion that there is a another woman in the picture yet. Open communication is the answer. There is more to a relationship than just sex. Write him a love letter stating what you are feeling inside of you. Do not point fingers at him, stay focus on your feelings and needs. Do not say that he is not meaning your sexual needs. Focus on what you have to offer him, and why you are in love with him. Ask him what can you do to improve your relationship with him. He will feel more open to tell you the true; you might not like the answer.
2006-12-20 03:03:21 · answer #3 · answered by D S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to him RIGHT NOW and ask him what's going on. Don't leave a note or call him on the phone. Talk to him face to face. Tell him how you feel. Life's to short to be sweating the small stuff. Could be he's making something very special for you and want to surprise you. GIVE him a chance to explain. You could be in for a BIG BEAUTIFUL SURPRISE.
2006-12-20 03:04:55 · answer #4 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would he be avoiding you? I wish you would come over he in a negligie. I'd still be in bed wiht you. Sounds like maybe he's got something going on the side honey. Do yourself a favor and get out now. If he's got no time for you,somone else will. Come on over.
2006-12-20 04:41:06 · answer #5 · answered by seahorse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are very simple. What they say they mean. Don't think your lacking in any area, you are great women and if you weren't he wouldn't be with you. Only thing I can say is that you just need to be honest about him, enough with the notes actually talk to him. Whats the worse that can happen, except him telling you the truth.
2006-12-20 03:07:30 · answer #6 · answered by Chrystal 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something is going on and he is unsure how to tell you, so he is avoiding you, probably because Christmas is approaching and he does not want to ruin it for you but he is. You most definitely need to confront him, asap to clear this up for your own sanity. This whole process is going to hurt like hell since he has your heart so go lightly and seek the answers you need. Do not do this over the phone, you need to talk face to face. Good Luck
2006-12-20 03:01:44 · answer #7 · answered by Gabriele 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it is almost Christmas, could he be making something for you? He wouldn't be able to work on it while you were awake or you'd see it, then when he gets tired he may not want to disturb you by coming to bed, so sleeps downstairs. I'd say talk to him, a relationship is only as good as it's communication.
2006-12-20 02:52:06 · answer #8 · answered by tabithap 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I really dont think anything is wrong. He just wants to finish whatever it is he is working on. I would suggest you tell him you miss him and ask him to come to bed early one night just to spend a little quality time and he can go back out there. Otherwise I really dont think anything is wrong, just give him his space.
2006-12-20 02:59:39 · answer #9 · answered by Orleanslady 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is working on a very important project and his back is hurting, so when he comes in he sleeps on the recliner.
2006-12-20 02:52:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First rule: don't allude, say. If he has to interpret code, then allow for him to interpret it wrongly. If you actually want him to come to bed, actually say the words, "Honey, I want you to come to bed now. I miss having you in bed with me." Any other words are not good enough. Don't make it a question, don't beat arround the bush, say what's on your mind instead of expecting him to read it. You'll be amazed at the results!
2006-12-20 02:52:49 · answer #11 · answered by Sean J 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋