Do you think I'm too strict about mi girl's bras?

Question

My 13 yo girl has breasts more developed then most girls her age. I'm a very caring mom, so I make her wear bras that give proper support and really protect her breasts. She doesn't like the bras I got her, says they are uncomfortable, suck, etc. But I'm sure they are great bras and I've been really strict on this point. She keeps complaining, but she's a wonderful girl and doesnt't rebel, though sometimes she gets somewhat mad at me. I tell her it's for her best, I worry bout her, love her so much. I treat her with much love, and this makes things easier. Once she disobeyed, but she's a so good girl that she regreted, told me and apologized. I forgave and just make her promise she'll always wear the bras I gave her.Her bras are like the one at http://www.anita.com/de/en/0,1,104,1478,39236__products-detail.htm A great bra, I wear one too, but she complains it's hot and has 4 hooks, which in my opinion is a great thing. After all, moms know best, I'm her mom and love her so much

Answer 1

I don't think that you are strict. But maybe she should get some bra's that she feels good in. The one Tyra Banks usesare great!The ones that lift and separatewithout it looking all weird

Answer 2

I understand that you think you are doing the best for her, but if she complains all the time and says it's uncomfortable, why would you make her wear it? You are being really controlling. Yes, it might be a great bra for YOU, but you are not in her skin so you don't know how it feels on her. Perhaps you should take her out shopping one day, a full day of bra shopping to find ones that support her properly AND are comfortable. They are out there - but you need to listen to her complaints and try to find a solution that works for her, not you, as she is the one who is going to be wearing it. An uncomfortable bra is horrible, you spend all day fidgeting, itching, readjusting but it never helps. She is at a difficult age, all her friends probably have cute little bright coloured trendy bras and she's stuck with that horrible grandma bra (no offence intended, but I don't think anyone younger than 50 would go near that thing by choice).
Seriously, cut the umbilical cord and let her make some of her own choices. By all means give her advice about the size, but if she says it's uncomfortable don't make her get it! She'll be happier and stop resenting you, and you should be happier too because of that. Good luck : )

Answer 3

Go bra shopping with her until you find one that she likes and you approve of. It may be a very fine bra tha she has already in your opinion, but only she can say if it works for her. Since she thinks it's uncomfortable, go shopping a find a bra that you both like. I am sorry but the bra that you make her wear now is not at all suited for a 13 year old girl, it's an ugly granny bra! Find her something that is cute but has good support. She is probably embarrassed in the bra she has now! Victoria's Secret is a good store!

Answer 4

There was a girl with a problem like this on here sevral weeks ago. She hated her bras because they were hot and itchy, etc..., although her mother made her wear them. Eventually she became so frustrated that she cut up her bras in front of her mother, and then the mother went and bought her full body ones (think corset). Be glad that hasn't happened yet (unless it already has and she was your daughter)
There are several things that you could do.
1) Take her out shopping and buy bras that both of you approve of
2) Let her wear bras of her chosing for certain days (maybe weekends or on holidays or fridays)
3) Buy her bras that she likes, perhaps for the holidays
4) Keep on making her wear the bras and have her resent you until she rebels, or resents you through her adult life.
I understand that you have her best interests at heart, but nothing good will happen if you continue to force her to wear these bras. She most likely feels akward because of her chest, and also because she does not have the same types of bras that her friends have, as well as not liking the bra itself- she finds it uncomfortable, not to mention the added minus of wearing the same type of bra your mother does. Perhaps you could buy her bras with just as much support but not as many hooks, or maybe even wear two bras at once- my cousin had a 32 DD at 14, and would wear one regular bra and then a sports bra on top of that. But good luck whatever you do.
Here is a link for a store that sells very good bras that are supportive, and is popular with teens, as well as adults
http://www2.victoriassecret.com/category/?cgnbr=OSBRPZZZZZZ
And here is another link- they sell bras that are very supportive, and a bit more feminine
http://balicompany.com/styles/landing.asp?styleCategory=bra

Answer 5

wel i developed at a young age and have very large breasts and have had the same problem with not agreeing on what bras to wear. the only thing i can say is that my mom and i just looked really hard for bras that are both attractive and have alot of support because i wasn't comfortable wearing older woman bra styles..it'll cost a little more ...that's the only down side

Answer 6

i think ur being a good mom for caring like that but just because shes bigger chested she does not need old fashioned bras. Im a 32G and have no real choice in the matter and i used to be embarrased to get changed infront of my school friends. Try and find a happy medium with the style simple but not old fashioned. No padding or anything like that i would not let any kid walk round in a wonder bra!!! i think you have the right idea just compramise a little you sound like a great mom

Answer 7

I your are trying to help and those give alot of supprt but even for a 14 year old they would be uncomfortable and they are almost like wearing a sports bra all the time. Im not say you should get a push up bra but maybe theris a medium were it supports her but she is comfortable in them.

Answer 8

I think u should back off a bit. Let her wear the type of bras she wants 2 it is of course her body and if the 1s she is wearing now are uncomfortable 4 her then she shouldn't wear them. Every1s body is diferent. Take her to a shop a help her pick bras that u both agree on.

Answer 9

You are right, but at the same time...she may want variety. The support bras are great, but VERY ugly and uncomfortable. Agree to get her some of the bras she likes if she wears the support bras.If anything, she could wear them to sleep instead of during the day. (Wearing a bra to sleep prevents sagging)

Answer 10

Just because your a mom doesn't mean you know whats best, get that stupid stereotype out of your head. A good bra is one that fits and is COMFORTABLE. There are plenty of bras that are for bigger breasted girls that are comfortable to. You are to strict, you don't even care about her comfort. Besides they are her undergarments and as long as she has some on let her wear what she wants.

Answer 11

You can get nice bras that don't look like that. My 59 year old mother wears that style! 4 hooks on the back of a 13 year old is embarassing. You can get her good support bras that look cute and don't cost a ton. Please take pity on her and take her to a department store. Get her a bra fitting in the store and see what they have. Just because she's big doesn't mean she has to wear a horrible looking bra. http://www.sears.com/sr/javasr/product.do?cat=Intimates&pid=018A0255000&vertical=CLTH&subcat=Bras&BV_SessionID=@@@@1011649778.1166627505@@@@&BV_EngineID=cceiaddjjidklfdcefecemldffidfko.0 is decent, boring but decent. Get her something that is smooth on the front, full coverage, and has straps the width of her index finger. For that matter, get you both some cute bras!