granddaugher (2) still live in the house with his spouse and he wants to go there christmas morning, without me, to see his granddaughter, in her own environment, open the gifts we bought her. should i be fine with this?
2006-12-20 01:23:35 · 16 answers · asked by CANDIE P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
YOUR KEYWORD IS "WE"..IT'S TIME FOR HIM TO BEGIN IN INCLUDING YOU ALSO...GOODLUCK
2006-12-20 01:26:43 · answer #1 · answered by justmenothinelse 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Three years? And he doesn't want you going over there while his daughter and granddaughter open up the gifts that you helped buy them? Three years together? If hes daughter (25) is in good terms with you, I do not see why you cant go. That's not fair. What would happen if you guys get married? Will he leave you out in the cold too? Why hasn't he gotten divorced yet? Is it because he still has feelings for his supposedly soon to be ex-wife? My husband has 2 kids with his ex wife. Last Christmas we decided the kids would open their gifts at OUR home. I mean, that's only fair!! I personally would not be OK with it. I would talk to him and tell him that the kids should go over to your house the day after Christmas or what not to open the Christmas gifts in your house. If you are soon going to be his wife (and I don't know this) he will have to include you into family gatherings soon. Unless you are OK with being kept away at all times.
2006-12-20 11:01:36 · answer #2 · answered by Leyanis 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why haven't either one of you gotten a divorce yet? It seems to me that you really have no choice in the matter. What are you going to do, go to this women's house and ruin the holiday for everyone involved, especially the child. This would obviously cause a scene. And make you the bad person. My suggestion would be to do something with your time while he is gone. Have plans after he returns and just deal with it. You really don't have a choice. And don't allow it to ruin your holiday. He isn't going there to spend the day is he. Just open gifts and then the two of you will have your day together.Good luck and God bless****
2006-12-20 09:47:45 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to be generous about this. He is trying to do the right thing for a little kid. You're not invited because it would upset his wife. Just tell him you want special time with him on this day too.
Also- look at the long term here. Where is this relationship going? Unless you guys divorce your respective spouses and eventually marry each other- or at least commit to a long term relationship- you will always be in limbo.
2006-12-20 10:02:10 · answer #4 · answered by peggy j 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It has to be fine, what can you do about this? It will be embarrassing for you two to be there on the christmas morning, seeing each other, when its should be a happy thing for everyone. There is nothing you can do and maybe you should think about a seperate day when you can meet and still have the christmas fun.
2006-12-20 09:34:53 · answer #5 · answered by Denise T 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Too bad for you. He obviously does not want an actual divorce or he would have done that by now. You should be fine with this. Don't ruin Christmas for other people. Take a day trip to the beach or mountains if you have nowhere esle to go.
2006-12-20 09:27:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
NO! You should first re-evaluate your current living arrangements! Do you want to be with someone that would not include you in something like this? I would tell him that there is no sense in having that "fake family environment". They are no longer together and new traditions need to be made and that they are more than welcome to your home for the holidays (excluding "her") or stay his butt at home. If he can't respect that, which of course is compromise, then he needs to re-think things.
2006-12-20 09:43:09 · answer #7 · answered by LaReyna 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No it is not fine. If you both have moved on from your ex's and you have been living together for 3 years he should accept you as his other half. I would not aprove of this and not put up with it. You need to sit down and discuss with him how you feel. That little girl may one day be your step granddaughter and its not fair to her that he is not including you. He is in the making of a disfunctional family. Talk to him maybe talk to his kids and see how they feel and let them know you are not there to hurt them. Was there problems with you in the past. Is there a reason why your boyfriend doesn't include you. If there is it needs to be remadied because the two of you are obviously together so the family needs to accept you out of respect for your boyfriend
2006-12-20 09:37:07 · answer #8 · answered by BabyDolll128 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
The important thing is the daughter and the granddaughter. The wife may not want you in her house. I wouldn't!
2006-12-20 09:31:52 · answer #9 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
If he does not want to bring you , then give him some space and trust him. That is what true love is all about. Be confident that he will "return" to you because if he does not, he was never yours in the first place.
2006-12-20 09:29:34 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
him and his wife are not divorced, so there may be some hurt feeling's involved there, maybe she is not the one who wanted to separate. maybe seeing u would hurt her, i would be gracious enough to stay home, and let him see his grandaughter. maybe his wife feels unconfortable with u around, can't blame her. if he was divorced, and married to u, might be a different story.
2006-12-20 10:09:57 · answer #11 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋