what should i do?

Question

ok here's the facts. i'm an 18 year old girl. black/filipino and very pretty i'm told. i've got low self-esteem and not alot of people around to support me so i stay that way alot. the only boyfriend i've ever had was a guy i met online, we broke up nearly 2 years ago and it majorly dropped my self confidence. i'm a very nice person and affectionate almost to a fault. i worry that i'll scare guys off cause i'm clingy. i'm not like a stalker or anything but i have a child-like quality to me. my main problem is i'm VERY shy. i open up after a while but no one takes the effort to try to get that far and that sometimes makes me worry if i'm not good enough. i like making people happy and sometimes people take atvantage of that and it messes with my emotions. any advice on what i should do would be greatly appreciated. thank you for your time :)

Answer 1

so the problem is that you wanted to rid of your shyness.. but the fact is that every woman goes through it. filipinas are known to be shy so that is why it is in "our" culture. the real problem for you is not about being shy but rather being insecure. increase your morale: have a day of shopping, treat yourself to a solon and more importantly know your "good points". by konwing that, people wont take advantage of you, take your time no one is pressuring you. you are you. and by the way dont trust always the people you met online, many of them are perverts..

Answer 2

A lot of teenagers are shy - I was when I was your age. The good news is that for the most part, you'll "outgrow it" as you mature and became more confident in who you are and what you want out of life.

Try to identify the source of your insecurity and think of ways you can remedy it. Do you have a strong, positive male role model in your life? Research has shown that a lot of girls who grow up without the care and attention of their father's have lower self-esteem. Try not to focus too much on whether you have a boyfriend or not. Instead, focus on yourself right now - such as furthering your education, career goals, inspiring hobbies, etc..

If people tell you you're pretty, believe them. :) It sounds as though you're kind and caring. Those are good qualities to look for in a person, and some day, the right guy will come along who will be patient in getting to know you. In the meantime, try to work on building a more positive self image. We all have faults - no one is perfect. So, focus on your positive attributes, and don't be afraid to be yourself around other people! If they like you, they like you; if they don't, they don't. That's life.

As for the people who take advantage of your kind nature, there will always be people like that. Realize they are the ones with the problem - not you! You need to set some boundaries in your relationships. Don't bend over backwards trying to be a people pleaser for those who give nothing in return. It's not a fair exchange, and it won't win their friendship. Friends like you for you, not for what you can do for them.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Yikes! clingy, child-like, and easily taken advantage of. I know you don't want to hear this (and please don't take offense) but you need to grow up. Your'e 18 yrs old, probably in college, or on your way to college. You should have been pretty damn mature by now, many girls are at this age. I think what you need to do is not concentrate on other people, but concentrate on yourself. Yeah being selfish is kinda wrong, but HEY its your life and other people shouldn't dictate how you live it. I'm not saying you should totally change your personality, but you should try to be more confident in yourself, you sound like an intelligent girl and I'm sure you are attractive. Don't worry about what guys think, just do what you need to do, trust me, somebody will come. Merry X-MAS :)

Answer 4

You're a sweet kid. I have a friend that was like you. I'll tell you what I told her.

Don't let your nerves get the better of you. Try to be outgoing. I know it seems hard, but just try it. Have faith in the fact that you ARE good enough. No matter what anyone says my dear. Just be approachable (kind, attentive, and supply your own input) and you'll find somebody worth their salt.

The clingy thing...just try not to smother him. Give him space when he needs it and love when he needs it. Plain and simple.

People pleasers have bad luck in relationships it seems...just be yourself and don't let people make you do things you wouldn't normally want to do.

Best of Luck and remember that you are indeed worthwhile.

Answer 5

really its not that bad. i think people tend to over bourd when trying to exlain themselves. i think a clingy person is just the right person to get to know. if people dont want that they are not worth going after mainly because they dont want someone on there back to stop there...so to say naughtyness. kep guys at a distance, for one thing it will make them more interested in you instead of finding out everything there is to know about you in the first hour because you throw yourself at them. keep a bit of mistery. Use you looks to get the attention of others, use it to your advantage. self confidence come from within not what some can show your but can be brought out in you. hang with people that will motivate you. its time to stand up and say you guna go in, devil horns first and take some chances, just to feel what it is like. but remember to not throw yourself at someone. All the best!

Answer 6

Its OK, most people I know are shy. I think you should really tell people not to mess with your emotions even if you are shy. I don't think you would scare away any guys, I mean there are some guys at my school that are clingy.

Answer 7

there are probly guys that like you but are too shy to ask... I know I'm shy too and I liked this shy girl and it was really hard to get to know her. Just be patient there will be someone who will come along. Try to smile at a guy you like and maybe he'll feel confident to talk to you.

Answer 8

girl if i may say so, if you can see yourself pretty then i have to disagree with you have low self esteem, the only problem i think you have is trust,

and about people messing with your heart because is guy nature the like to flirt with cute girl.
just be yourself and i always say this, don't think just simply listen, is they don't say anything to you like they seriously like, forget them.

Answer 9

If they don't take the time to get to know you, they are not worth it. Just be yourself and when your not looking someone will come along. If you force it, it will never happen.

Answer 10

you should expose yourself to extra corricular activities so you would be exposed to people and get rid of your shyness.. dont let your shyness eat you...explore down and enjoy yourself!