He sais that I am holding him back when in fact I think he is holding me back. He doesn't work and he doesn't do anything around the house to help. I work, go to school, go to all the parent teacher meetings. I understand that because of the stress I have gained weight but he shouldnt judge. He wants to be out with his friends 24/7 and I can't even speak to my sister on the phone. He sais I hold him back because if he was single he could do whatever he wanted. True, but he is not single and he is not supporting the house. Maybe I am making a big deal out of this but I think that he should be happy that he always have food on the table, clean clothes, the house is always clean. I own the house, I own the 2 new cars. What should I do?
2006-12-20 01:06:32 · 30 answers · asked by kayla_lopez_2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have tried telling him to leave, I also called the police to get him out but he is smart. The police told us that I can afford to rent a room for the night that if things came to that point he would be the one to stay with the house because he doesn't have anywhere to go. He doesn't want to leave.
2006-12-20 01:15:53 · update #1
You already know what you need to do. He's dead weight. My boyfriend hasn't worked in a long time, I'm pregnant with our first and I simply told him to step up or get out. He didn't believe me but he understands now. I'm withholding all "lovin" in carnal sense until he gets a job. I have also told him to start helping around the house since he doesn't have a job. Your man is holding you back and he's trying to take the focus off that by placing blame on you. He will continue to do so as long as you let him, for years even. Trust me, I'm right there with you at the moment and I just decided I deserved better. My man starts a job in the next day or two and he tells me every day where he has looked, who called and what he is doing to make things better. He's not the type to do this either-AT ALL. But one can be a doormat for so long before enough is enough. You'll be so glad you kicked in the but to get moving or get out. I promise. Life is too short to raise a grown man.
2006-12-20 01:14:17 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should really tell your husband to do something about this. If you don't, he will just take everything right now as a grant and he will just continue on this behaviour. Its better to tell him early and there is no point for you to do all these things by yourself. Your husband should be a part of this. I know this will be a really hard and he might not accept. But he really doesn't change then i think its time for you to leave this man and let him have a screwed up life. There is no point to be in a marriage when a man cares more about his wife than his friends. This is over the top and you should do something about it before it is too late.
2006-12-20 09:12:40 · answer #2 · answered by Denise T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm, you are holding him back from...what?
Tell him you've let go of him and go file for divorce. He sounds like a chump anyway, and my advice is to Dump the Chump.
I think he's holding YOU back. And he's abusive.
Let him go be single, he's not happy, you're not happy and that's not a good atmosphere to raise your children in. I bet he wont be happy when he has to pay child support, waaah waaaah...Just meet with an attorney WHILE you're still married and make SURE he cant get his mitts on 1/2 the house or your cars.
THEN file papers. It'll either wake him up or he'll leave. Either way, you're doing the right thing.
2006-12-20 09:09:45 · answer #3 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Had he been single he would have done a lot of heroic things. But now that he has chosen to marry he will have to be faithful to commitment. Thats what he promised you when he put on the wedding ring. No hard feelings but the guy is more like a parasite than your husband. Ask him to live like the man of the house or go out n seek his frreedom. Both are not possible same time.
2006-12-20 09:18:09 · answer #4 · answered by Lord Of Lust 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't sound very happy, and it sounds like you don't really need this man in your life. He is not contributing at all, anyway. Let him go get a taste of being single. Without the nice house and new car and loving wife supporting his unemployed tail. How can he do whatever he wants without a job to pay for all these things he wants to do? Let him go, girl, or he'll drag you down with him. Good Luck.
2006-12-20 09:13:49 · answer #5 · answered by Lotus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you are in love with this type of man. You know he is the one who is holding you back. He is lazy and disrespectful.
Ask yourself, what is it about him that you love? If you can't find anything good. You should make him leave. Why not do that, now, since he wants to be single. Give him what he wants, in the end it will probably be the best thing you ever done for yourself.
2006-12-20 09:14:17 · answer #6 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah change the locks, tell him to go out with his friends say ok baby do whatever u want and when he's gone (GIRL change the locks and make sure there's no other way for him to get in and then call the police and say ur separated and that he's trying to break in! That';s if u really want him out. Talk to his family do something..
2006-12-20 09:41:17 · answer #7 · answered by Wendy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your a wonderful person, because I wouldnt put up with his nonsense. Tell him hes is a grown azz man and he made the choice off marriage also so he knew what comes with it, and now he cant handle it. You own most everything so it seems like he cant do nothing for himself, if its anything he's holding himself back from the real world and what it has to offer. Let him miss out, and you keep doing your thing.
2006-12-20 09:11:20 · answer #8 · answered by Still Standing 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he is not single and it is time he faced up to his responsibilities. You have made it easy for him to slack off by taking over many of the duties while he stays at home. If he can't step up then I am sorry to tell you but you are better off without him. He doesn't sound like he contributes financially or supports you emotionally and why on earth have you left him stop you talking to your family on the phone.
Get him out of your house, get some self-esteem and get someone who is worthy of you.
2006-12-20 09:19:53 · answer #9 · answered by Bagpuss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
then what do you need him for????
a man that can not provide financially or support you mentally is usless.....if you only have him around for sexual pleasure...then you are paying way too much.Women don't have to pay for someone to poke them....you can get that anywhere....and probably a whole lot better.
Kick his Azz out of the house and see if he has it better out there....the only thing you seem to be holding him back from is his partying and most likely other women. You are being used.....wake up!
2006-12-20 09:12:35 · answer #10 · answered by Pinkie_&_the_Brain 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋