IS it wrong to look/consider?

Question

There's a girl that I love imensley (J), and in fact I was in a long distance reltionship for 2 years, and were technically engaged for a bit, but as I said, it was very long dist. and thus why we're not officially dating anymore. Though, there;s no official title, to me at least, b/c I can't deal with it unless could be actually together, it's essetialy the same as before, in terms of the emothional aspect, and been thinkin more about moving tranfering to be with her, even asked managers/personel at my job about what would need to do. Until recently, there been nothing other than personal insecutrities that seem to be in the way of my feelin for here and going, but there's recently become an affection I feel toward a girl I work with (A), not saying i'd ever have a chance with her; but my question is this Is it right/inconsiderate to think about tryin to start someth with (A), when (J) is such a huge part of my life, when I may not be able to give all myself to them (A)?

Answer 1

It is not unusual to find someone who you spend time with more regularly and become attracted to them. Really you need to ask yourself where you think the 'relationship' with (J) is going and if it is what you are able to enjoy for the now. As for (A) i think if you really like her and you could see yourself being with her, she is closer to you distance wise and it doesnt sound like things with (J) are going the way you would like so maybe going things a shot with (A) might be just what you need. Also we all have a bit of baggage when we get into a new relationship wether it be feelings for someone else or old hurt, etc so think seriously about what you want and where you are likely to get it. goodluck!!

Answer 2

I think you shouldn't make any rash move just yet loverboy....Just ask yourself....you may know her (J) long distance as you said...but it's different when you live with the person. And to give up everything where you are and take the big risk? I know many people who made mistakes doing that. Why don't you just take an extended vacation and spend at least a month together and see how it goes....she if you are really meant for each other. If you cant go, then offer her a ticket to come and be with you.... That's if you want to be really sure.....if not, then just forget her and go with (A). At least (A) is nearby.....There's nothing to feel guilty about.....you got to go on with you life you know....good luck!