We have 2 kids together so I have to talk to him but he's nice when she's not around but when she is, he's screaming in the phone at me.
2006-12-20 00:34:45 · 37 answers · asked by Jersey Girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The girlfriend is an idiot. She is so insecure she sits there right up against him and listens to what I say and called me up screaming at me about things that weren't her business, etc.
2006-12-20 00:41:25 · update #1
Don't get upset with him, and don't scream back...(as hard as that may be). When he's finished screaming at you, then ask him if he is finished his screaming tirade....Just tell him it is not necessary to scream at you and you would appreciate it if he would be a little more respectful to you, and it is setting a bad example for the children. (Leave the girl out of it).
Also tell him that the next time he screams at you, you will hang up on him because you do not deserve to be treated like this. Do not scream back.... The next time he screams at you, tell him, Ok, I'm going to hang up now. You have to be consistent....if you keep your cool, he will ultimately have to change his behavior. If you're not screaming, he can't scream back and vise versa....
2006-12-20 00:40:11 · answer #1 · answered by favrd1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing you can do about him, but you can control the way you react to him. Hang up when he starts screaming at you, or just hold the phone away from your ear until he's done. Don't call him unless you absolutely have to. Whatever you do, don't start screaming back at him. Your kids don't need to hear that and it will just escalate his screaming. Next time when you talk to him and he's being nice, try to discuss this with and let him know how hard it is for you to talk about the kids when he's like that. (That will probably get you nowhere but it's worth a try). Good luck.
2006-12-20 00:42:08 · answer #2 · answered by rosecitylady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is impressed by the screaming,there is something wrong with her too.If my boyfriend was screaming at his ex,it sure wouldn't impress me,just the opposite.
Next time he is screaming at you on the phone,just lay it on the table and walk away,let him scream to the air.Turn some music on or something to let him know you are technically on the line,but don't ever speak to him.Let the phone off the hook for a good long time.Even after he hangs up,he won't be able to use his phone because the line to you is still open.I did this to my ex when he would call,really pissed him off cause he couldn't call anyone else while my phone was still connected.If nothing else,it is good for a laugh.
2006-12-20 00:50:25 · answer #3 · answered by stellablue1959 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go get yourself a tape recorder and a recording device...found at Radio Shack (they'll know, it's a little wire with suction cups that you attach to your phone's hand set, and the other end plugs into the tape recorder). Now...when he calls, have that set up and be ready to record him. Make sure you don't yell back, but calmy keep asking him to quite down please that your ear hurts and you can't understand what he is saying. Let him know you'll hang up soon if he doesn't.
Oh, and see if you can't record the date and time right after the call.
Now...you have some more evidence in your fight for divorce. :)
Get him good! Wish you the best. He sounds like a jerk and you'll find someone better, I'm sure of it.
2006-12-20 00:43:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for u girl. I have been divorced from my kids father for 3years now and we are both remarried. I can always tell when he is talking to me away from his wife because he is pretty civil to me. I know she is around when he is short with me and rude. I think they do this because they think if they talk nice with her around she'll think they still love us or want to be with us. If the guys are rude or in ur case yell at u they think the new woman will feel secure. I personally think this is childish but then again we are talking about men and face they are childish. If I were in ur shoes and I am just blow him off and hang up if he starts his crap. If he ever ask why u hang up on him just simply tell him u deserve a little respect being the mother of his children and chose to only speek to him if he can show that respect. This may help but my ex still shows his *** when he gets the urge around her. Good Luck.....
2006-12-20 00:45:54 · answer #5 · answered by Lucinda M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need that especially when you are going through a divorce. Tell him if he can't talk to you nicely, then you won't talk to him at all and write things down or hang up the phone. Every time he yells at you on the phone, hang up. If he is yelling at you in person, walk away. It's the best thing to do for you and your children.
2006-12-20 01:01:19 · answer #6 · answered by Andrea D. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow sounds like youve had a lucky escape, at least if hes being an a#rse you wont be wondering if splitting up was the right thing to do! I wouldnt worry about what his new girlfriend thinks it'll be her one day and she'll know exactly where you were coming from.
Send his new girlfriend a "deepest sympathys" card! it wont solve much but ul feel better!
2006-12-20 00:46:22 · answer #7 · answered by mum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you laugh at her the next time she flips out. People with easy-to-push buttons get even more irritated when they're being laughed at by someone who they are jealous of.
If anything, you'll start laughing even more when you see her reaction.
I feel bad for you though... you must be very broken-hearted over this whole affair. Your ex-husband sounds like a nimrod, so if anything, it's for the best.
Never forget to give your kids encouragement and hug them as much as you can... otherwise they may start to emulate the anger given off by your husband and his *****-*** girlfriend.
2006-12-20 03:09:53 · answer #8 · answered by jons_plan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, for a start it sounds like you are well rid of him, and his new girlfriend is welcome to him!
As for the screaming, just hang up if he ever starts doing that. As soon as he starts to raise his voice, calmly put down the phone. Next time you speak, explain that you wont be shouted at. Keep it up, he'll learn.
2006-12-20 00:41:15 · answer #9 · answered by helly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't mean to do this to hurt you---he's trying to show her that the relationship you once had is over.
Next time, wait until he finishes yelling. Then quietly say, " You don't have to yell." Whatever you do, don't yell back as it will only escalate things. If he continues, ask calmly if you can talk about this later. If he says no, tell him you have something to do that just came up and that you will talk to him later(when she is not around).
2006-12-20 00:41:14 · answer #10 · answered by tbonz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋