Its AT LEAST once a week. He refuses to get up and says hes sick. Theres nothing wrong with him and later in the day he always 'magicly' feels better. Im so frustrated with this.
I have discussed the difference between 'not feeling great' and really being sick, and that a person cannot miss that much school or work. Hes failing all his classes because he misses so much school. The school says they can do nothing.
Today again he says he sick. I got really angry and told him I dont believe him and he thinks Im being mean to a 'sick' person. I told him he's cried wolf too many times, and made him admit he lies about it often, so I dont trust his word.
I HATE starting my day off like this. Getting angry. B1tching at him.
As a mother, my natural instinct is to be understanding and supportive if my child is sick...but hes abused this...and now it just plain pisses me off when I hear him whine that hes sick as he lays in bed and refuses to get up.
What would you do?????????? Help!
2006-12-20 02:15:32 · 29 answers · asked by paradox is interesting 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Nope they dont have truancy officers here. I wish they did. Nope social services doesnt seem to care, and the school says their hands are tied.
2006-12-20 02:52:08 · update #1
I worked with several kids that had this problem. The first thing is to check with your son and check with the school to see what is going on, why he doesn't want to go to school. Don't do this in the morning, in the middle of the fight. Choose a time when you're both calm and really listen to him. If he asks for help, give him help. Otherwise just validate his feelings, let him know that you do understand. Also, if it's an issue with bullying, call the school and make them aware of what is going on. After that, express to your son that you understand what he is feeling, but from this point on he will go to school unless he is throwing up or has a fever. If he continues to refuse, then when he doesn't go to school, he doesn't get any fun stuff. Treat him as if he's sick. He has to stay in his room, in bed. No TV, No games, No phone privileges. If you have to unplug the TVs, take all the controllers, take all the phones away, do it. Make sure he stays in bed ALLLLL day. He can read or listen to music. No outside time, no contact with friends. The following day, if he goes to school, he gets all his privileges back. When he refuses, take them all away again. He'll eventually get bored with being home and start going to school just to avoid boredom.
2006-12-20 04:58:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would ask him what he is avoiding. if there is a huge problem, let him know that skipping school is not the option,and let him talk to the principal or the counsler about whatever his problem is. if he says there is no problem then tell him that unless he has a fever, is vomiting or has the sh1ts, that you will stop calling him out of school. you are the one excusing him from school. eventually, with so many unexcused absences, he will be punished from the school. that way he knows that it's not just you that he is going to answer to. also, if he gets suspended for this, don't let his suspesion be a play day. when i was suspeded, my dad used to make me sit at the kitchen table and do nothing all day until bedtime. he made it clear that suspension was a punishment not only from the school, but from him as well.
2006-12-20 07:40:41 · answer #2 · answered by purplemallkitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let him stay home if he was vomiting or had a fever or if he wanted you to take him to the Dr. In the real world people go to work sick all the time. My daughter says she is sick all the time. I only let her stay home if she has a fever and is vomiting. The school will call me if she needs to come home early.
Won't you get in trouble if he misses excessive amounts of school? I know that after a certain amount of absences the dept. of social services will step in to see whats going on.
I don't think he will like it to much when he fails either.
Good luck with him.
I'm not looking forward to teenagers!
2006-12-20 02:33:36 · answer #3 · answered by beanietara 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take his temperature. If its under 100, make him go to school. Put breakfast on the table and tell him the time you expect him to walk out the door. Warn him that if he doesn't, you'll haul him to the car in his pj's and drive him to school anyways. Then do it. Put a spare set of clothes in the car for him to change into on the way. Do not let him stay home anymore. He's abusing your trust and playing on your sympathies.
If you don't want to do that, then go dump cold water on him. I bet a wet bed would get him up.
Make new rules. Staying home means staying in bed all day with no toys, electronics, tv, computer, etc. He has to nap after lunch. If he miraculously becomes better mid-day, take his butt to school. I like the first option better though. A couple days to school in pj's and he'll figure out you mean business!
2006-12-20 02:24:04 · answer #4 · answered by Velken 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm 13 and I occassionally feel like that, but I get up... Anyway, don't ever let him do it again. Scream and yell or whatever to get him up. If he's in high school, then bad grades can ruin chances at a good college deal. If he doesn't get up, then take away any video games he has, take away internet privileges, and phone privileges, anyway, about 14 days of missed school, then you will be charged for not getting him to school and have to go to court. Tell him that he is getting you into trouble and that you are taking away his privileges. Good Luck and don't take any trash from him!
2006-12-21 14:31:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Teenagers tend to play a lot , and if they see it works once they will do it as much as they can , i think u should force him to stay in bed all day if he says he is sick or else when he suddenly feels good as he says then give him some hard work to do. But if u think its over you all then ask a specialist how to deal with this problem.
2006-12-20 03:33:44 · answer #6 · answered by AlinaU 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has a temperature, he stays home, if he doesn't he goes to school.
If he has a temperature, you need to stay home from work (family leave act), and he needs to stay in bed, no TV, no Radio, no Ipod, If he feels like reading, I suggest a Math book, or Social Studies book.
If your child is too sick to go to school you must support him by taking care of him. The key is "too sick to go to school", thousands of kids are in school right now with a real headache, or upset stomache, but without a fever, diarrhea, or throwing up there is no reason to miss school, or work for that matter.
2006-12-20 07:55:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well you could drag him out of bed or tell him you will ground him from everything if he doesn't stop lying about being sick or talk to him about why he keeps acting this way if it is just because he doesn't wanna go make him go or if there is other reasons sort it out OR you could always simple do this tell him you have to take his temp the recital way! I'm sure that'll make him wanna go to school!
2006-12-20 03:31:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait...I have an idea. How about YOU do YOUR job as his mother and make him go to school. No temperature? Not throwing up everywhere? Not dying from explosive diarrhea? Then get his *** out of bed and send him on his merry way!
Social services? Truancy officers? The school? I can't even believe you tried to employ their help! What, you're afraid your kid will be angry with you, so you try to get the rest of the world to do YOUR disciplining for you?
2006-12-20 08:03:59 · answer #9 · answered by Barrett G 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The days he wakes up sick, take him to the doctor. And then make him stay in his room for the rest of the day. Bring his meals to his room, everything. Don't let him come out except to go to the bathroom. Make him stay there until bed time. Tell him that everytime he wakes up sick, that's what his day will be. It will stop.
2006-12-20 02:27:26 · answer #10 · answered by Jessie P 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋