i have this boyfriend,we're together for about 3 or 4 years already. lately, i have noticed that he's got other priorities. i totally understand if he puts career and studies before me but what i dont get is why he'd rather meet his friends than me. he always says that he's thinking of our future. that he's working and studying hard and all that. and i dont complain against work and all but dont i deserve some of his time?
what should i do?
2006-12-19 18:48:23 · 21 answers · asked by aesthetic90210 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, you deserve better than that. It is kinda sad story. 3~4 years of realationship must have many good memories, but you feel like missing something in your life even you have bf, then you should let go and start a new one. Yeah, it is easy to say this. but... all I can say is you derserve better than that.
Is he super movie star or something? Is that why he is so busy for having some quality time with you?
If is not, well... I am suer you know what I mean.
Good day.
2006-12-19 22:22:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think before you begin any relationship, you must decide where on his/her priority list is acceptable for you. Most relationships start out with each person treating the other person as their number 1 priority. But as the relationship gets a few years older, people naturally assign it less meaning in their life. If he is making you his 4th or 5th priority and you expect to be number 1 or number 2, then you definitely have a problem. You can talk to him about it, but it's likely that you will remain a lower priority for him.
2006-12-20 03:06:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You absolutely deserve some of his time, you are after all his girlfriend. Don't even allow him to put his career or studies above you. You are supposed to be number one to him and it sounds like you are put somewhere in the bottom of the ranks. NO ONE, especially you, deserves this kind of treatment. I can understand his trying to make it right by saying he is doing all of this to think of both of your future, but what kind of a future will it be when you are always put below something else? Aren't you better than that? (I think you are!)
Do NOT allow this to go on. You need your time with your man, and if he is not going to give it, then you need to check out your priorities and see how far down the totem pole you can push him. (If it were me, I would put things like painting my toenails and washing my hair above him.)
First, you really need to talk to him. See what kind of agreement the two of you can come up with. Keep in mind that he should be able to see his friends sometimes too, (just not to where it is eating up your time.) But you need to let him know how this is hurting you, and tell him you think you deserve to have a boyfriend who wants to spend time with you.
If none of this works, get rid of him. If he is putting all this stuff ahead of you now, it will only get worse in the future.
Good luck to you and I hope this helps!
2006-12-20 03:02:09 · answer #3 · answered by Cutelilminxy 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hey, Maya, you sound like an intelligent female. Respecting and supporting your man's career, studies and social avenues is wonderful but don't allow your self to be ignored. Sit down and explain to your man your situation. Don't allow yourself to get upset and don't give him any ultimatums. In so many words, he doesn't have time for you.
This may be a hard pill to swallow, but try to concentrate on you and the things you enjoy doing even if you must do it with other people. Hopefully, your man will come out of his self absorbtion before it's too late.
2006-12-20 03:02:23 · answer #4 · answered by Vivian 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk it out with him and let him know how you feel. Sometimes the ones we love don't take heed to our needs cos they are too busy concentrating on their own needs. I agree with you though - if he only has a little free time then he should be spending the bulk of it with you. It is ok for him to spend time with his friends as long as he includes you in his plans. But remember - men never seem to think like women do so let him know how you feel.
2006-12-20 02:52:55 · answer #5 · answered by Tequila Sheila SA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When people spend a lot of time together they eventually become a bit bored. Not that he doesn't love you anymore but you can only have so much steak before a bit of chicken starts to look good. I would suggest you start getting involved in his group of friends so you can share those moments with him rather that doing it alone.
2006-12-20 02:58:15 · answer #6 · answered by Rabble Rouser 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I believe you deserve his time. But with all the pressure he is probably feeling, a man just needs to be with his men. If you were in his shoes, wouldn't you feel better being out with the ladies? It's just that kind of bonding you don't recieve from your partner.
I say talk it out with him and see where his priorities really lie.
2006-12-20 02:58:45 · answer #7 · answered by xxGlamROCK 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It seems like he is growing distant. There is no real reason as to why someone would ignore their gf for their friends, or vice versa for that matter. Point this out to him if he makes your requests for a little one on one time seem bothersome to him. If he continues, let go. He obviously doesn't care enough to make time for you, so don't waste yours on him.
Good luck, and God Bless.
2006-12-20 02:57:50 · answer #8 · answered by Somebody Real 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he probably gets way too comfortable with you now and starts taking you for grant.
Talk to him. I still believe that even how busy he is, he shouldn't be too busy to give his girl some attention.
2006-12-20 02:53:56 · answer #9 · answered by Mumbling Girl 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You do deserve his time. Maybe tell him that YOU want to take HIM out - a date planned/paid by you. Be sultry about it. If he acts like he could care less, then you have your answer.
2006-12-20 02:53:18 · answer #10 · answered by 101pupil 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋