So im 20 years old, and havent lived with my parents in over a year.
We had been engaged for quite a while, and my parents knew about that. My father is stationed for the military in Japan and kept asking me whens the big day, for I live in Hawaii and hed have to make plans way ahead. My fiances parents live all over the mainland US.
I got tired of waiting for everyones schedules to work out for my wedding so me and my fiance flew to Vegas and eloped alone.
Im my fathers only daugther, and i have to tell him because he is going to write me off on his taxes since hes been sending me $1K every month so i guess he'll have to find out soon. Weve already been married for a month, and its hard every time I talk to him and not tell him. Hes going to be so upset . . would telling him in an email be too tacky when we have a very close relationship?
2006-12-19 19:02:16 · 21 answers · asked by Barbara Faye 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Try to tell him on the phone since you are very far away from each other, otherwise I'd say it in person. He'll understand, especially since you went to Vegas, and eloped its not like you had this immense wedding and didn't let him know. He may be a little upset at first but he will understand.....just don't wait too long...
Good Luck and Congratulations!
2006-12-19 19:06:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first take a deep breath and let it out slowly LoL. But seriously the longer you wait the harder the blow. Secondly, unless it's impossible, tell him in person. If you can't fly out to him then get a web-cam (if neither of you have them then get both of you one and tell him over it) that'll soften the blow a little. I would expect him to be really mad, since he (as you said) was really into wanting to be at your wedding.
Or you could go with this (I had a friend do this) have a wedding for your parents. After all a wedding isn't even for you or your spouse its for your loved ones LoL. You never have to tell them that you were already married and can just have the ceremony for them.
Telling him in a email would be to much of a blow. (I hate to say this but..) well it would pretty much make you a coward. If you don't want to go with the face to face thing then at least call him and tell him. He won't respect you if you can at least tell him in person.
But honestly it was really wrong of you and your spouse to run off like that. If you were tired of waiting on everyone else you should have put your foot down and said "This is when it's going to be and if you can't make it, well I'm very sorry, but I'm not changing the day.' The blow is really going to fall as most men need to give their daughters away. Its a dad thing and it makes them feel better. I just hope you're dad doesn't blame your husband.
Have happy life, live long, and Happy Holidays.
2006-12-19 19:34:45 · answer #2 · answered by babylovesu06 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i just told him my dad hasn't been in my life for the last 6 years.the only difference between me and you is that i actually don't give 2 hoots what his feelings are - he hasn't got the right to moan or object.i had a baby at 23,so im fairly sure that means that i have the right to decide whether i get married or not!while this may seem callous,i have issues with my dad,and if he didn't care about hurting me,i see no point in trying to protect him and yes,he told me i was too young (coming from a man who married at 24 to my mum,who was aged 18,then had twins at 21 and 26 - im one of those babies - and divorced by the time he was 32!) its hard,but i do think your best bet is to just go see him with your fiance and be honest - you're an adult,there isn't much he can do.its better to be upfront and honest rather than blindside him
2016-05-22 23:24:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The email would break his heart. The longer you wait, the more it'll hurt Dad. Call him and tell him that you have exciting news. Tell him what you told us - that you two have been together for a long time and decided to get married. Tell him that with everyone being all over the globe, planning a big wedding didn't sound like something you both wanted to tackle. Say you got married in LV, but you want to see Dad asap to have a special, personal celebration with him.
2006-12-19 19:07:22 · answer #4 · answered by 101pupil 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have only been married for one month, the right thing to do would be to allow him to claim you on his taxes since he has supported you for 11 months out of the year. Yeah, telling him in an email would be petty. You need to call him and inform him of the marriage. He might surprise you and just be happy for you. A suggestion that you might consider to smooth everything over with all involved would be to have a reception.
2006-12-19 19:14:41 · answer #5 · answered by rosey 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him:
"Daddy I know you have been busting your butt to send me 1k a month forever, but I just could not wait for you to request time off so I flew to Las Vegas (on your 1000) and got eloped. Even though you only asked so you could walk your only daughter down the aisle-I hope you understand that you raised a selfish snot. P.S. I hope you don't plan on claiming me for taxes-Yep I jacked that up too."
That should just about cover all the bases and congrats on the wedding.
2006-12-19 19:19:01 · answer #6 · answered by worldwideemtff 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would suggest meeting him in person and explain that you were afraid revealing the news. Marriage could be the most important event in your life and should also be one of your happiest memories. It is never late correcting a mistake but I truly suggest speaking to your dad as soon as possible. The coming of the holidays and the New Year is a great opportunity to meet with your parents and talk to them.
2006-12-19 19:09:39 · answer #7 · answered by Alexandros 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes that would be tacky! You could write out what you wanted to say and read it to him, but you need to do it as close to in-person as you can. If that means telling him over the phone, so be it. Own up to your decisions. You are an adult now, and hopefully if you are mature enough to be married, you are mature enough to tell your dad. Good luck!
2006-12-19 19:05:22 · answer #8 · answered by MARIE 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should have atleast waited for your father if no one else. hes going to be hurt. just come out and tell him but also tell him you want to place another wedding and reception at another time so that everyone will be able to be there. tell him that you felt bad about living together without being married and that everyone was so busy that no one could come at them same time. he'll probably be sad at first but then he will understand
2006-12-19 19:05:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should call him and tell him. if you and your dad that close you would have told him the same day you and your husband now got married. he is going to be very upset with you because you are his only daughter and he wanted to be there for your wedding day. you are married now so just go and call him and tell him. good luck
2006-12-19 19:12:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋