My friend, Sara loves this guy, Tom And Tom asked her out recently. But Sara's mom doesn't allow her to get into relationship nor going out with guys alone. So Sara rejected Tom. Tom was rather down after the rejection. He knows Sara loves him too. They used to chat using messenger online. They longed to go dates, but Sara is afraid of her mom's knowing. She doesn't want to take risk. Yet, Tom is kinda crazy over her. He knows that they cant keep continue this great relationship they hav till her mom become less strict.It will be a long time before things changes. He can't wait.
So he chosed to keep a distance away from Sara. Yeh, sara was sad too.
Folks, what do you think they should do? Or rather, Sara should do? She really dont wish to lose Tom yet she can't forbids her mom's words.
2006-12-19 22:19:45 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wouldn't want to lose the friendship or anything.. Both are 15 and 16 respectively. Long relationship till marriage?..not sure.
2006-12-19 22:32:49 · update #1
And, compromise or talk with parents is way out of topic. I mean, it's impossible. =/
2006-12-19 22:34:15 · update #2
Well... dang. How many people in this world have this same problem?!
If Tom really loves Sara, he would wait. Hasn't he ever heard of the saying, "I'll wait forever if I have to; I love you that much"? Seriously. If he's not even bothering to wait for her, he's not worth going after, let alone loving.
Another factor; the AGE. You didn't really say how old they were, and that's a huge part in this thing. So I'm guessing that they're around 15-18. You know, parents these days are watching their kids so much more closely, because so many of them are having unprotected sex and doing drugs, flunking school. Her mother being like this is just a way to protect Sara.
And another thing; if Sara loves Tom, and she honestly thinks he's worth it, she needs to tell her mom. Sometimes, moms just don't understand how us teens feel. She needs to understand that dating helps us grow; if her mother met Tom, would that change anything? If Tom was really sweet, caring, polite, and showed a genuine love for her daughter, she might reconsider.
If she's not allowed to go out with guys alone, ask if they can double date so Sara won't really be all by herself.
I personally believe in the standing up part. If you don't stand up for yourself now, you'll have to eventually. Sara needs to make her mom realize she's growing up and that she's not a girl, but she's not exactly a woman either. She's in the middle, and this is the time when things matter most. Everything that happens in this period of life will impact your life some way.
Parents can only guide their children and give them the right advice along the way, but it is ultimately the child that chooses their path of life.
I hope this helped.
2006-12-19 22:37:19 · answer #1 · answered by clueless.idiot 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I guess you have used Hypothetical names here to conceal identity.
Anyway, both of them should trust and believe in themselves and each other. The boy should try to convince girl's mother that he is the right choice for their daughter and he will really always love her and take good care of her.
The girl should also try to convince her parents that Tom is the only one and best guy for her. She cannot love anyone else other than Tom. And if they get married they will live happily ever after.
Weddings should not be done without blessings of parents, it wont be fruitful so if you are determined you can do it and get into a solid loving relationship for sure.
But the key is, show your parents that the love is really true and committed
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Ah i didnt know the age, they are too young to fell in love kind of things, ask them to study hard get good marks, make a good career, stand on their feet, then decide what they want to do. Till then they can remain good close friend within boundaries.
2006-12-20 06:27:02 · answer #2 · answered by RedFerrari 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They should just talk to each other and hang out. There is no need to tell their mom that they're dating, now is there? I mean, they could at least be close friends for a few years until she gets a bit older. Sara should continue talking to Tom and getting closer to him. What could it hurt? Good night!
2006-12-20 06:36:38 · answer #3 · answered by anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest Sara and Tom to maintain thier friendship as long as they probably can.Coz friendship wont hurt anybody here.
2006-12-20 06:49:13 · answer #4 · answered by Sheeth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old is sara? because i started dating when i was 12, and if my parents would have told me i wasnt allowed to i would of just laughed, because that is psycho conservative crap. if i was her i would date the guy but make sure he is well aware my mom couldnt know about it. i would sneak behind my moms back. now that may not be the best thing to do, but her mom shouldn't be so ridiculous.
2006-12-20 06:31:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
in their condition,... sarah's mom is the problem,but she is the mother..she only protects her daughter...
maybe sara is too young for a relationship like that so she do that...
If they love each other they can wait until the rigth time will come.....
2006-12-20 07:44:58 · answer #6 · answered by isaiah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obey your parents bad things usually happen when you don't. They truly only have your best interest at heart. So please try and talk to them and ask them why they made the choice they made, and at least try to understand. How old are you anyways?
2006-12-20 06:32:07 · answer #7 · answered by Alicia S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋