Since the failure rate of all marriages is 78% by the 15th year, should we return to arranged marriages?

Question

Parents would be wiser in picking a mate. We would not enter marrige with the head spinning expectation of lifelong rapture. Lust would be surplanted with respect and love.

Answer 1

I don't think it's an either/or proposition. Certainly parents should be involved in the decision, but many parents are no wiser than their children. Our culture glorifies sex and physical appearance and does very little to promote commitment and morality in a marriage. There are many contributing factors to failed marriages, but I believe one of the most significant is the overall lack of a standard for morality. I believe the Bible is that standard. So long as people are content to pursue gratification over commitment, marriages will be built on shaky ground.

Answer 2

It is not true that 78% of marriages end in divorce by the 15th year. The fact is that most first marriages last. Second and third marriages fail at a much higher rate than first marriages. Arranged marriages do tend to last longer than other marriages, but that is probably because the people involved in these marriages tend to be less likely to consider divorce as an option due to cultural or religious reasons. Arranging marriages for the youth in developed countries would not, in my view, result in fewer divorces, but rather in more. I think that we should teach our youth better ways of finding and keeping a mate. The main thing that causes divorce are fights over finances and yet we don't teach budgeting and personal finance in high schools or even college. In India, where virtually all marriages are arranged, the divorce rate is low, but the spousal murder rate is quite high. As tragic as high divorce rates are. I think that higher murder rates and lack of freedom for women would be even worse.

Answer 3

Actually, you are not far wrong. Arranged marriages work out SURPRISINGLY well. Reason being, both parties realise they are in this for the long haul. They work at it and often they grow to love eachother and mature together very well. It is a partnership and at first they have to get to know eachother, but it's astounding how they work and how so often they end up falling in love.

The usual marriage these days is often fickle. People not giving it enough time, opting out when the going gets tough, and thinking the grass is greener on the other side, or that lust is confused with love and leaping in, only to wake up sadder but wiser "this is not what I thought it would be".

If people actually realised marriage is also about respect, acceptance of others faults and working together and also being friends as well as lovers, things may work. Alot of marriages fail through sheer immaturity and inability to admit wrongs and too lazy and selfish to bother working through those "bad stages".

I'm not talking about the ones where one partner is absolutely and utterly horrific to live with to the point they make your life a living misery! I mean the ones where two people are quite capable of being a little less selfish and taking a bit more effort to work at their marriage.

I don't know if we should opt for arranged marriages, but I think we could learn a great deal from them and why they work! However, I'm not against them at all. people can indeed learn to love another if it's worked at. If love comes too easily to some people, they can often take it for granted and things can fall apart.

Answer 4

I question your statistics. I would also love to see what statistics you have on spousal abuse and domestic violence in societies where arranged marriage is the norm. But you probably don't have any because the women don't report them for fear of shaming the family. Respect and love should not, and will not be given simply because it is arranged that is should. In this country, we prize freedom above all else. The freedom to choose our way of life, our music, our clothing. A person may make a bad choice and reap the consequences of it. But it is, and will always be, his or her choice to make. And take it from me, marriage is not lifelong rapture. Nobody should expect that. You can expect the rewards of a still and quiet soul that is content in your love and your partner, but this takes work. Lots of it. To arrange a marriage for someone is to remove a challenge from their life and deny them the opportunity to grow stronger. And that, my friend, as we say in America, is a giant load of crap.

Answer 5

And how would an arranged marriage be better? You would be entering into a marriage with a stranger, who you may have nothing in common with, who may be abusive with drinking or drug issues etc. The problem is everyone jumps into marriage without really thinking it through. You have to realize when you agree to marry someone its for life, not 1 or 2 years. Marriage is not like a car, if you don't like it you can trade it in. That's how marriage is treated now. No one goes into it thinking this is forever, they look at it as if I don't like it I can get a divorce and find someone else.

Answer 6

NO. Have you looked up the stats on arranged marriages. It's even worse. I think a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons. They are in lust not love, and once the lust is gone they are too.

Answer 7

Umm no I dont think so, I would not do an arrange marriage, I want to find that one perfect person for me, and love them for the rest of my life. Good luck in all you do!

Answer 8

These days marriage is a huge joke .People enter into it not knowing how hard it is . Marriage fails because couples take each other for granted .

Answer 9

if you think that people who are supposed to be in love, can't get there **** together, and don't make an effort to save there marriages continue to divorce,
what makes you think that people who were arranged would?
you are very ignorant. do a little more research.

Answer 10

Twenty one years of happiness with my soul mate. My parents still think she is the wrong girl for me.