2006-12-20 01:00:58 · 11 answers · asked by wannabrich69 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
HONEY LOTS OF PEOPLE HAVE CHILDREN THEY DON'T LIVE WITH. THE BEST THING TO DO IS ALWAYS BE CIVILIZED.
NEVER PUT THE MOTHER DOWN, ESPECIALLY TO YOUR CHILD, BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK OR FEEL, THAT CHILD LOVES HIS/HER MOM. IF YOU DO PUT THE MOM DOWN YOU GOTTA REMEMBER THAT IT DOESN'T HURT THE MOM BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T HEAR IT, BUT IT HURTS THE CHILD BECAUSE THAT'S THEIR MOM YOUR TALKING ABOUT.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO STAY WITH THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILD, IT COULD HARM THE CHILD MORE IF YOU STAY AND FIGHT A LOT. IT MAKES THE CHILD'S SELF ESTEEM LOW, AND THEY LOSE RESPECT FOR THEMSELVES AND THE PARENTS.
ITS MUCH BETTER TO SPLIT THAN TO STAY TOGETHER.
IF YOU DO DECIDE TO LEAVE JUST BE RESPECTFUL OF YOUR BABY MOM. JUST GO VISIT THE CHILD OFTEN, AND SHOW THEM THAT YOU STILL CARE ABOUT THEM.
EXPLAIN THAT YOU GUYS HAVE GROWN APART, BUT THAT YOU WILL NEVER STOP LOVING THEM (THE CHILD).
YOU CAN ALSO EXPLAIN THAT ITS NOT THE CHILD'S FAULT THE TWO OF YOU CAN'T BE TOGETHER.
CALL YOUR CHILD EVERYDAY,AND MAKE SURE THAT YOU AND THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILD ARE ON THE SAME PAGE. DISCIPLINE TOGETHER AS A TEAM, NOT TWO DIFFERENT TYPES OF DISCIPLINE BECAUSE YOU WILL ONLY MAKE THE CHILD CONFUSED.
IF YOU LOVE YOUR BABY MOTHER, BUT ARE JUST NOT IN LOVE WITH HER WORK WITH HER TO ENSURE THE BEST QUALITY OF LIFE ALL AROUND, TOGETHER OR NOT.
IF YOU FIND THAT YOU REALLY WANT TO LEAVE THEN GO SE A LAWYER THAT WILL HELP YOU WITH CHILD SUPPORT, VISITATION, HOLIDAYS, TRIPS, ECT.
BUT BE SURE THATS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT BEFORE YOU DO THAT.
HOPE THIS HELPS
HAVE A GOOD XMAS.
2006-12-20 01:19:26 · answer #1 · answered by celestialangel43 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in kinda the same situation but I am the mother and the babys daddy and I were not together till after we got dna results, and I love him but he dosent love me yet, and I know this, and if he decides that he dosent want to be with me, I would want him to tell me and it would hurt like heck but it is an adult issue and no parent should use a child as a pawn to control matters of the heart...Just because you dont love her anymore dosent mean that you dont love your child or are any less of a daddy...but if she is vindictive like that then you may want to try and establish equal custody and visitation first thru the courts...That way you cannot lose your kid
2006-12-20 01:13:37 · answer #2 · answered by luv2pur 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you gotta learn to let go of her, but its kinda hard seein as how u guys have a kid,a connection yall will have for life, i say still be friends with her and u guys can all spend time together when it comes to doing stuff with the kid, i mean the two of you have to work out an agreement u cant just leave and not see her, u have to think about how it will affect yalls child. communication is the answer, u both need to be reasonable and mature. ur child is looking up 2 u yall and u need to set an example and show him or her that even though u are apart yall can still be somewhat aof a family!!!
2006-12-20 01:05:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont beleive you actually fall out of love. once you love someone you always love them whether you remain compatible thats different. If you are unhappy in the relationship you shouldn't stay it will only cause more problems later. Try to find out why you are unhappy and try to work it out. As for the child you have rights and should not fear losing your child you can always go to court and seek custody or joint custody.
2006-12-20 01:04:55 · answer #4 · answered by benny619 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are laws in this country that prevent you from losing your child, whether you love your girlfriend or not. Go down to your local agency and file for visitation rights. You should file for child support, as well.
In the future, practice safe sex, my friend.
2006-12-20 01:56:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that the best way is just to stay together as a family, it is best for the child and you can see them. It is not fair for the child to lost their parents because they don't love each other anymore. Even though you don't love your girl friend anymore but I think that you should do it for your child because you love them and you care about them.
2006-12-20 01:06:57 · answer #6 · answered by Denise T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell her you don't feel the same way anymore and that you believe it is best if the both of you just talked to eachother when it has something to do with the baby......tell her that even if you are no longer her bf....you will always be a dad no matter what....and talking to her when it is only about the baby is the best way to go about it because if she still loves you than she can not be happy with just seeing you as a friend...that would be torcher for anyone
2006-12-20 01:04:52 · answer #7 · answered by Pinkie_&_the_Brain 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You go to court and get a court-ordered parenting agreement--you work out custody, visitation, support, holidays, birthdays, schooling, medical/etc.
That's how you deal with it.
And for future reference, don't do the crime if you can't do the time. Y'all know what Munya means by THAT!
2006-12-20 01:02:55 · answer #8 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with your g/f and tell her you hope she doesn't use that child as a pawn against you but instead will act like a civilized adult and don't make things harder than they have to be.
2006-12-20 01:06:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
But you had a child- so you are actually- like- married. You had a child-- can't just walk away know honey.
2006-12-20 01:04:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋