2006-12-19 23:40:03 · 8 answers · asked by buffy Fan 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
You invented Tipp Ex didn't you? Correct me if I'm wrong.
2006-12-19 23:44:55 · answer #1 · answered by JOHN M 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a quick story about the bond formed between a little girl and a
group of building workers.
It's allegedly true and makes you want to believe in the goodness of
people
and that there is hope for the human race.
A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant building plot. One
day a gang of building workers turned up to start building a house on the
empty plot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all
the
activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.
She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold, more
or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot.
They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch
breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel
important.
They even gave her very own hard hat and gloves and at the end of the
first
week they presented her with a pay envelope containing two pounds in 10p
coins.
The little girl took her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they
take the money she had received to the bank the next day to start a
savings
account.
When they got to the bank the cashier was tickled pink listening to the
little girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site and the fact
she had a 'pay packet'.
"You must have worked very hard to earn all this" said the bank cashier.
The little girl proudly replied, "I worked all last week with the men
building a big house."
"My goodness gracious," said the cashier, "Will you be working on the
house
again this week, as well?"
The little girl thought for a moment and said, "I think so. Provided those
wankers at Jewsons deliver the f*cking bricks."
2006-12-20 07:45:13 · answer #2 · answered by blackduck1001 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The traveling incense salesman was walking along the dusty road out of New Delhi when he realized he needed a place to sleep. He saw the root gatherers hut in the distance and headed for it. He knocked at the entrance-way and the root gatherer came to the door and said "Yes". The incense salesman said, " I am a traveling incense salesman and I need a place to sleep for the night." The root gatherer said, " You are welcome to sleep here, but you will have to sleep up in the loft with my daughter." He answered "OK" and climbed the ladder to the loft. The next morning he came down and squatted down next to the root gatherer and accepted a cup of tea. The root gatherer asked, "Did you enjoy sleeping with my daughter?". The salesman said, "Yes I did very very much, but I have to ask, why was there rice in her mouth?". The root gatherer replied, "Oh, that is not rice, that is maggots, she has been dead for two years."
2006-12-20 23:51:51 · answer #3 · answered by iknowtruthismine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar. The pirate has a peg-leg, a hook and an eye patch. "How'd you end up with a peg-leg?" asks the sailor. "I was swept overboard in a storm," says the pirate.
"A shark bit off me whole leg."
"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about the hook?"
"We were boarding an enemy ship, battling the other sailors with swords. One of them cut me
"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "And the eye patch?" "A seagull dropping fell in me eye," replied the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.
Said the pirate.
"It was the first day with the hook."
2006-12-20 10:21:48 · answer #4 · answered by Cowboy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A couple of drinkin' buddies, who are airplane mechanics, are in the hangar at Logan; it's fogged in and they have nothing to do. One of them says to the other, "Man, have you got anything to drink?"
The other one says, "Nah, but I hear you can drink jet fuel, and that it will kinda give you a buzz."
So they drink it, get smashed and have a great time; like only drinkin' buddies can do.
The following morning, one of them gets up and is surprised he feels good, in fact, he feels great - NO hangover! The phone rings, it's his buddy.
The buddy says, "Hey, how do you feel?"
He said, "I feel great!"
His buddy says, "I feel great too! You don't have a hangover?"
He says, "No -that jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover - we ought to do this more often."
"Yeah, we could, but there's just one thing....."
"What's that?"
"Did you fart yet?"
"No"
"Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in Phoenix!"
2006-12-20 07:47:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why do Gorillas have big noses?
Because they have big fingers. LOL
2006-12-20 07:43:12 · answer #6 · answered by benzeeno619 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
a man walks into a bar...
ouch!
2006-12-20 10:03:02 · answer #7 · answered by Janey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋