ok so my b/f is the best thing thats happend to me ever!!. and his mom recently got transfered to switzerland. hes ther now and its been 3 long days w/ out him. at school when ever some one talks about someting i alwasy think of him and wen ever im huged i keep thinking its him [but its not cos hes in another country]
we are still dateing and we promised each other we would visit and we still tlak alot. but how can i cope with him being so far and me just wanting to throw my arms around him and hold him every secound.?!?
god help!
2006-12-19 17:25:03 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just take it one day at a time. its not the end of the world. you will probably end up breaking up anyway. only a few school romances actually last. and even fewer long distance relationships last. i was in one with the guy i was engaged to in my senior year. it lasted a year and then i just lost interest. one of you will to.
2006-12-19 17:32:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Right now you are bummed. And rightfully so. Keep in touch with him but resign yourself to the fact that he is there and you're not. Start dating again. When this guy comes back and you get together I am sure you will find that time has changed you both. You might just want to stay friends and no more. Besides, Switzerland has tall, beautiful, sexually charged women. I'm sure he won't be lonely for too long. Cheers!!!
2006-12-19 17:32:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long Distance Relationships
The first key to success with long distance relationships is effective communication. It is important for both parties to be able to feel that if they need to talk or write to the other person, communication will be welcomed and met with active communication from the other. The quality of the relationship is more likely to increase if both people develop the ability to share feelings openly with each other. The second key to success is a demonstrated commitment to the relationship by both parties. What kind of commitment, and how serious or light it is, will be different for different couples. Being so far apart can be a scary and risky endeavor for most couples, so the third and fourth keys are a willingness to take risks, and the presence of a solid and secure trust between the two people. This doesn't mean that each person needs to skydive from a plane, but rather, that each will trust that the other person's social life in his or her own town will not be a threat to the relationship. Trust is so important that if it isn't strong, you can make a conscious effort to work on it, both on your own and together. This point leads to the fifth key, independence for each person, with a healthy level of dependence upon each other. When these are present, there is a balance of power in the relationship between both people, and each person can be autonomous but still get emotional needs met by the other person. Furthermore, with an appropriate balance of independence and dependence, each person is allowed, even encouraged, to grow and change as an individual, which everyone needs. It is, therefore, wise not to expect that your partner or yourself will always stay exactly the same as when the relationship started.
Pro-active things to be doing as on-going maintenance for yourself:
Get involved in organizations or causes that you personally believe in. Put meaningful things in your life other than your significant other.
Help those who have challenging life circumstances.
For example, volunteer at a nursing home or orphanage.
Make sure there are supportive people and places in your life.
Every once in a while, do something that is atypical of yourself, although not self-defeating. For example, go to a movie on a weeknight or get your hair cut.
Tend to your spiritual needs. [GOD is definitely a major factor here... true where both are believers]
Specific strategies to try when the depression of missing hits you:
Let out the emotions: cry, scream, sing, exercise, go for a run, play a sport, take a walk
Write a letter to the person, whether you send it or not, letting her/him know how you are feeling
Write poetry or a journal entry or both
Go watch a sporting event
Come into the Counseling Center to talk about it
Go see a movie: comedy to make you laugh, adventure to take you away, tearjerker to help you cry
Go to the TV lounge or study lounge to have other people around you; don't stay alone in your room
Call, visit, or study with a friend
Take homework to a restaurant and do it over coffee or a meal
As if relationships weren't complicated enough, having them across a long distance is extremely challenging. However, throughout time couples have had to be miles apart, and have been able to maintain a solid, happy, successful relationship until they could be together again. In order to find success, there are some key elements that are necessary, which have been explained above. Without these key elements, relationships may endure, although they may not be healthy or fulfilling ones.
http://campus.umr.edu/counsel/selfhelp/vpl/distancerelationships.html
Other Resources:
DO the Separation Inventory found here =
http://www.longdistancerelationships.net/The_Separation_Inventory_Brochure_15_page_version.pdf
Welcome to the online resource website for The Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships. The Center, a division of JF Milne Publications, is dedicated to providing resources for couples in long distance relationships and for therapists and researchers who work with separated couples. We also provide information for professors, teachers, and other instructors who teach interpersonal relations or communication sciences. A media section is available for those looking for authoritative information in preparation for stories or articles on geographically separated couples. Our bookstore can provide easy access to resources for separated couples. Enjoy your visit!
http://www.longdistancerelationships.net/
2006-12-19 17:36:28 · answer #3 · answered by coffeeincafe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spend time with her, have sleepovers and girls night out. Take photos and make a scrap book. But most of all don't loose touch with her, email , call and hopefully visit. Keep your friendship long. Good Luck
2016-03-13 08:47:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a new friend - seriously. It can be a good experience for you, you could find someone you're great with. But keep in contact with your old friend.
You know the girlscout song: "Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver and the other's gold."
2006-12-19 17:28:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is long gone and is never coming back. After a month he will stop calling you, and after 6 weeks he will be banging some Swede - just get over it.
2006-12-19 17:28:16 · answer #6 · answered by franktowers 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, you must about 13 years old. In time, the feelings will go away with the "I will wait forever" promises.
2006-12-19 17:29:51 · answer #7 · answered by Big C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ouch. thats so hard! talk to ur angels and ask them to send him special msg's to say that u still love him.
stay true to urself and keep in contact!
2006-12-19 17:28:44 · answer #8 · answered by Shnooks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you must ahve realy pissed him off.
2006-12-19 17:27:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋