everyone tells me I did the right thing by letting him go (cause of his drug probelm) I love him enough to let him go and find himself cause he's lost and has three children..why doesn't he see that I loved him enough to let him go and figure things out and find himself and learn about himself why does he hate me?? I love the guy and want him to realize on his own that he's messing up his life with drugs why does he hate me?? And in turn has his family hating me to>>>?? y? I know I did the right thing!! UY doesn't he see that? its been 4 years and he still hates me and he still has the same problem.
2006-12-20 01:15:44 · 14 answers · asked by Wendy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can't I have his daughter to raise I have no time to deal with a drug dude!
2006-12-20 01:19:58 · update #1
I can't aloow my daughter to be around someone who is like that she'll think that's how its suppose to be, and its not...this guy needs professional help I don't know about drugs and helping him get over something he's been dealing with for 12 years now. I tried for 6 years I can't anymore.
2006-12-20 01:21:22 · update #2
I did everything and he know's why I left him..intervention with his family everything and nothing worked he thinks he has no problem...so I left. and we weren't married.
2006-12-20 01:27:35 · update #3
NO I'm not his mother he's 33 he needs to pick himself up cause if I do it all the time he'll never know whats it like to do things on ur own..he'll always take me for granted that I'm always there and I did that for him for 4 years and I can't be strong for him he needs to be strong forhimself cause I won't be here forever.
2006-12-20 01:32:45 · update #4
stick it out. remember hes a drug attic.
2006-12-20 01:18:21 · answer #1 · answered by DASH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have done everyone an injustice by not still being his friend, sex or no sex, but his FRIEND!! Take it a step further, yes, I understand about your daughter as well too, but are you going to show your daughter how to be shallow? Or would you rather show your daughter how to be a true friend to someone who is down and needs help? COMPASSION?? He hates you because YOU left him when he needed you the most! Do you not see that he already truly believes he's lost everything and that your not being there just backs up what's in his mind, so that he feels there is no hope out there at all??
Do you understand that you cannot condemn this man, but try to understand what brought him to the point of doing what he is doing? Help him find the answer? PICK HIM UP WHEN HE FALLS?? TELL HIM HE CAN DO IT???
COMPASSION before the PASSION!
2006-12-20 01:30:15 · answer #2 · answered by whydiduaskthis? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in your shoes and it's the drugs talking not him for you did do the right thing not only for him but for the kids and yourself. Untill he admits he has a problem he will hate you for you made him face it when he didn't and still dosen't want to face it. It's the drugs of why he is the way he is so go about your life the way you need to and know that yes you did do right and that hopefuly in time if the drugs don't kill him first that he will too and then maybe he will thank you for making him face his problem. Keep your Chin up and Happy Holiday's.
2006-12-20 01:24:07 · answer #3 · answered by outlawprincess5321 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you love him and you want him to see that you made the right decision by letting him go. But sometimes it takes longer for people to see that. 4 years is a long time but he's still doing the same thing (drugs) and since he's still on it, he's not going to think clearly. So if I were you I wouldn't even be worrying about it because you need to concentrate on you now. You are not responsible for his downfalls. Once you realize that...the better off you will be.
2006-12-20 01:22:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as he is doing drugs, his perception will be the same. When he is clean he will think clearly and differently. Don't take everything he says to you to heart. It's the drugs talking. Give him time to work out his problem and get clean. I know it's been 4 years but addiction takes a long time in some people. He will see you in a different light when he stops doing destructive things to himself.
2006-12-20 01:20:54 · answer #5 · answered by Andrea D. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing. You can't get someone off drugs. Only he can do that. You must save yourself and your family. He may never see that you did the right thing because his mind is clouded by drugs. It's a hard road for you, I know. Been there. STAY STRONG.
2006-12-20 01:31:55 · answer #6 · answered by tellme.lies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's obviously got some internal issues going on. Until he straightens those out he's not going to be able to see clearly.
As for you, move on. It's great that you tried to help him, but you can't force him to change. That's something he has to do on his own. It's not your job to try and fix him. You're fighting a losing battle and don't need that stress and sadness in your life. It's been 4 years and he still hasn't change? He's not going to.
2006-12-20 01:22:14 · answer #7 · answered by Jenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he doesn't have in him to stop and resents the fact that you remind him of that. Also his family probably (unknowingly )would love to have you there supporting him and helping to solve their problem child. Don't expect him to fit in a "box" you created-or a personality. Its sad but maybe he is just not capable- at least at this point in time. His good side- the one you love, still loves you I am sure, but the druggy,weak side is dominate right now- that person isn't worth your time and worry. Wish him well and try to see that. Good luck.
2006-12-20 01:22:14 · answer #8 · answered by ARTmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop using your heart for thinking and use the right one....the one above your neck. Love n stuff are fine. But you have a life to live and a kid to take care of. Do whats good for you and them. There is no need to feel bad about that.
2006-12-20 01:28:21 · answer #9 · answered by Lord Of Lust 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i dont think u love him because if u did u would help him get over it u wouldent just let him go u would have to help him if someone rilly loves another person they cant let them go they stay with them u may love him ur just makeing a nistaje by letting him go if u rilly love him u would help him get over his drug problem and be with him dont let him go over something that can be fixed mabe he cant quite because he loves u people do drugs to forget about things mabe his trying to forget his pain over u
2006-12-20 01:24:44 · answer #10 · answered by trish m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did you try and help him through when you were together? probably not. to realise on his own well you more than likely didnt even give him an explanation as to why you left him. TIP: when in a relationship give them a chance help them through tough times thats what a relationship is for other than kids also. gl hf MC
2006-12-20 01:22:49 · answer #11 · answered by luckydo6 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋