A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick
one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed
the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.
"Hello?"
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked,
"Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, he boss asked,
"Is anybody else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman".
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked,
"May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy", whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the
earpiece on the phone, the boss asked,
"What is that noise?"
"A helicopter", answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered,
"The search team just landed a helicopter."
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked,
"What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...
"ME."
2006-12-19 23:54:46 · 16 answers · asked by **SARAH** 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
WHY PARENTS DRINK!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-12-19 23:55:42 · update #1
like it!!! shall remember that one and pass it off down the pub as my own,,,,,, ha ha ha
2006-12-19 23:58:38 · answer #1 · answered by mikey101 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!?
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows:
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."
2006-12-20 08:03:35 · answer #2 · answered by j.jones82 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Great joke! I remember doing something like that! but not to that extreme!
2006-12-20 08:15:57 · answer #3 · answered by michmac75 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well done sarah that was brill well worth full marks 10/10
2006-12-20 08:46:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
:D I cracked a smile. Good one I havnt heard it before.
2006-12-20 07:58:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats brilliant, havent laughed that loud for ages! xx
2006-12-20 08:27:33 · answer #6 · answered by button moon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bit of a long joke but i liked it hahahahahahahaha
2006-12-20 08:08:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice one! i never heard it before! thnx for the laugh!
2006-12-20 08:06:54 · answer #8 · answered by Space Cadet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice one
2006-12-20 10:02:17 · answer #9 · answered by mitch w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excellent!!! I love it.
2006-12-20 08:09:44 · answer #10 · answered by Jo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋